Divorce - Not Get Out of Jail Free Card

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Marriage isn't a rose garden.

When a marriage goes from honey I love you to honey you’ve got to go – it may be best to consider all options before chucking a once beautiful relationship. There probably was a time when your spouse was your confidant, you best friend, your defender and partner. So what happened that put you on the road to divorce?

                                          

Yeh, yeh it’s human nature to hurl the blame at your marriage partner. You’ve made a divorce list and checking it twice just to make sure you didn’t miss one little piddly diddly thing. You’re dead set on getting your freedom come hell or high water – after all you deserve a better life. 

So just for kicks let’s check out what you did to deserve this better life. When your spouse lost his or her job did you comfort them and give them a tad of encouragement or did you turn your back, because there was only one bread winner in the house now?

When your marriage partner needed a friend, were you there for them or did you look at him or her like they had two heads and say grow up, get a life? When your spouse wanted to spend the week end with you – did you opt to party with friends or have your parents come for a visit?

When your other half wanted to meet your for a luncheon date or catch a good movie with you – did you make it happen or just make excuses why you couldn’t spend time with them?

When your spouse bought you gift that you hated – how did you handle it?  When your spouse wanted to start going to Church, did you laugh and tell them it’s a waste of time?

It’s difficult times for families due to the recession – homes, jobs and hope has been lost. Did you let the tough external things that occur due to the recession ruin a once beautiful marriage?  Did you lose an awesome relationship, because you were swimming in your own sorrows and needed someone to blame? 

When was the last time you said, “honey I love you?  So often it’s the little things that are small red flags in the marriage, usually overlooked by one or both spouses. Judges have said that often neither spouse remembers what started the problems in their marriage – they just woke up one day with a stranger in their house.

No doubt there are many reasons why divorce is the best choice; there may be abuse in the marriage, a dysfunctional spouse, infidelity etc. and it may be time to move on…

But, when a marriage becomes fragmented because two people quit communicating and went their separate ways, it might be a good time to revisit all of the things that made your marriage beautiful and special. Marriage is like a roller coaster ride – it’s a mix of highs and lows. No one promised you a rose garden! 

Divorce isn’t a ‘get out of jail free card;” it is destructive to you, your spouse and the children. Families carry the scars of divorce for a lifetime.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com