Marriage vs Cohabitating

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Divorce law varies from state to state and so do divorce forms. Divorce decisions depend upon the type of relationship you have with other person.

Marriage and cohabitating are two entirely different lifestyles – divorce judges try to make child custody decisions based on the “best interest” of the children.

When couples cohabitate rather than marry, the family law judge in most states grant sole custody of the child or children to the mother, if she is deemed to be a good parent. There are exceptions to this sole custody law if the father can provide evidence that the mother is unstable or unable to function or perform the duties required of a parent.

When the mother isn’t in the home, has passed away or is in an institution the father is granted sole custody over grandparents, aunts, uncles or family friends. The exception to this rule is when the father is unable to provide a home for the children or suffers from chronic addictions, in an institution or has passed away. 

When deciding custody family law judges make final decisions based on the “best interests” of the children – usually the “best interests” of the children supersedes all other laws. A parent is considered to be a fit parent unless he or she is ruled unfit due to personal lifestyle or activities. 

Child custody remains one of the most contentious, heart breaking battles in family law courts. When a good parent allows anger and emotion to dictate their actions they may lose the custody battle before their day in court.

http://www.zoefamilylaw.com/blog/2013/02/texas-father-seeks-sole-custody-of-child.shtml

If a couple is married, judges at times will make the decision to give one parent sole legal custody – this allows one parent to make all major decisions about the child or children’s physical and emotional welfare. 

Often times the judge grants a parent sole physical custody of the children, but grants the other parent visitation rights unless the court feels visitation rights at this time isn’t in the best interest of the children. A judge’s ultimate goal is to allow the children to interact with both parents if possible.

A word of caution about custody battles, if one spouse has legal counsel and one spouse has opted to themselves (pro se,) the spouse with legal counsel will probably get the custody nod from the judge. Of course if the pro se litigant has studied family law, child custody laws and knows courtroom procedures they may win the custody battle – it’s a risk when one spouse has legal counsel. 

Pro se litigants must be prepared to show evidence beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have been the primary caregiver during the marriage. This takes documentation and proof in the courtroom. Child custody battles prove to be a slippery slope that can head any direction – this might be the time to hire legal counsel. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Child Custody Problems

Although the court has made the decision with regard to child custody, sometimes a parent disregards the court’s ruling.  The court has decided how the custody of the children will be handled and yet parents are in error when they ignore these rulings.  Just because one has sole custody of the children doesn’t mean that this ruling can’t be overturned. 

Visitation by a parent is established, in fact a schedule is in place and the parent or parents either intentional or unintentional opts to run the show when it relates to visitation.  Some parents make it a habit of being late when picking up the children or at times just don't bother picking up the children when it’s their time to interact with the kids.  The courts will frown on this type of behavior because it isn’t in the best interest of the children.

The biggest problem is the divorced parents are incapable of having an adult conversation about the children. If one parent disregards the court ruling regularly, it is important to track this behavior.  Write down how late a parent is picking up the children, or if they neglected to pick up the children at all.  Log times missed, times being late by day, date and time – you may have to revisit the court and get these problems resolved.

On the other hand as stated earlier, if the primary caregiver doesn’t obey court orders, he or she may lose custody of the children.  Attempting to keep the children from the other parent is a big “no no.”  Not having the children ready to go when its visitation rights for the other parent can create problems too – each parent is bound by court orders and must to the best of their ability abide by them.

Not all child custody laws are etched in stone – there’s times when one parent decides to move out of state and this can become a problem for both parents. It is best to try to communicate with each other and see if you can resolve the problem together without having to return to court. If this doesn’t work maybe it’s time to consult legal counsel, because the family laws vary from State to State and in fact there may not be a simple solution.

What can be done if the ex takes the children on a vacation without your knowledge?   Granted you should know where they are going and when they’re expected to return.   A parent should be able to contact the children in case of an emergency – best to try to resolve this with your ex.  If the ex makes it a habit of taking the children on trips without your knowledge, it’s time to have a consult with an attorney.

When parents are unable or unwilling to communicate about their children’s care, there definitely is a problem and the courts will have to review the custody orders and again make decisions which are in the best interest of the children. 

Before going back to court get legal counsel, find out what your legal rights are and what you can do to correct the custody problems.  An Attorney will probably tell you to document all events concerning visitation rights, care of the children including any medical problems of the children that need to be addressed.  Once again don’t land in court without evidence to back up your testimony, “he said, she said” testimony is weak and a judge needs actual proof.  

As Always,

Little Tboca