What 1200 Judges (Divorce)

The decision to represent ones self in divorce court is a difficult choice for several reasons. For some it’s a money issue and for others it’s a personality conflict between themselves and their attorney or they feel they can do a better job on their own. The most difficult problem for a pro se litigant is knowing how to work within the judicial system.

The perfect divorce if one could refer to it as that is when both parties actually agree on division of property, assets and financial obligations. Usually when children involved, both parents want to share custody and agree upon joint custody. This is the perfect scenario for those who want to do it themselves without intervention from the courts. 

The pro se litigant who believes he or she will do a stellar job representing themselves has many obstacles to overcome. Very few of these people realize that they have just undertaken a job that will require hours of study and homework. The entire divorce process requires a certain amount of legal knowledge and the ability to control one’s emotions.

Lets assume you have filed your divorce papers timely. You know about the Statute of Limitations, how to legally serve papers on your spouse and understand how to draft and answer interrogatories. But, the big question remains – do you know how to work within the Judicial system and build a winning case. The bottom line is this – have you created a case that will insure a decision in your favor from the judge. 

There’s a reason that judges and the American Bar Association say that pro se litigants often times lose more than they should in divorce court. Most pro se litigants don’t know how to work within the Judicial system, signatures and the Statute of Limitations are forgotten, interrogatories aren’t completed properly. Pro se litigants end up in court totally unprepared because they don’t understand the intricacies of building a powerful case for their day in court. 

Remember you have one day in court and one small window of time to present your case to the Judge. Nobody cares about your case more than you do. Finding yourself in court can be a scary and frustrating experience.

www.caseboss.com is offering free assistance to 100 people who are contemplating or going through a divorce.  Don’t go to court with your pants down – the caseboss team will show you how to build a powerful case for your day in court. 

Just one click of the mouse is all it takes. Go to www.caseboss.com

As Always,

Little Tboca

Temporary Custody of Children

If at the time of the temporary divorce hearing you are granted temporary custody of the children, child support, alimony and granted the right to live in the marital home until the divorce is final, remember the word “temporary.” 

 Don’t traipse out of divorce court thinking you’re about to slam dunk your spouse, because the family law judge granted you temporary custody of the children.

How you behave and handle the temporary orders will affect the judge’s final decision. Buyer beware - these orders by the divorce judge aren’t indicative of his or her final decision in court. Usually a divorce attorney will discuss temporary custody - the orders are for a limited amount of time only. 

If you become over zealous and get in a pay back mode, your king or queen for a day mode will come crashing down.  Don’t take unfair advantage of your spouse by running up excessive credit card charges, or neglecting your responsibilities in maintaining the marital residence.  Family law judges will take your behavior into consideration when granting a divorce. 

Denying your spouse visitation rights won’t just get your fingers burnt – it may be the reason the judge changes the custody orders.  You should encourage visitation rights with your spouse and definitely shouldn’t use the children as pawns to punish the other parent.

This is a time when you better take a deep breath and follow the temporary orders granted to you – ditch the anger and emotion. The judge didn’t give you a free pass to be abusive of your spouse.  

Don’t get on the social media and brag about the judge’s orders. Don’t assume that you’re home free – your day in court hasn’t arrived yet and what you do or say will be held against you.

Temporary means during the interim, nothing is etched in concrete. A family law judge will decide what is in the “best interest” of the children and if you’ve acted like a knuckle head during this time, there’s a strong probability that you will walk out of court very displeased with the judge’s final orders.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Difference in Good Provider and Good Parent

Divorce judges have a different view on parenting - sometimes its hard to understand why the judge looks more favorable on one spouse then the other.  It all boils down to what is the "best interest of the children."

It's a proven fact that children’s love can’t be purchased – the bottom line is this children want your love, your mentoring and most of all your time. Presents, fancy clothes, expensive toys are actually a flimsy band aid that appears to be the perfect fix for children. Many parents substitute material things in place of unconditional love.

Are you a good provider or a good parent, actually many parents wear both hats?  But, inadvertently a good provider can be the trigger that ends up in divorce. He or she works 24/7 to provide a beautiful home, fancy clothes, expensive toys thinking they have done their duty for their spouse and their kids.

In fact, when divorce comes knocking they’re shocked, angry and on the fight – they feel they’ve been betrayed. They’ve been so busy providing over the years that they totally missed out on the God given blessing of parenting and strengthening their marriage.  To them money is the true measure of a successful spouse – they consider themselves a responsible partner and parent in the marriage.  If asked to rate themselves, they’re probably rating themselves somewhere between 8 and 10. 

When the spouse has filed for divorce the good provider feels they have been blind-sided and rejected. They don’t want a divorce and can’t understand why the spouse has turned on them.  They’ve worked 24/7 providing for the family only to be shunned or abandoned and without a doubt they’ve given their family the best of the best when it comes to a roof over their heads, fancy clothes, great schools and lavish gifts.

But a successful provider isn’t always considered a good parent or marriage partner because they haven’t had time to participate with spouse and children.  They’ve been to busy making money to hang out with the spouse and kids. Although they wanted to attend their children’s school or sports activities, their just wasn’t enough time in the day to do it all.

So are you a good provider, but not a good parent?  Being a provider and good parent takes skill and the art of prioritizing.  It’s a balance that is difficult to achieve, but achievable. 

Your children and spouse need your time, your love and most of all your interaction with them as a family. The kids want to see you sitting on the bleachers watching them play a game or going with them fishing or on a picnic. The spouse deserves a date now and some free time just with you.

So before divorce reaches your doorstep, take a step back and evaluate yourself.  Have you carved out time for your family during your busy day?  Do you spend time hanging out with your kids, talking to them, playing games with them and mentoring them? 

A great way to evaluate yourself is this; (1) Has your marriage grown stronger over the years, (2) Do you spend time with your children or just supply them with material things, and (3) Can you look at yourself in the mirror and smile, because you’re a good provider and a great parent? 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Getting to Know Your Divorce Judge

Those going through divorce have a plateful, in fact it’s more like a tubful of do’s and don’ts.  If you’re going it alone (pro se,) here’s one more thought to fill your already cluttered mind.

 If you are contemplating divorce it might behoove you to do a little investigating and check out the divorce judge who will literally have you life in his or her hands.

Do you know who your divorce judge will be for your day in court?  Do you know how he or she controls the courtroom?  Don’t assume that just because you’re a good person – it will be smooth sailing in the courtroom. 

Are you going in front of a pussycat who wants both litigants to live happily ever after – if so he or she will probably slices the pie right down the middle. The pussy cat thinks it takes two to tango and strives to satisfy both parties.  He’s pleasant and provides a comfortable atmosphere in the courtroom – definitely not power driven!  

What if you find yourself in front of a legal eagle “owl” that follows family law statutes by the book?  He or she won’t budge and a pitty party may give the impression that you’re begging for mercy - that doesn’t sit well with the ole owl. Don’t take it personally, but he won’t budge and you’re about to have the family law book thrown at you.

Then again you may find yourself in front the no nonsense “tiger” and he or she pretty much considers the “he said, she said” testimony as crap and dives for the heart of the divorce.  Children are his or her priority and he’ll do whatever it takes to insure that the children get the best piece of the pie. He is well versed in family law and very capable of making tough decisions when necessary. This judge deserves a big thank you, because he’s honest, knowledgeable and the children are his priority.

No doubt there are a few family law judges who enjoy putting the squeeze on both parties. He or she basks in the power they possess in the courtroom - there won’t be any doubt in your mind that they are in control. Speak only when spoken to and don’t expect any favors.  Whatever you do don’t cross this person because he or she has your future in their hands!

 This article is based on personal experience and each judge has a name – cover your bet by preparing a powerful case for court and knowing your judge’s courtroom DNA. 

As Always,

Little Tboca 

www.caseboss.com

Where's the Last Little Duck?

It seems a bit outdated to speak about getting your ducks all in a row, but it’s a proven fact if you forget the last duck your day in court may be disastrous. That last little duck is the secret that loses many divorce cases – without that little duck you don’t have a strong case to present to the judge. A winning divorce case takes time to prepare, sorting receipts, documents, assets etc., but it's a must do if you want to present a strong case in divorce court. 

Let’s assume you’ve filed divorce papers, followed state laws on serving your spouse, have temporary orders in place and answered all interrogatories. It would appear that you’ve been diligent in doing your homework and the judge’s decision should be in your favor.

Did you forget that the judge literally holds your life in his or her hands? The judge has a small window of time to hear your case and your spouse has all of his or her ducks in a row. They have prepared a case backed by hard facts eliminating the “he said, she said” testimony – they can back all of their statements with paid receipts, accurate timelines and verifiable proof. 

Don’t be a loser and walk out of court thinking what you should have, could have but didn’t do…  Help is just a click of the mouse away! 

Check out www.caseboss.com – the boss that works for you. Here you’ll find information on preparing a divorce case along with support from a great team who will assist you in preparing. This service is free, no strings or hidden agendas to those contemplating or in the midst of a divorce.  Very few things in life are free, but this is one time you’ll discover free assistance, answers to your questions and free support.

Go to www.caseboss.com  and start building a powerful case for your day in court.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Turn Off the Hot Buttons in Divorce Court

ivorce is one of the most financially traumatic things you can go through. Money spent on getting mad or getting even is money wasted.
Richard Wagner  

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.
Margaret Atwood 

You’ve passed the contemplating divorce stage and you’re headed for court for the showdown. You’ve been stellar in your homework, divorce forms and divorce papers are in order – you dotted ever “I” and crossed every ”T.” 

The divorce case you’re carrying in your briefcase is so airtight that no divorce judge in the USA would dare cross you or give you an unfavorable decision. This is merely wishful thinking on your part!

As you’re taking that final walk into the courtroom, your demeanor and body language isn’t exactly what one would perceive as friendly, in control and calm. Instead you look like a moose on the loose looking for a fight.

Going into the courtroom with all of your hot buttons turned on will blow your day in court clear out of the water.  So you’re mad, your emotions are verging on hatred for your spouse and you don’t care if the whole world knows your feelings, so what?  Not a good philosophy in the courtroom if you’re praying for a favorable decision from the family law judge.

Believe it or not some people forget their court date – not good this is a sure way to lose your case by default.  A judge once said, “can the cheap theatrics,” he or she means watch the body language and verbal interruptions in my courtroom. 

Don’t ever use the social media as a trash bucket – don’t threaten your spouse, defame them, brag about an adulterous relationship or make libelous statements on social media because it will come back to haunt you and bite more than a little piece out of your b—t.

There are occasions when people act in such an outrageous manner in the courtroom or hallways that they’re cuffed and hauled off to a jail cell. Don’t be one of these statistics.

You have a right to be heard in court, but you don’t have a right to disrupt the judge’s courtroom. You’re in control of your destiny – don’t blow your chances for a favorable decision by the judge.  Control emotions, dress appropriately for court, speak respectfully to the judge and have a strong fact laden case to present to the judge.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.
Margaret Atwood 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce and Assumptions Don't Mix

So often one stumbles and falls when they assume something to be true - this often occurs in a contested divorce. Safest strategy is don't assume!

One party in the marital relationship believes they have  been a good person, a good provider and excellent parent.  They feel that any divorce judge would acknowledge that they in fact had been an honest active participant in the relationship and deserve a big piece of the divorce pie.

They also assume that the family divorce laws in their State will protect them and what's good for the goose is also good for the gander meaning a family law judge will dole out a favorable decision in their behalf when it comes to custody, alimony and division of marital assets.

They have made a decision (not always a well - informed decision) to represent themselves in court, because they believe beyond a doubt that once the judge here's their side of the story he or she will smile on them favorably.  FYI, if your story is based on here say evidence or better know as "he said, she said" philosophy usually one can expect a disastrous crash in the courtroom.

The divorce judge uses the family laws as his or her tools that assist them in making informed decisions.  Just because one feels he or she can sit down and have a little chit chat with the judge telling him or her all the gory details of the marital relationship does not make much sense.

Divorce judges hear the same ole divorce stories day in and day out. Each story is stated in different ways with a few frills added - not much surprises them and frankly if you don't give them some concrete information and documentation to work with they are pretty much stonewalled.

If you go to court without documented information showing time, date, receipts actual proof regarding the marital relationship, the judge has nothing to work with when making a decision. Possibly your soon to be ex has legal counsel that has all information documented. This definitely puts you in a bad light when representing yourself if you're depending entirely on your "he said, she said" evidence.

When it comes to contentious divorce, don't assume or go half prepared because there are many different ways of interpreting the family laws. Study the family law in your State, go to workshops or venues offered in your State and learn how file papers, prepare interrogatories and prepare your divorce case.

Learn how to prepare your divorce case at www.caseboss.com  it's free for a year if you sign up now.

As Always,
Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

"He Said, She Said" Not in Divorce Court

So often one stumbles and falls when they assume something to be true - this often occurs in a contested divorce.

One party in the marital relationship believes they have  been a good person, a good provider and excellent parent.  They feel that any divorce judge would acknowledge that they in fact had been an honest active participant in the relationship and deserve a big piece of the divorce pie.

They also assume that the family divorce laws in their State will protect them and what's good for the goose is also good for the gander meaning a family law judge will dole out a favorable decision in their behalf when it comes to custody, alimony and division of marital assets.

They have made a decision (not always a well - informed decision) to represent themselves in court, because they believe beyond a doubt that once the judge here's their side of the story he or she will smile on them favorably.  FYI, if your story is based on here say evidence or better know as "he said, she said" philosophy usually one can expect a disastrous crash in the courtroom.

The divorce judge uses the family laws as his or her tools that assist them in making informed decisions.  Just because one feels he or she can sit down and have a little chit chat with the judge telling him or her all the gory details of the marital relationship does not make much sense.

Divorce judges hear the same ole divorce stories day in and day out. Each story is stated in different ways with a few frills added - not much surprises them and frankly if you don't give them some concrete information and documentation to work with they are pretty much stonewalled.

If you go to court without documented information showing time, date, receipts actual proof regarding the marital relationship, the judge has nothing to work with when making a decision. Possibly your soon to be ex has legal counsel that has all information documented. This definitely puts you in a bad light when representing yourself if you're depending entirely on your "he said, she said" evidence.

When it comes to contentious divorce, don't assume or go half prepared because there are many different ways of interpreting the family laws. Study the family law in your State, go to workshops or venues offered in your State and learn how file papers, prepare interrogatories and prepare your divorce case.

As Always,
Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

3 Errors by Pro Se Litigants in Divorce Court

For those contemplating divorce, before jumping into the lion's den proceed with caution.  If your divorce is contested and includes children you want to take some time doing a little investigative research.

The three errors that will darn sure get you in hot water.
1.  Wrong divorce forms are used
2.  Failure to complete or fill out divorce forms correctly
3.  Assuming that the divorce judge is a mind reader and capable of filling in the missing puzzles.

Many times anger and emotion dictates one's action and that can be the very reason that the family law judge passes down an unfavorable decision. The States vary in their family law rules and jumping online and grabbing the wrong divorce forms can be disastrous. Many online sites think one shoe fits all and shoots you the wrong divorce forms for your State.

Assuming you have the correct divorce forms, do you know how to ask for temporary orders during the interim before the divorce is final?  Do you know how to fill out interrogatories?  Do you know the Statute of Limitations in your State?  Do you know how to serve your soon to be ex with divorce papers?  Failure to do any of the above correctly will either get your case kicked out of court or may result in very unfavorable decisions by the divorce judge.

The divorce judge isn't a mind reader, nor does he or she have the time to try to find all of the missing pieces to your divorce puzzle. Have you created a strong divorce case for the court and eliminated the "He said, She said" testimony?

Here's an idea that will save you heartache, confusion and give you a road map for filing divorce papers.  I'm using Arizona as an example. Put Az.gov in the browser, which pulls up the home site then put family law in the search box which takes you to a site that offers the Arizona Family Law information.  At this point search for divorce and read everything before downloading any divorce forms.

All State Governments offer similar information and this is probably the most reliable source if filing for divorce without legal counsel. If you are representing yourself (pro se), this is time well spent. I have written articles on the major errors of those contemplating divorce a jillion times, but almost 75% of pro se litigants are still losing their in court, because they didn't know courtroom protocol or family law rules in their State.

It's so unfair to see so many articles that actually aren't enabling the pro se litigants - so many times these articles actually demoralize, pitty and give the pro se litigant excuses for their struggles in the courtroom. Not taking the time to learn your State Laws or learn the correct way to fill out divorce forms is a feeble excuse - you have the right to represent yourself, but you also have the responsibility of learning how to do this correctly.

This article wasn't written to be brutal or beat up pro se litigants, but it's about being responsible, engaged and equipping oneself with the information that is available. All States have workshops and venues established to help the pro se litigants and all State Governments offer information on family law and divorce.

As Always,
Little Tboca

Treat the Judge With Respect

Judges are human, have feelings and need a little coddling now and then.  They don’t like their courtroom in disarray with spouses acting like hyenas in for the kill.  Nor do they like litigants who come to court expecting a “pitty party.” 

The judge has a very small window of time to hear your divorce and make his or her decision. Without realizing it, what you do and how you act in court impacts your case. 

For the women, if you’re dressed like a hooker don’t expect any special favors from the judge, this is especially true if there are children involved.  In fact you’ve already shown disrespect for the judge in his or her courtroom.

Same things goes for the men, arriving in court dressed like Fred Flintstone, looking like you’ve just crawled out of bed probably will get you a couple of bad dings before divorce proceedings start.

The judge is very perceptive and your body language can be extremely disruptive if you’re shaking your head, pointing your finger or shooting daggers at your soon to be ex. The judge has a job to do - speak when spoken to and don’t turn the courtroom into a backyard brawl.

The fact that two people are appearing before a divorce judge probably means that the divorce is contested and very little is agreed upon – so do yourself a favor and follow the family law rules courtroom etiquette.   

The judge has your future in his or her hands. What does coddling the judge mean? It merely means that one should act respectful and behave appropriately in his or hers courtroom.  Your demeanor and actions in court will affect the judge’s final decision.

Refer to the judge as “your honor” not Judge Wilson, talk to the judge not to the soon to be ex or his or her attorney.  Give special attention to your attire and body language. Never argue with the judge – present a strong case in court with verified proof of bills you have paid, parenting of the children including time spent with children, additional expenses since filing for divorce etc… 

When speaking to the judge, always include the spouse saying our children, our liabilities, our assets and our relationship. Give the judge the necessary tools to grant you a favorable decision – leave emotions out of the courtroom.  Stay on task – your job is to get a favorable decision from the judge.  Don’t play Russian roulette in the courtroom!  www.caseboss.com

As Always,

Little Tboca   

Give the Divorce Judge Some TLC

Judges are human, have feelings and need a little coddling now and then.  They don’t like their courtroom in disarray with spouses acting like hyenas in for the kill.  Nor do they like litigants who come to court expecting a “pitty party.” 

The judge has a very small window of time to hear your divorce and make his or her decision. Without realizing it, what you do and how you act in court impacts your case. 

For the women, if you’re dressed like a hooker don’t expect any special favors from the judge, this is especially true if there are children involved.  In fact you’ve already shown disrespect for the judge in his or her courtroom.

Same things goes for the men, arriving in court dressed like Fred Flintstone, looking like you’ve just crawled out of bed probably will get you a couple of bad dings before divorce proceedings start.

The judge is very perceptive and your body language can be extremely disruptive if you’re shaking your head, pointing your finger or shooting daggers at your soon to be ex.  The judge has a job to do - speak when spoken to and don’t turn the courtroom into a backyard brawl.

The fact that two people are appearing before a divorce judge probably means that the divorce is contested and very little is agreed upon – so do yourself a favor and follow the family law rules courtroom etiquette.   

The judge has your future in his or her hands. What does coddling the judge mean? It merely means that one should act respectful and behave appropriately in his or hers courtroom.  Your demeanor and actions in court will affect the judge’s final decision.

Refer to the judge as “your honor” not Judge Wilson, talk to the judge not to the soon to be ex or his or her attorney.  Give special attention to your attire and body language.  Never argue with the judge – present a strong case in court with verified proof of bills you have paid, parenting of the children including time spent with children, additional expenses since filing for divorce etc… 

When speaking to the judge, always include the spouse saying our children, our liabilities, our assets and our relationship. Give the judge the necessary tools to grant you a favorable decision – leave emotions out of the courtroom.  Stay on task – your job is to get a favorable decision from the judge.  Don’t play Russian roulette in the courtroom!

As Always,  

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca     

Divorce - Moose on the Loose

www.caseboss.com

The divorce case you’re carrying in your briefcase is so airtight that no divorce judge in the USA would dare cross you or give you an unfavorable decision. This is merely wishful thinking on your part!

As you’re taking that final walk into the courtroom, your demeanor and body language isn’t exactly what one would perceive as friendly, in control and calm. Instead you look like a moose on the loose looking for a fight.

Going into the courtroom with all of your hot buttons turned on will blow your day in court clear out of the water.  So you’re mad, your emotions are verging on hatred for your spouse and you don’t care if the whole world knows your feelings, so what?  Not a good philosophy in the courtroom if you’re praying for a favorable decision from the family law judge.

Believe it or not some people forget their court date – not good this is a sure way to lose your case by default.  A judge once said, “can the cheap theatrics,” he or she means watch the body language and verbal interruptions in my courtroom. 

Don’t ever use the social media as a trash bucket – don’t threaten your spouse, defame them, brag about an adulterous relationship or make libelous statements on social media because it will come back to haunt you and bite more than a little piece out of your b—t.

There are occasions when people act in such an outrageous manner in the courtroom or hallways that they’re cuffed and hauled off to a jail cell. Don’t be one of these statistics.

You have a right to be heard in court, but you don’t have a right to disrupt the judge’s courtroom. You’re in control of your destiny – don’t blow your chances for a favorable decision by the judge.  Control emotions, dress appropriately for court, speak respectfully to the judge and have a strong fact laden case to present to the judge.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.
Margaret Atwood 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Flying Solo - Pro Se Divorce

www.caseboss.com

When a divorce is contested by a spouse, usually the fight is on and battle has been declared. Whether you are flying solo and representing yourself as a pro se litigant or you have legal council there are some very important things to remember.

Preparing yourself for that brief visit in the Courtroom in front of the divorce judge who is a total stranger who literally has your life in his or her hands requires time, energy and dedication.  

Just because you’ve hired legal council doesn’t insure a positive outcome in the courtroom. If you’re too busy to team up with your attorney, your day in court will probably be disastrous.

They can’t present a strong case without your assistance – they need organized data and specific information and this requires hours of input on your part.  Eliminating the “he said, she said” factor solidifies a trusting attorney/client relationship and increases the probability of having a winning divorce case. 

If you’re representing yourself as a pro se litigant you’d better plan on hours of sleepless nights as you prepare a powerful case. Ignorance of the judicial system or courtroom procedures is absolutely a non-winner; there’s no excuse for going to court with your pants down. 

Whether you have legal council or you’re a pro se litigant a winning divorce case depends on you and you alone. It’s unfair to blame your attorney if you haven’t responded timely to their requests. It’s unfair to blame  the judge if you haven’t arrived in court prepared.

In a nutshell the burden of proof rests on your shoulders. A judge makes his or her decisions based on information at hand – did you prepare your case like a good detective eliminating the hear say evidence and replacing it with hard facts that gives a judge the informational tools that he or she needs? 

A winning divorce case in the court of law isn’t an accident; it can only be attained by building a strong offense. It takes time, energy and even money sometimes to organize data and create specific reports by day, month or year. There is some great assistance out there for people who are contemplating or in the process of divorce. 

Go to www.caseboss.com and start today building a powerful divorce court for the judge. No hidden charges or unexpected surprises – it’s totally free for one year.  Although they haven’t officially launched their site yet, they’re offering a hand up to men or women. The team is anxious to assist you and will be happy to answer your questions.    

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce Court - Dress, Demeanor & Data

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It’s your day in Court – first impression in the Courtroom is extremely important. Leave your anger, frustration and pity parties at the door – revisit them in the privacy of your home but never in front of the Judge. Remember your manners, speak softly make eye contact and put on a happy face. 

Does anyone really care what how you dress?  You can bet your bottom dollar that the Judge, your soon to be ex and his or her attorney are checking you out from head to toe. 

                                                                                         

Men should wear dress slacks or a suit. Levis and a sloppy shirt hanging over your mid section just doesn’t fly in the courtroom if you’re trying to make a good impression.  A nice hair cut adds a subtle touch and a soft pastel colored shirt makes a perfect picture. If possible cover all tattoos, remove any nose rings and for Pete’s sake leave the profanity at home.

Women should cover body parts, not having anything hanging out, over or flopping.  Dress like this is the most important day of your life, which it may well be if you come to court looking like a lady of the night. Pastels are a great choice, red is probably a little too bold and black may be a little too stern. Don’t come flaunting orange or purple hair and leave the “tiger claws” at home.

Keep your composure, don’t give way to frowns, muttering under your breath, shaking your head or pointing your fingers at anyone. If there are children, refer to them at all times saying, “our children,” not my children. Good rule of thumb until the divorce is final it’s good when being descriptive to say our home, our vehicles or our debts etc…

If your spouse has council and you’re a pro se litigant be prepared to be ripped, diced and sliced by his or her attorney. Do not act defensive or angry, smile and answer questions accurately and quietly. You’ve arrived in court with a slew of “hot buttons” turn them off and don’t fall prey to lies, accusations or threats.

Before you head to Court, learn how to create a strong powerful case that tells your story based on facts and hard evidence. Learn how to eliminate the“he said, she said” testimony.  The D's of divorce, "Dress - Demeanor - Data."  Dress appropriately, control emotions and present a powerful case, not a sob story. 

Have a Great Day

As Always,

Little Tboca

Appeal Divorce Case

www.caseboss.com

The answer is yes, but you must be able to prove that the family law judge actually erred when making final conclusions about your divorce.  If the judge based his or her decisions on information based facts  that were presented during the divorce trial, than it’s unlikely that an appeal questioning the final orders by the judge will hold water.

So often an appeal is made due to the division of marital assets – a spouse feels he or should have a larger portion of the pie – usually in the end the judge after careful deliberation divided the assets in a fair and unbiased manner.  Remember each State has a formula for figuring child support and a tentative guideline regarding alimony, child custody and division of marital assets.

There are many variables to consider and no doubt family law judges are in error some of the time, but before having your attorney appeal the judge’s decision read your family laws and be sure that you actually have a valid reason to appeal the decision.

If one spouse has been the primary caregiver, stayed at home to raise the children, helped the other spouse start a business or helped them through college it’s pretty much a given that the judge will take all of this into consideration.

Usually child custody is decided in the “best interest “of the children and the family law judge definitely wants to make decisions that will benefit the children.  True, you may have a  high powered job and make a better than average salary, but that doesn’t mean you’re the best choice to take care of the children.

If the judge had hard evidence or factual evidence during the trial, he or she based the final decisions upon the evidence presented.  The appellate court which will address your appeal isn’t going to listen to new testimony or question witnesses. Their job is to verify if the divorce judge actually  made an error when handing down his/her final decision.

Normally the appellate process is long and drawn out taking several years when making a decision over child custody – be prepared to pay a lot of money in attorney fees without any guarantees that you will win the appeal.

Even if you have legal counsel study the family laws in your State – find out how child custody, child support, alimony and division of marital assets are determined.  If you want a big hunk of a retirement fund, or sole custody of the children or a large alimony payment than be prepared to show the family law judge factual information that proves beyond a doubt that you warrant a big piece of the pie.

Many states are changing the alimony laws, which are old relics and need to be updated – alimony for a lifetime is being removed from family law in many States.  Often times fathers are getting the tip of the hat when it comes to child custody.  Times have changed and the recession changes the information that the divorce judge will receive.  Many are without jobs or receiving unemployment, food stamps or some type of Government assistance and they don’t have any pie to share with anyone.

Divorce in 2014 may prove to be extremely difficult when both parents are without a job or have lost their homes and vehicles. 

Difference Between Home Run or Strike Out in Divorce

Divorce is up – will you hit a home run or strike out?  Sounds a bit crazy, but check out the “don’ts” first, because they may result in a strikeout before the balls even pitched your way.

So often it’s the little things that many people consider insignificant that is an irritant to the judge.

First of all your appearance is important, don’t dress like farmer Jones or Susie hot pants. Beware, your body language can be a dead give away – smirking, shaking your head, clenching fists and shooting daggers at your soon to be ex won’t win you any brownie points with the judge.

If you’re a pro se litigant don’t walk into court with an armload of loose papers decorated with a bunch of post it notes. Pertinent information should be organized and neatly packaged. Don’t antagonize the judge, chuck the yehs, huhs and shrugs at the door – address the judge as “your honor” and put on your best suit of manners showing respect to the man or women who has your future in the palm of their hands. 

Don’t forget to fill out interrogatories correctly and don’t miss a scheduled court date. You have a right to represent yourself - having said that you have certain responsibilities too!

Now for the “Do’s” that will give you a home run. Get your divorce forms from the court or go on line to your State’s government website and download them. Check on the Statute of Limitations and verify which court will hear your divorce. Learn the laws in your state before  serving papers. 

Do your paperwork, double check each form and make sure your signature is legible. Do study courtroom procedure and study your State’s divorce laws. Always address the judge not your spouse or his or her legal council when speaking.

Going to court totally organized is the icing on the cake that will help you get your home run. Take time to prepare a winning case for your day in court. Organize your documents, tag them correctly, compile all bills, receipts and data in an orderly manner by date, time and subject.

There is help out there for those contemplating or going through a divorce. CaseBoss has offered to help people prepare their divorce case. Two important things: (1) This service is absolutely free, and (2) CaseBoss has a team ready to assist you and answer questions.  Go to www.caseboss.com get started today. No charges - it's free!

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce Isn't A Cure All

Although divorce seems to be a fad, it may have future problems that many don’t anticipate or realize.  

Divorce is not a cure all for your marital problems and often times divorce actually increases your financial obligations and can dramatically change your present life style.

A family law judge will to the best of his or her ability follow the laws in your State, but that doesn’t mean division of property and assets aren’t always divided equally. 

Nor does it mean that divorce will relieve either man or woman of their responsibility to their children or their financial obligations. 

Although the old antiquated alimony laws are changing in many States, there is a possibility that the one who has given up their professional life to raise the children will in fact receive alimony for a period of time that allows them to further their education or do whatever is necessary to rejoin the workforce. 

Sometimes when it comes to child custody, the judge has a real struggle because parents aren’t residing in the same State.  He or she must try to decide what is in fact in “the best interest” of the children and that can be a tough decision to make due to lack of concrete information.  The judge knows one parent will have limited visitation, because of the commuting factor and he also knows that to the children this can be devastating almost like totally losing a parent. 

The judge can’t ensure that the parents will maintain a civil relationship when it comes to visitation or custody – many parents misuses and abuse the judge’s orders using them as a weapon against their ex. 

So don’t expect a bed of roses once the divorce is final – in fact you may experience a living “hell” until the children reach age of maturity.  The family law judge always hopes that both parties will consider the welfare of the children and act like adults working  together on child custody arrangements.

Contested divorces can be pretty much like playing Russian roulette with your future – one never knows until the judge passes down his or her final decision how their day in court will play out.  

The family law judge’s job is to follow the laws in their State – it isn’t their responsibility or job to punish your soon to be ex even though you feel that you’ve been mistreated during your marital relationship. 

So if you’re contemplating divorce, study the family laws in your State.  If you’re going pro se a consultation with an attorney might help you in making that tough decision or you might attend some of the workshops and divorce venues provided by your State. 

So often emotions dictate one’s actions and that in itself is pretty scary.  Treat divorce as a business transaction, get a handle on the emotions if you can and proceed with caution.

As Always,

Little Tboca

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Marriage vs Cohabitating

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Divorce law varies from state to state and so do divorce forms. Divorce decisions depend upon the type of relationship you have with other person.

Marriage and cohabitating are two entirely different lifestyles – divorce judges try to make child custody decisions based on the “best interest” of the children.

When couples cohabitate rather than marry, the family law judge in most states grant sole custody of the child or children to the mother, if she is deemed to be a good parent. There are exceptions to this sole custody law if the father can provide evidence that the mother is unstable or unable to function or perform the duties required of a parent.

When the mother isn’t in the home, has passed away or is in an institution the father is granted sole custody over grandparents, aunts, uncles or family friends. The exception to this rule is when the father is unable to provide a home for the children or suffers from chronic addictions, in an institution or has passed away. 

When deciding custody family law judges make final decisions based on the “best interests” of the children – usually the “best interests” of the children supersedes all other laws. A parent is considered to be a fit parent unless he or she is ruled unfit due to personal lifestyle or activities. 

Child custody remains one of the most contentious, heart breaking battles in family law courts. When a good parent allows anger and emotion to dictate their actions they may lose the custody battle before their day in court.

http://www.zoefamilylaw.com/blog/2013/02/texas-father-seeks-sole-custody-of-child.shtml

If a couple is married, judges at times will make the decision to give one parent sole legal custody – this allows one parent to make all major decisions about the child or children’s physical and emotional welfare. 

Often times the judge grants a parent sole physical custody of the children, but grants the other parent visitation rights unless the court feels visitation rights at this time isn’t in the best interest of the children. A judge’s ultimate goal is to allow the children to interact with both parents if possible.

A word of caution about custody battles, if one spouse has legal counsel and one spouse has opted to themselves (pro se,) the spouse with legal counsel will probably get the custody nod from the judge. Of course if the pro se litigant has studied family law, child custody laws and knows courtroom procedures they may win the custody battle – it’s a risk when one spouse has legal counsel. 

Pro se litigants must be prepared to show evidence beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have been the primary caregiver during the marriage. This takes documentation and proof in the courtroom. Child custody battles prove to be a slippery slope that can head any direction – this might be the time to hire legal counsel. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Pathway to Freedom Not Always Pro Se Divorce

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So often pro se divorce isn’t the pathway to freedom – it isn’t a get out of jail free card.  Although pro se divorce is marketed, publicized and promoted, there isn’t any miraculous cure for pro se divorce litigants. Do it yourself divorce or pro se divorce has many hidden problems that need to be addressed. 

The Judicial system throughout the country is trying to assist the litigants by offering workshops and self help venues. There are great divorce websites on the Internet that offer free information and assistance to those contemplating divorce, but there are many Internet sites that prey on pro se litigant wanting their money. 

Don’t fall victim to the Internet sites that tout divorce as fast and easy – those sites play on emotions. Divorce that involves alimony, child custody, child support and division of property isn’t easy. Filling out divorce papers on line is a risk and it’s your life and future that is involved, what appears easy, inexpensive can cost much more than taking the time to do it right.

It’s best to control anger and emotions before jumping off the cliff into a lion’s den.  If divorce is the only option, take time studying the family laws in your State – learn what your options really are before diving into divorce.

Wearing the hat of legal counsel can be grueling and difficult. The Judicial system isn’t exactly user friendly – it takes hours of study and homework to understand how to maneuver within the divorce laws of your State.

In many ways the laws concerning self representation seem to confuse rather than assist litigants. It merely means that you are granted the right to present your divorce case in court without legal counsel – it doesn’t offer anything more than the legal right to represent yourself.

End of conversation, this law doesn’t insure a favorable decision from the judge, legal assistance from the court staff or any other options.  What you see is what you get –before going pro se remember it can be very costly by negatively affecting your future. 

Statistics show that pro se litigants are losing what is rightfully theirs in divorce court, because they fail follow the laws in their State. The pro se litigant can’t continue blaming judges or attorneys – it is their responsibility to follow family laws as established in their State. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Best Interest of the Children - Divorce

Family law judges and divorce attorneys will say the best interest of the children is a priority in a divorce case. It’s not a secret that most family law judges make children their priority when handing down their final divorce decision.  

If you are a pro se litigant you’re filing or have filed for divorce, understand that the children come first in most divorces. 

Obviously family law judges should make final divorce decisions for both parties by determining what the “best interest" for the child or children.”  

But, the laws of our land serve as guidelines and some judges take it upon themselves to step outside of this window which at times isn’t in the “best interest” of the children. 

Here is an example of the "best interests" of the children written by an outstanding judge’s judge now retired.  Her history on the bench will show that the children came first when making final divorce decisions.  Judge Ann Kass said the “best interests” of children had many meanings and she took all precautions when children were involved in divorce.  

http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/kass2.html

Prepare your case for your day in court, but be sure you make the children your priority.  What is truly best for the child or children - who has been the primary caregiver?  Which parent has the time and desire to put the children first? What are the wishes of the children?  Are both parents emotionally stable and capable of mentoring and raising the children, if so joint custody is an excellent choice? 

Here is an excellent site that discusses children, parenting and divorce.  http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/children-and-divorce-221.shtml

It was one of those ridiculous arrangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced—when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination. ~ John Irving

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com