Divorce - Are You Ready for the Long Haul?

It’s a proven fact that necessity is the “Mother of all inventions or ideas.”  Thomas Edison didn’t like to work by candle light so he invented the light bulb. Old Ben Franklin had problems with his eyesight so he put two lenses together known as bifocals. Steve Jobs was the founder and creator of “Apple.”  Where there’s a need – there’s usually a way to create a product or service that saves time, money and aggravation.

Check this out www.caseboss.com - it's a free service for one year!  Are you contemplating divorce as we speak?

Something many people don’t realize is divorce problems can show their ugly heads  years after a divorce is granted if there are children involved.  Picture the ex spouse sitting in your home, collecting alimony, child support and living high on the hog.  All that was left for you was 8 supervised visitation days per month with the children, horrendous legal bills and a broken heart. To make things worse, this person was a pro at manipulating the court system.

As the years passed, you became a frequent flyer in the courtroom – your ex wanted more money because you’d received a promotion, accused you of child molestation, accused you of stalking and the dirty list rambles on… Nothing went your way in the courtroom!

The ex defied the court’s rulings and pretty much got off free as a bird. This devious person refused to get counseling for your child, refused to help your child with homework. This shark spent all of their spare time thinking of ways to snatch more money from you, but one day everything changed.

You received full custody of the child, the ex had to pay their portion of all medical bills for the child, had to go for counseling and was ordered by the court to get a job (no more alimony payments.)  You’d been walking through “hell’ for 12 years, but a light bulb finally went off in your head and you did two things at this point: (1) Eliminated any “he said, she said” evidence, and (2) Created a powerful case for your next court visit.

This person who was beaten up by the judicial system is the boss at www.caseboss.com – the boss who really works for you.  This website will help those going through or contemplating divorce. The caseboss team has openings left for those who want to build a powerful divorce case for their day in court. No charges, no gimmicks or hidden agendas – you have free use of the site for 1 year and access to a team that will answer questions or offer assistance. This is not a legal site.

Until pro se litigants accept the responsibilities that accompany self representation, they will continue to leave the courtroom with head hung low feeling they had been ripped off and the whole world is against them. It’s not easy representing yourself – it takes an extensive amount of homework and energy on your part to prepare for your day in court.

A story is just a story and everyone going to divorce court has a story to tell.  Be a good detective, take your story and turn it into a powerful divorce case backed with the cold hard facts, paid receipts, documents organized by subject, date and time.  www.caseboss.com  is just a mouse click away.

As Always,


Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Don't Lose Your Divorce Case

Maybe you've been contemplating divorce for a while, but getting up one day and whacking your spouse with the news that you’ve filed for divorce may not be in your best interest. 

If divorce looms on the horizon in the near future - here is a good rule of thumb to follow. Keep your dirty laundry at home - social media may result in loosing your divorce case. Don’t let the egg come before the chicken!

It’s not wise to broadcast via Face Book, Twitter or other social media or share with your supposedly best friend that you hate your spouse and intend to pay him or her back. What you say out of anger or runaway emotions on a social venue may in fact affect a judge’s decision. 

It is critical to your future and the future of your children (if children involved) that you make rational well thought out decisions.  Usually it takes two to tango and both parties share responsibility for a marriage crash. If you feel all avenues have been exhausted for repairing the broken marriage, then go forward with Plan A and prepare for your day in court. 

Best idea at this time is to become a good detective – go back several years and gather up all documents that pertain to your assets. Start a journal and keep a daily log of money spent, children’s activities, medical bills, retirement funds and all paid receipts.  Now is the time to record any and all information that will be beneficial to you in court - record credit card bills, medical bills, bank statements etc. 

After doing this extensive homework it’s time to sit down and talk with your spouse.  Don’t let emotions or anger enter into this conversation – it’s a strong possibility that your spouse may want to end the marriage too and is open to a divorce by mutual agreement. This saves both parties the expense of legal counsel or arbitration. 

If on the other hand this turns into a free for all or nasty divorce you need to understand what it means to create a strong powerful case for your day in court. Your objective is to eliminate the “he said, she said” malarkey and replace it with the cold hard facts. 

There is a new company, not launched yet who has openings for those contemplating or going though divorce.  Go to www.caseboss.com   No secret charges or hidden costs involved it's free for one year – you’ll find a great team of people who will answer questions and assist you in your case building. 

As Always

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Getting to Know Your Divorce Judge

Those going through divorce have a plateful, in fact it’s more like a tubful of do’s and don’ts.  If you’re going it alone (pro se,) here’s one more thought to fill your already cluttered mind.

 If you are contemplating divorce it might behoove you to do a little investigating and check out the divorce judge who will literally have you life in his or her hands.

Do you know who your divorce judge will be for your day in court?  Do you know how he or she controls the courtroom?  Don’t assume that just because you’re a good person – it will be smooth sailing in the courtroom. 

Are you going in front of a pussycat who wants both litigants to live happily ever after – if so he or she will probably slices the pie right down the middle. The pussy cat thinks it takes two to tango and strives to satisfy both parties.  He’s pleasant and provides a comfortable atmosphere in the courtroom – definitely not power driven!  

What if you find yourself in front of a legal eagle “owl” that follows family law statutes by the book?  He or she won’t budge and a pitty party may give the impression that you’re begging for mercy - that doesn’t sit well with the ole owl. Don’t take it personally, but he won’t budge and you’re about to have the family law book thrown at you.

Then again you may find yourself in front the no nonsense “tiger” and he or she pretty much considers the “he said, she said” testimony as crap and dives for the heart of the divorce.  Children are his or her priority and he’ll do whatever it takes to insure that the children get the best piece of the pie. He is well versed in family law and very capable of making tough decisions when necessary. This judge deserves a big thank you, because he’s honest, knowledgeable and the children are his priority.

No doubt there are a few family law judges who enjoy putting the squeeze on both parties. He or she basks in the power they possess in the courtroom - there won’t be any doubt in your mind that they are in control. Speak only when spoken to and don’t expect any favors.  Whatever you do don’t cross this person because he or she has your future in their hands!

 This article is based on personal experience and each judge has a name – cover your bet by preparing a powerful case for court and knowing your judge’s courtroom DNA. 

As Always,

Little Tboca 

www.caseboss.com

Till Death Do They Part

Often times the picture perfect marriage where two people vow to love, care for and honor till death do they part falls apart at the seams. What appeared to be a perfect union between a man and women has disintegrated over the years and it seems that the marriage is fractured beyond repair. Neither party had used divorce as a get out of jail free card - neither one contemplated divorce for years...

Neither one is pointing a finger or blaming their spouse; they just wake up one morning and realize that the once powerful relationship no longer exists.  

They both agree that it’s time to go their separate ways. No need to hire legal council, after all they’re intelligent adults and both are willing to sit down and complete the necessary paperwork to end their marriage. 

They will divide up assets, retirement and financial obligations insuring that neither one will suffer needlessly. This is a fairytale divorce without hero or heroine – no villain and no magical being to come to the aid of the hero.

This type of divorce which definitely works for some is called a non-contested or mutual divorce. Both parties agree on division of property, assets and financial obligations.  If children are involved, usually both parents want to share custody so joint custody is agreed upon. 

But what happens when neither spouse can agree on division of property, assets, financial obligations and child custody. Oftentimes one spouse hires a high powered attorney to represent them while the other opts to be a pro se litigant. Unless the pro se litigant is prepared to do an extensive amount of homework and preparation odds are against them. 

Due to their lack of judicial knowledge and courtroom procedure they’re at the mercy of the spouse who has legal council. One has a case to present to the Judge and the other has a story laced with “he said, she said” testimony. Although many judges have empathy for the pro se litigant, their hands are tied and they must make determinations on information at hand.

The American Bar Association and many judges say, “Pro Se litigants often lose more then they should when representing themselves,” because the pro se litigant doesn’t know how to prepare his or her case based on hard facts. There are many workshops and self help information venues for the pro se litigants, but few take advantage of this type of support. 

An Arizona company not yet launched is extending a hand up to  pro se litigants for a year without any charges or hidden surprises.  Go to www.caseboss.com  The service is free absolutely no strings attached, it will help the pro se litigant prepare a powerful case for divorce court. 

Their team is waiting to assist you and answer your questions while you learn to prepare your case for your day in court.

1. Judges have little patience with pro se litigants or legal counsel who comes to Court unprepared.

2.  Judges have a small window of time and make final decisions based on verified information presented to them.

3.  Judges are in control of your future – decisions are made on hard facts and not “he said, she said” information. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Don't Forget the Children

When divorce knocks at the door often times the father and mother are preoccupied in their individual missions that they forget the children. One spouse is high tailing it out of Dodge because selfishly they consider “divorce” a lifeline and a pathway to freedom.  The other spouse sees no freedom in sight; they see their world as they once knew it going up in smoke.

Notice that neither parent thought of the children first – they were too busy arming themselves and preparing for battle.  This has nothing to do with their love for their children – most parents love their children unconditionally.  It’s all about priorities sort of like which comes first the chicken or the egg.  If you are contemplating divorce, possibly you should sit down with your spouse and discuss the welfare of the children. 

They both feel that they’re in a sink or swim mode and their first instinct is to save themselves and deal with the children later.  During this survival instinct one or both decide to use the children as pawns. They degrade each other in front of the children and try to get the children to take sides. 

How evil, these little angels are just left there dangling without an advocate in their corner.  Sometimes dad or mom are so infatuated with their new playmate there isn’t any time to hang out with their kids.

The other spouse is on a never ending roller coaster ride of emotions, anger - they’re obsessed with the desire to cremate their once loving soul mate leaving them unfit to be around the children.

So what about the kids, who really cares about the kids?  Shouldn’t the kids be the first priority when divorce is on the horizon?  There are judges out there who are children’s advocates and they do everything in their power to protect the children.

One of these judges is a great lady (Judge Ann Kass) from New Mexico and she believes the courts should give more weight to the children’s rights than the rights of the parents.

Honorable Judge Ann Kass decided to include a “nesting” plan for some extremely out of control parents.  Nesting is when the children remain in their home and the parents with suitcase in hand take turns moving in and out of the children’s home.

This was Judge Ann Kass’s way of leveling the playing field where neither parent would have total control.  The parents experienced what the children will be going thru as they are shuffled back and forth with suitcase in hand.

“Nesting” seems rather extreme, but it encourages parents to put their children at the top of their priority list.  Divorce is a home wrecker and children are pretty much at the mercy of the parents unless the judge intervenes. 

Before jumping into a divorce, take time to think about your children’s welfare physically and emotionally. There’s no cut and dried solution when there’s a divorce with children. 

A few things that will ease the pain of divorce for your children is: (1) Both parents need to communicate a message to their children that they are loved, (2) Never make the children choose sides – don’t use them as pawns, (3) Both parents should do whatever it takes to help the children thru the confusing transitions created by divorce, and (4) Sit down with the children and assure them that the divorce isn’t their fault.

It’s a proven fact that children want your time, your love and the security you can offer them, not lavish gifts or expensive toys. 

Love Can’t Be Purchased – it’s a God given commodity that your children deserve!

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.

Turn Off the Hot Buttons in Divorce Court

ivorce is one of the most financially traumatic things you can go through. Money spent on getting mad or getting even is money wasted.
Richard Wagner  

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.
Margaret Atwood 

You’ve passed the contemplating divorce stage and you’re headed for court for the showdown. You’ve been stellar in your homework, divorce forms and divorce papers are in order – you dotted ever “I” and crossed every ”T.” 

The divorce case you’re carrying in your briefcase is so airtight that no divorce judge in the USA would dare cross you or give you an unfavorable decision. This is merely wishful thinking on your part!

As you’re taking that final walk into the courtroom, your demeanor and body language isn’t exactly what one would perceive as friendly, in control and calm. Instead you look like a moose on the loose looking for a fight.

Going into the courtroom with all of your hot buttons turned on will blow your day in court clear out of the water.  So you’re mad, your emotions are verging on hatred for your spouse and you don’t care if the whole world knows your feelings, so what?  Not a good philosophy in the courtroom if you’re praying for a favorable decision from the family law judge.

Believe it or not some people forget their court date – not good this is a sure way to lose your case by default.  A judge once said, “can the cheap theatrics,” he or she means watch the body language and verbal interruptions in my courtroom. 

Don’t ever use the social media as a trash bucket – don’t threaten your spouse, defame them, brag about an adulterous relationship or make libelous statements on social media because it will come back to haunt you and bite more than a little piece out of your b—t.

There are occasions when people act in such an outrageous manner in the courtroom or hallways that they’re cuffed and hauled off to a jail cell. Don’t be one of these statistics.

You have a right to be heard in court, but you don’t have a right to disrupt the judge’s courtroom. You’re in control of your destiny – don’t blow your chances for a favorable decision by the judge.  Control emotions, dress appropriately for court, speak respectfully to the judge and have a strong fact laden case to present to the judge.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.
Margaret Atwood 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Will You Lose Your Divorce Case?

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You're contemplating divorce and about to lose your case in court! How to lose your divorce and receive an unfavorable decision from the family law judge.  It's true that some divorce litigants just can't keep their emotions in tact and they've decided to re-invent the family laws in their State. So having said that - are you losing your divorce due to lack of knowledge, uncontrolled emotions and the gnawing desire to be the winner and punish your soon to be ex.

When one decides to take the law in their own hands, they will not just stub a toe or get their hands smacked  by a family law judge they are insuring that their future will be mighty bleak and without recourse. Don't fall into the unknown black divorce pit where there's no possible way to recover from your bad decisions.

Suppose you and your spouse have been having marital problems for years and finally you come to the conclusion that divorce is the only answer. Before talking with your marriage partner about divorce, you quietly and methodically create what you think is a winning chess game.

Since you are the financial genius in the relationship, you have access to savings and investments allowing you to transfer, hide and rearrange marital assets. You start skimming from the savings, bank accounts and other funds without detection.

Next you decide to move out of the marital home - you tell your spouse the move is better for both of you. Remember, you will owe rent on another place and actually still have responsibilities for maintaining the other household.  Moving out means one thing - you will have more expenses and once out of the house the soon to be ex isn't going to welcome you back in your home again.

Lord forbid if you are so out of control that you threaten or abuse your spouse. This can become a slam dunk for the ex when you land in divorce court. Judges frown on threats and physical abuse.

Don't use the social media as a place to air all of your dirty laundry, because your ex's attorney will use this as proof that you are an unfit parent or irresponsible party. What you say on the social media can and will be held against you...

Maybe you're in a payback mode and you want to flaunt your new girlfriend or boyfriend in front of your spouse and children. If you've bought this new playmate expensive jewelry, clothes or have taken them on luxurious vacations, you're going to rue the day that you felt so superior and in control.

Dress appropriately for divorce court, treat the judge with respect referring to him as your honor and when speaking about the children or assets be sure to clarify the statements by saying our children, our home, our assets etc.  Don't make faces at your soon to be ex or their attorney and don't set their shaking your head or pointing your finger at them.

Your future lays in the hands of the family law judge - conduct and demeanor will all have an impact on the judges final decisions. Don't try to reinvent the family laws in your State - be honest when you fill out the divorce forms and include everything that you and your spouse have mutually.

As Always,
Little Tboca

Divorce - Children are the Priority!

Best Interests of the Children

Family law judges and divorce attorneys will say the best interest of the children is a priority in a divorce case. It’s not a secret that most family law judges make children their priority when handing down their final divorce decision.  

If you are a pro se litigant you’re filing or have filed for divorce, understand that the children come first in most divorces. The judge will want to know which parent has been the primary caregiver during the marital relationship. He or she may discover that both parents are excellent caregivers and that will determine custody issues. 

Obviously family law judges should make final divorce decisions for both parties by determining what the “best interest" for the child or children.”   

But, the laws of our land serve as guidelines and some judges take it upon themselves to step outside of this window which at times isn’t in the “best interest” of the children. 

Here is an example of the "best interests" of the children written by an outstanding judge’s judge now retired.  Her history on the bench will show that the children came first when making final divorce decisions.  Judge Ann Kass said the “best interests” of children had many meanings and she took all precautions when children were involved in divorce.

http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/kass2.html

Prepare your case for your day in court, but be sure you make the children your priority.  What is truly best for the child or children - who has been the primary caregiver?  Which parent has the time and desire to put the children first? What are the wishes of the children?  Are both parents emotionally stable and capable of mentoring and raising the children, if so joint custody is an excellent choice? 

Here is an excellent site that discusses children, parenting and divorce. http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/children-and-divorce-221.shtml

It was one of those ridiculous arrangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced—when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination. ~ John Irving

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Divorce & Statute of Limitations

If you are contemplating divorce, one very important piece of information that should be researched before filing for divorce is the Statute of Limitations and the residency laws in your State.  States vary in their laws regarding divorce and Statute of Limitations.

With the exception of  Alaska, S. Dakota and Washington, most States have stringent residency requirements ranging from 60 days to a year. Be sure you know the residency requirements in your State - go to your State Government and search for divorce, then find out what your State requirements are... 

Your divorce isn't legal if you don't work within the Statute of Limitations. These State Statute of Limitations

are etched in stone on residency, serving spouse papers, answering interrogatories and not knowing your State laws just isn't a feasible excuse.  

A good rule of thumb is to file your divorce papers in the State that you reside in or you may have the added expense of traveling back and forth from State to State. If spouse lives out of State, you may want to consider filing divorce papers first, because if your spouse files first you will be going to his or her State for the divorce proceedings. 

It's important to remember that each State has their own Statutes of Limitations, residency laws and family laws pertaining specifically to divorce. There are guidelines that must be followed - if you're contemplating or going through divorce, it's your responsibility to apprise yourself of these laws and statutes.

Although divorce is touted as the latest and greatest way to dissolve a marital relationship, one must consider the consequences of divorce. How will divorce affect you financially?  How will divorce affect your child or children?  Last, will divorce actually relieve you from paying alimony, child support and liabilities?  

Sometimes the grass isn't greener and divorce can have devastating consequences that will affect you for years to come.  

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Will Credit be Damaged From Divorce

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Will your credit be damaged due to a divorce?  Will you be responsible for credit cards or loans that are in both names?  If you wait until your day in divorce court, you may have a rude awakening – divorce doesn’t relieve you of financial obligations incurred during the marriage.

If the home is in both of your names and one party gets to live in the home, this doesn’t relieve you of liability – this is one reason if possible selling the home is the best way to protect yourself from this obligation.

If credit cards are in both names,  the credit card company can and will come after both parties if they’re delinquent on payments.  It would be a good idea to pay off credit cards and cancel them removing your name once again from a future unnecessary expense.  Meanwhile if divorce is imminent one or both parties can continue using credit cards etc., which can be an astronomical amount of money over a period of time. 

Divorce will not remove you from your obligations on credit cards – if cards are left in both names one spouse can continue using the card which may be very costly to you.

Both parties are responsible for anything that the marital couple has purchased together with both names on the loan or mortgage.  If you are a co- signer on a purchase made by your soon to be ex and he or she default on payments, you’re next in line to be dunned for the balance due.

 Logically this doesn’t seem fair if one party ends up with the house, car and half of the marital assets that you will be held accountable if mortgages, loan payments or credit cards debts are defaulted on. 

Even before divorce it is advisable to get some legal or financial counseling on any marital obligations which have both names on the loan or mortgage such as vehicles, furniture, air conditioning units, appliances etc.  Just a brief visit with an attorney, tax specialist or counselor may save you money and heartache in the future. The laws of your State will govern your decisions and you’re on a “need to know” basis at this time.

It’s again the old rule “don’t assume” anything when it comes to divorce – if you wait until you get to court the judge’s decision may in fact not be in your favor.  It’s best to get a game plan on your finances now before you get to court.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Consult With a Divorce Attorney

Divorce Attorneys Not Your Enemy 

When divorce seems to be the only option it's important to get mentally organized before filing papers.  Divorce is without a doubt one of the biggest decisions of a lifetime - it will affect you, your future and if children are involved the lives of your children.

Although many contemplating divorce have made a conscious decision to represent themselves or go pro se, because they can't afford legal counsel, they dislike attorneys or believe that they are in the best position to represent themselves. Representing oneself may or may not be a wise decision. Regardless of your reasons that you want to represent yourself, one of the best first decision you can make is to set up a free consultation with a divorce attorney. Get answer to many important questions before filing divorce papers.

There are many family laws concerning divorce that you don't know about and an attorney can help you make a conscious decision about preparing for your divorce. Before setting up an appointment with an attorney, get organized - jot down questions regarding the children.

Inquire about child support, alimony, medical expenses, visitation rights and who may need to file temporary orders so they may be the primary caregiver of the children and remain in the marital home. The children should be your priority so get a clear understanding of how you can get divorced and yet insure the "best interests" of the children.

Next find out about division of marital assets, if you've been married for several years and alot of assets are involved then find out if you should have a 3rd party do an evaluation of the marital property. You may need to know about retirement funds, business assets, personal property or pre nuptial agreement and don't forget hidden assets and debts.

Don't forget health insurance - will you be covered by health insurance during the interim before the divorce is final. If you believe alimony is in order, find out how much you might expect, how child support is figured and inquire about temporary orders before the divorce is final.

Consulting with a qualified attorney before filing for divorce may save you money, time and heartaches later down the road.  Each State has their own family laws and there have been many recent changes in some of the States regarding alimony.

As Always,  

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Divorce - Emotions Dictate Actions

Possibly the biggest mistake made by those contemplating divorce is allowing their emotions to dictate their actions. Contested divorces usually end up in a potentially dangerous roller coaster ride that can and often ends up in a super crash, because one party didn’t have their seat belt on…

It’s human nature to want to punish and pay back your spouse, and that’s exactly the reason so many people settle for detours. Getting a divorce isn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination and you owe it to yourself to slow down and learn what is involved in the divorce process.

Detours like paying $149 bucks for divorce forms that often aren’t approved by your state’s courts or falling for the false information that is offered on going pro se (self - representation.)  Pro se divorce is a tough way to go if you and your spouse can’t agree on child custody, alimony or division of marital assets.

Anger, confusion and the intense desire to take control of one’s life can lead to detours that actually derail your chance to control your destiny. Before heading down the bumpy divorce road, find out what your options are and develop a game plan. 

One of the safest ways to get the correct divorce forms is from your state’s government website. Each state offers a roadmap explaining how to file for divorce. Go to your government website and search for divorce.

Before filing for divorce study your state family laws. Find out what your state’s Statute of Limitations, learn how to legally serve papers on your spouse and verify what family law court will handle your divorce case.  This is just preliminary information, but will prevent many mistakes as you head into the divorce process.

Most of the state government sites give you step by step instruction on filing your papers, answering interrogatories, temporary orders etc. If children are involved, study the information at theses sites on child custody, child support and parenting time. There’s a wealth of knowledge available if you just take the time to study and read it.

Another excellent resource is http://family.findlaw.com/divorce/  this site offers in depth information on family law, divorce, child custody, alimony, division of marital assets and offers the government websites in each state where you can get your divorce forms.

It’s your life, your future and it is possible to experience a favorable decision from the family law judge. Control your emotions, develop a good game plan and be diligent about finding answers to all of your questions. 

As Always,  

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Divorce - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

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The good news is pro se divorce litigants can receive a favorable decision from the family law judge. The bad news is just because you have the right to represent yourself doesn't mean you will win in divorce court. The ugly is strictly this - too many pro se litigants go to court totally unprepared.

The American Bar Association and over 1200 judges that were interviewed say that pro se litigants lose more than they should in divorce cases. So often the pro se litigant doesn't receive a favorable decision from the divorce judge - the ABA explains some of the reasons. 

The American Bar Association says, “Not knowing the legal requirements or procedural rules, omitting important signatures, not following Court schedule, missing deadlines are but a few of the problems that Pro Se litigants experience.” 

The Judges responded by saying, pro se divorce litigants are struggling and often lose more than they should in divorce court.  Statistics also show that a large percentage of pro se litigants leave the courtroom with their bucket half empty. 

A few other problems that weakens a pro se litigants divorce case can't be blamed on the judicial system; (They don't know the Statute of Limitations in their State, (2) They don't know how to fill out interrogatories, and (3) They don't know how to serve papers legally on their spouse. All it takes is a click of the mouse to find the answers on their State's Government website under divorce or family law.

The laws of our land do say one has the right to represent himself, but there are many responsibilities that accompany that law. If you want to receive a favorable decision from the divorce judge, you must be prepared to back up your statements in court with evidence or hard facts. Study family divorce law, build your case and learn courtroom protocol. Pro se litigation seems to be the new fad - but buyer beware.  

Representing yourself requires a lot of hard work. Most State government sites offer workshops and a variety of venues that will assist you in preparing your divorce case. There is a company ( www.caseboss.com) not launched yet that has 30 openings available for those contemplating or going thru divorce. 

They are offering the use of their site free of charge for 1 year, no hidden charges. If you've never had experiencing building or creating a case - send their team an email and they'll be glad to get you started. 

Divorce is tough and pro se litigants have one day in court and a small window of time to present their case to a family law judge. Don’t end up in divorce court with a bunch of lose papers, receipts and sticky notes – build a case that is airtight and strive for a favorable decision from the judge. Quit shuffling thru papers, learn how to organize documents by day, time and subject – learn how to create specific reports, tag information and prepare a strong case.  

Go to www.caseboss.com   the service is free for one year for people contemplating divorce or going through divorce - there's a great team at your fingertips to answer questions and guide you for 1 year.

As Always,
Little Tboca

Pro Se Divorce

Are you contemplating divorce or have you already made the decision to go pro se (Self representation?)

So you’ve made a decision to represent yourself (Pro se) in divorce court. The decision was due to finances, your intense dislike of attorneys or your perception that you are the best person available to represent yourself in divorce court. Statistics show that pro se divorce is the new fad – so it’s your turn to prepare for your day in court.

Statistics also show that a large percentage of pro se litigants leave the courtroom with their bucket half empty. They assumed that because they were representing themselves everyone and his brother would offer a helping hand – wrong, judges don’t have the time to take you by the hand and the court staff isn’t allowed to offer legal advice.

Pro se litigants want their cake and want to eat it too – they don’t want to pay for legal counsel, they don’t want to learn family law rules and procedures and they darn sure aren’t going to take time to attend divorce seminars and workshops that are offered through our judicial system. 

The pro se litigant is flying by the seat of his or her pants and most likely will suffer an unmerciful beating in court – the American Bar Association and over 1200 judges that were interviewed say the pro se litigants lose more than they should in divorce court.

No doubt it makes one feel better if they can blame someone for their shortcomings, but the bottom-line is this – it isn’t the judge’s fault, or the fault of your ex’s legal counsel, nor the judicial system. You didn’t do your homework or prepare a solid case for your day in court.

This information comes from the American Bar Association, “Not knowing the legal requirements or procedural rules, omitting important signatures, not following Court schedule, missing deadlines are but a few of the problems that Pro Se litigants experience.” 

A few other problems that weaken your divorce case is not knowing the Statute of Limitations in your State, not knowing how to fill out interrogatories, not knowing how to serve papers legally on your spouse and the pre-conceived idea that everyone owes you a handout.

Divorce is tough, one day in court and a small window of time to present your case to a family law judge. Don’t end up in divorce court with a bunch of lose papers, receipts and sticky notes – build a case that is airtight and strive for a favorable decision from the judge.  Go to www.caseboss.com – there isn’t any charge and you have a great team at your fingertips to answer questions and guide people for 1 year.

Quit shuffling thru papers, learn how to organize documents by day, time and subject – learn how to create specific reports, tag information and prepare a strong case.  

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Treat the Judge With Respect

Judges are human, have feelings and need a little coddling now and then.  They don’t like their courtroom in disarray with spouses acting like hyenas in for the kill.  Nor do they like litigants who come to court expecting a “pitty party.” 

The judge has a very small window of time to hear your divorce and make his or her decision. Without realizing it, what you do and how you act in court impacts your case. 

For the women, if you’re dressed like a hooker don’t expect any special favors from the judge, this is especially true if there are children involved.  In fact you’ve already shown disrespect for the judge in his or her courtroom.

Same things goes for the men, arriving in court dressed like Fred Flintstone, looking like you’ve just crawled out of bed probably will get you a couple of bad dings before divorce proceedings start.

The judge is very perceptive and your body language can be extremely disruptive if you’re shaking your head, pointing your finger or shooting daggers at your soon to be ex. The judge has a job to do - speak when spoken to and don’t turn the courtroom into a backyard brawl.

The fact that two people are appearing before a divorce judge probably means that the divorce is contested and very little is agreed upon – so do yourself a favor and follow the family law rules courtroom etiquette.   

The judge has your future in his or her hands. What does coddling the judge mean? It merely means that one should act respectful and behave appropriately in his or hers courtroom.  Your demeanor and actions in court will affect the judge’s final decision.

Refer to the judge as “your honor” not Judge Wilson, talk to the judge not to the soon to be ex or his or her attorney.  Give special attention to your attire and body language. Never argue with the judge – present a strong case in court with verified proof of bills you have paid, parenting of the children including time spent with children, additional expenses since filing for divorce etc… 

When speaking to the judge, always include the spouse saying our children, our liabilities, our assets and our relationship. Give the judge the necessary tools to grant you a favorable decision – leave emotions out of the courtroom.  Stay on task – your job is to get a favorable decision from the judge.  Don’t play Russian roulette in the courtroom!  www.caseboss.com

As Always,

Little Tboca   

Flying Solo - Pro Se Divorce

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When a divorce is contested by a spouse, usually the fight is on and battle has been declared. Whether you are flying solo and representing yourself as a pro se litigant or you have legal council there are some very important things to remember.

Preparing yourself for that brief visit in the Courtroom in front of the divorce judge who is a total stranger who literally has your life in his or her hands requires time, energy and dedication.  

Just because you’ve hired legal council doesn’t insure a positive outcome in the courtroom. If you’re too busy to team up with your attorney, your day in court will probably be disastrous.

They can’t present a strong case without your assistance – they need organized data and specific information and this requires hours of input on your part.  Eliminating the “he said, she said” factor solidifies a trusting attorney/client relationship and increases the probability of having a winning divorce case. 

If you’re representing yourself as a pro se litigant you’d better plan on hours of sleepless nights as you prepare a powerful case. Ignorance of the judicial system or courtroom procedures is absolutely a non-winner; there’s no excuse for going to court with your pants down. 

Whether you have legal council or you’re a pro se litigant a winning divorce case depends on you and you alone. It’s unfair to blame your attorney if you haven’t responded timely to their requests. It’s unfair to blame  the judge if you haven’t arrived in court prepared.

In a nutshell the burden of proof rests on your shoulders. A judge makes his or her decisions based on information at hand – did you prepare your case like a good detective eliminating the hear say evidence and replacing it with hard facts that gives a judge the informational tools that he or she needs? 

A winning divorce case in the court of law isn’t an accident; it can only be attained by building a strong offense. It takes time, energy and even money sometimes to organize data and create specific reports by day, month or year. There is some great assistance out there for people who are contemplating or in the process of divorce. 

Go to www.caseboss.com and start today building a powerful divorce court for the judge. No hidden charges or unexpected surprises – it’s totally free for one year.  Although they haven’t officially launched their site yet, they’re offering a hand up to men or women. The team is anxious to assist you and will be happy to answer your questions.    

As Always,

Little Tboca

Foster Parents Special People

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Let’s talk to parents who love children, aren’t contemplating divorce and are a little curious about foster care.  Do you love to give a hand up, mentor, train and love having young ones hanging out in your home?

Most States will allow single parents or couples to care for foster children, but some states will not allow an unmarried couple to take on the job of being a foster parent. Here are a few requirements before thinking about a foster home - if you’ve had a felony then don’t even bother at this time or at least verify this information through your State.

Must be 21 or older and agree to attend parenting classes. Should have a regular income, foster parents may work a regular job, but must insure the child has proper daycare. You will be contacted and home assessed along with every family member. 

A big home isn’t of great concern and your income should be enough to care take care of your personal expenses. There are Federal funds available if you qualify, but you must have other income too, the money is for the children not one’s personal needs. 

Usually foster children do receive a Medicaid card, which helps on health care.  Bottom line is this: only volunteer to be a foster parent, because you love children and have the time and desire to welcome a little stranger into your house. 

Remember if you qualify for parenting, the children may be removed from your home in days or a few months. There is a federal law that insists States try to place that child in a permanent home if possible – maybe family members or adoption, because they feel that is in the “best interest” of the child. Can you gracefully and lovingly give up that child or children to a permanent home?

Don’t take on foster parenting if you’re doing to it for financial reasons!  A foster parent can be a very special person in a child’s life – best not to make a snap decision, study all of the laws on foster homes and parenting in your State.  

As Always,

Little Tboca

Waiting Period Before Divorce is Finalized

Waiting Period Before Divorce

27 States want those contemplating divorce to do a little soul searching and take a bit of time before filing for divorce. 

These States have made it a law that prior to divorce couples must attend a class which usually discusses the best interest of the children, leaving children out of the divorce, reconciliation, finances etc…

Other States are considering implementing a law stating that the divorce waiting period will be extended to 6 months and sometimes more.  

The idea or philosophy behind this type of legislation is this: divorce has been advertised as the latest and greatest invention since Spock said set the kids free. Contrary to that type of false advertising many times divorce is devastating to both parties. 

By extending the waiting period it offers an adequate amount of time for those who might consider counseling, arbitration or just a flat cooling off period for a married couple giving them time to analyze the pros and cons of divorce.

Word of caution, if you live in the Salt Lake City area be prepared to attend 2 hour, $ 55 dollar seminar before a judge will finalize a divorce.  This law isn’t etched in stone yet, but many who support this law would like to help couples save their marriage if possible.  

This type law isn’t new to Utah; they had a similar one back in 1994. All 48 States have similar classes available, but 21 States it’s optional.

In many respects trying to get those contemplating divorce to attend classes is an exceptional idea.  There are so many things that may come up during divorce proceedings and this is merely a way to pave the way (especially for first time divorcees. 

Maybe you haven’t reviewed your divorce forms yet, but do you know how to request temporary custody of the children, temporary alimony, fill out interrogatories, serve papers on a spouse, courtroom protocol, taxs, division of assets etc. 

If the one expected to pay child support and/or alimony too, it might be very important to find out what a judge’s decision might be because if there aren’t any funds available due to lack of employment this throws a whole different light on a final divorce decision.  Even if the spouse paying child support and alimony from his or her unemployment check – remember that check will at some time be a thing of the past.

Many times I’ve mentioned that 2013 & 2014 are going to be tough times for those contemplating divorce.  Health insurance (Obamacare,) part-time jobs are quite popular now, unemployment checks may not come close to covering the normal child support and/or alimony payments.

It’s the many unknowns that will bite you in the fanny – if you’re a gambler then best of luck, but if there isn’t abuse or addiction in your marriage, maybe a free consultation with an attorney or some counseling might be perfect for you at this time. 

As Always,

Little Tboca