Children a Priority in Divorce

Family law judges and divorce attorneys will say the best interest of the children is a priority in a divorce case. It’s not a secret that most family law judges make children their priority when handing down their final divorce decision.  

If you are a pro se litigant you’re filing or have filed for divorce, understand that the children come first in most divorces. 

Obviously family law judges should make final divorce decisions for both parties by determining what the “best interest" for the child or children.”  

But, the laws of our land serve as guidelines and some judges take it upon themselves to step outside of this window which at times isn’t in the “best interest” of the children. 

Here is an example of the "best interests" of the children written by an outstanding judge’s judge now retired.  Her history on the bench will show that the children came first when making final divorce decisions.  Judge Ann Kass said the “best interests” of children had many meanings and she took all precautions when children were involved in divorce.  

http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/kass2.html

Prepare your case for your day in court, but be sure you make the children your priority.  What is truly best for the child or children - who has been the primary caregiver?  Which parent has the time and desire to put the children first? What are the wishes of the children?  Are both parents emotionally stable and capable of mentoring and raising the children, if so joint custody is an excellent choice? 

Here is an excellent site that discusses children, parenting and divorce.  http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/children-and-divorce-221.shtml

It was one of those ridiculous arrangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced—when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination. ~ John Irving

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Children - Priority for Divorce Judge

Family law judges and divorce attorneys will say the best interest of the children is a priority in a divorce case. It’s not a secret that most family law judges make children their priority when handing down their final divorce decision.  

If you are a pro se litigant you’re filing or have filed for divorce, understand that the children come first in most divorces. 

Obviously family law judges should make final divorce decisions for both parties by determining what the “best interest" for the child or children.”  

But, the laws of our land serve as guidelines and some judges take it upon themselves to step outside of this window which at times isn’t in the “best interest” of the children. 

Here is an example of the "best interests" of the children written by an outstanding judge’s judge now retired.  Her history on the bench will show that the children came first when making final divorce decisions.  Judge Ann Kass said the “best interests” of children had many meanings and she took all precautions when children were involved in divorce.  

http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/kass2.html

Prepare your case for your day in court, but be sure you make the children your priority.  What is truly best for the child or children - who has been the primary caregiver?  Which parent has the time and desire to put the children first? What are the wishes of the children?  Are both parents emotionally stable and capable of mentoring and raising the children, if so joint custody is an excellent choice? 

Here is an excellent site that discusses children, parenting and divorce.  http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/children-and-divorce-221.shtml

It was one of those ridiculous arrangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced—when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination. ~ John Irving

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Temporary Custody of Children

If at the time of the temporary divorce hearing you are granted temporary custody of the children, child support, alimony and granted the right to live in the marital home until the divorce is final, remember the word “temporary.” 

 Don’t traipse out of divorce court thinking you’re about to slam dunk your spouse, because the family law judge granted you temporary custody of the children.

How you behave and handle the temporary orders will affect the judge’s final decision. Buyer beware - these orders by the divorce judge aren’t indicative of his or her final decision in court. Usually a divorce attorney will discuss temporary custody - the orders are for a limited amount of time only. 

If you become over zealous and get in a pay back mode, your king or queen for a day mode will come crashing down.  Don’t take unfair advantage of your spouse by running up excessive credit card charges, or neglecting your responsibilities in maintaining the marital residence.  Family law judges will take your behavior into consideration when granting a divorce. 

Denying your spouse visitation rights won’t just get your fingers burnt – it may be the reason the judge changes the custody orders.  You should encourage visitation rights with your spouse and definitely shouldn’t use the children as pawns to punish the other parent.

This is a time when you better take a deep breath and follow the temporary orders granted to you – ditch the anger and emotion. The judge didn’t give you a free pass to be abusive of your spouse.  

Don’t get on the social media and brag about the judge’s orders. Don’t assume that you’re home free – your day in court hasn’t arrived yet and what you do or say will be held against you.

Temporary means during the interim, nothing is etched in concrete. A family law judge will decide what is in the “best interest” of the children and if you’ve acted like a knuckle head during this time, there’s a strong probability that you will walk out of court very displeased with the judge’s final orders.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce Judge "Tiger or Pussycat"

Those going through divorce have a plateful, in fact it’s more like a tubful of do’s and don’ts.  If you’re going it alone (pro se,) here’s one more thought to fill your already cluttered mind. Do you know who your judge will be for your day in court?  Do you know how he or she controls the courtroom?  Don’t assume that just because you’re a good person – it will be smooth sailing in the courtroom. 

Are you going in front of a pussycat who wants both litigants to live happily ever after – if so he or she will probably slices the pie right down the middle. The pussy cat thinks it takes two to tango and strives to satisfy both parties.  He’s pleasant and provides a comfortable atmosphere in the courtroom – definitely not power driven!  

What if you find yourself in front of a legal eagle “owl” that follows family law statutes by the book?  He or she won’t budge and a pitty party may give the impression that you’re begging for mercy - that doesn’t sit well with the ole owl. Don’t take it personally, but he won’t budge and you’re about to have the family law book thrown at you.

Then again you may find yourself in front the no nonsense “tiger” and he or she pretty much considers the “he said, she said” testimony as crap and dives for the heart of the divorce.  Children are his or her priority and he’ll do whatever it takes to insure that the children get the best piece of the pie. He is well versed in family law and very capable of making tough decisions when necessary. This judge deserves a big thank you, because he’s honest, knowledgeable and the children are his priority.

No doubt there are a few family law judges who enjoy putting the squeeze on both parties. He or she basks in the power they possess in the courtroom - there won’t be any doubt in your mind that they are in control. Speak only when spoken to and don’t expect any favors.  Whatever you do don’t cross this person because he or she has your future in their hands!

 This article is based on personal experience and each judge has a name – cover your bet by preparing a powerful case for court and knowing your judge’s courtroom DNA. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Best Interest of the Children - Divorce

Best Interest of the Children

The “Best Interest of the Children” is a phrase worth remembering.  If your divorce is being contested, the judge may be the one who has to make the final custody decisions.  The priority of most family law judges is the children, because technically they are acting as a liaison for the children.  Thank goodness divorce judges put the children first.

If the parents can work out the custody situation together actually thinking about the best interest of their child or children, it can be a win win situation for both parents and the children.

When both parents have been equal or almost equal caregivers, possibly joint custody would be a good choice. This allows parents to make decisions for the children on education, health, extra curricular activities, religion etc. Joint custody does appear best for the parents and/or children - when the children are shuffled back from one home to the other it may be a hard adjustment for the children to make.

Judges will delve into the joint custody issue, because he or she wants to feel that both parents are accountable, responsible and capable of making decisions together in the best interest of the child or children.  It’s a difficult call for a judge, because they are trying to decide if both parents are equal in their parenting capabilities and if both parents can work as a team to mentor, love and care for the little ones. 

Physical custody and legal custody are often intertwined.  The physical piece of this type custody means the child will live with one parent the majority of the time. This parent is considered the “custodial parent.”

The non custodial parent may be granted physical custody which means he or she will be a decision maker in important issues like health, education and religion etc.

With unmarried parents, laws in most states favor giving the mother sole custody if in fact she has demonstrated that she is a good parent. If the mother is unable to care for the child, the other parent (father) usually gets custody.

Family law judges get beaten up for making the tough custody decisions, but remember they consider the child first and what is in the “best interest of the child.”  

Custody of the children is the toughest decision family law judges must make, because sometimes it seems both parents have shared equal responsibility in rearing the children.  At times when the child or children are older the judge may talk with them and ask them their preferences. 

It is a good idea to check out your state’s family laws specifically the child custody laws regarding primary caregivers. Both parents should try to make the best choice for the children and not use the children as pawns in their divorce.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Will You Lose Your Divorce Case?

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You're contemplating divorce and about to lose your case in court! How to lose your divorce and receive an unfavorable decision from the family law judge.  It's true that some divorce litigants just can't keep their emotions in tact and they've decided to re-invent the family laws in their State. So having said that - are you losing your divorce due to lack of knowledge, uncontrolled emotions and the gnawing desire to be the winner and punish your soon to be ex.

When one decides to take the law in their own hands, they will not just stub a toe or get their hands smacked  by a family law judge they are insuring that their future will be mighty bleak and without recourse. Don't fall into the unknown black divorce pit where there's no possible way to recover from your bad decisions.

Suppose you and your spouse have been having marital problems for years and finally you come to the conclusion that divorce is the only answer. Before talking with your marriage partner about divorce, you quietly and methodically create what you think is a winning chess game.

Since you are the financial genius in the relationship, you have access to savings and investments allowing you to transfer, hide and rearrange marital assets. You start skimming from the savings, bank accounts and other funds without detection.

Next you decide to move out of the marital home - you tell your spouse the move is better for both of you. Remember, you will owe rent on another place and actually still have responsibilities for maintaining the other household.  Moving out means one thing - you will have more expenses and once out of the house the soon to be ex isn't going to welcome you back in your home again.

Lord forbid if you are so out of control that you threaten or abuse your spouse. This can become a slam dunk for the ex when you land in divorce court. Judges frown on threats and physical abuse.

Don't use the social media as a place to air all of your dirty laundry, because your ex's attorney will use this as proof that you are an unfit parent or irresponsible party. What you say on the social media can and will be held against you...

Maybe you're in a payback mode and you want to flaunt your new girlfriend or boyfriend in front of your spouse and children. If you've bought this new playmate expensive jewelry, clothes or have taken them on luxurious vacations, you're going to rue the day that you felt so superior and in control.

Dress appropriately for divorce court, treat the judge with respect referring to him as your honor and when speaking about the children or assets be sure to clarify the statements by saying our children, our home, our assets etc.  Don't make faces at your soon to be ex or their attorney and don't set their shaking your head or pointing your finger at them.

Your future lays in the hands of the family law judge - conduct and demeanor will all have an impact on the judges final decisions. Don't try to reinvent the family laws in your State - be honest when you fill out the divorce forms and include everything that you and your spouse have mutually.

As Always,
Little Tboca

Are You a Team Player With Your Attorney?

Although divorce attorneys have acquired a lot of negative publicity, the fact remains there are many great divorce attorneys who are prepared to represent you in good faith.  

Theirs is a profession just like any other and it’s their livelihood, of course there are charges for the service they offer. Like physicians they have a high overhead and must pay the monthly bills. Divorce isn't a free commodity!

Do your homework find a list of attorneys who have a good divorce track record, select one from that list and set up a preliminary consultation.  Normally there isn’t any charge to this first meeting – so go prepared with questions that need answered. Ask what the hourly charges are, how much if any deposit required and set up a feasible schedule limiting office visits, telephone calls etc. 

Take control of the attorney/client relationship – it’s not fun to be blindsided with unnecessary attorney fees. Your attorney will be the first one to emphasize the importance of working together as a team – even a good attorney can’t go it alone so be prepared to participate in the partnership.

Difficulties that arise due to a divorce litigants false expectations include; (1) Because you’ve been a good parent and good provider you expect a favorable decision by the judge, (2) Because you have been the main breadwinner, you feel that most of or a large portion of the marital assets should be yours, (3) You expect the attorney to win your case regardless of family law or the many errors you’ve made during the marriage, (4) You decide in your mind what is morally correct and expect a favorable decision from the judge based on your moral perception.

False expectations immediately create a tension between attorney and client.  The attorney needs all information regarding marital assets, child care, participation with child or children, financial obligations, pre nuptial contract if any, retirement funds or savings etc. Give the attorney all information concerning the marital relationship. Paint a detailed picture of the marriage including all documents showing paid receipts, time, date and resolution.

Don’t misrepresent or lie to your attorney - lies can be the reason for an unfavorable decision from the divorce judge.  Team work equates to this – you give your attorneys the tools that he or she needs to build a winning case in court.  An attorney needs proof, not a bunch of “he said, she said,” gibberish.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

No One Can Predict What Will Happen in Divorce Court

Divorce forms have been completed, interrogatories answered and each spouse is anxiously waiting for their day in court assuming the judge's decision will be in their favor.

Divorce decisions by the judge at times may seem unfair. It's a balancing act for family law judges - their goal is to divide marital assets fairly. This doesn't necessarily equate to an equal dollar and cents division of marital assets.

Problems arise when spouses can't seem to agree on anything especially the division of marital assets - each one for whatever reason feels they should receive the lion's share. The one wanting the big hunk feels he or she has been the biggest contributor to the marriage and therefore should get the biggest piece of the cake. They have launched a business successfully, bought their partner very expensive gifts and pretty much been the big bread winner during the marriage.

Normally property or an inheritance belonging to one spouse prior to the marriage will not be subject to division by the court unless in a moment of weakness  title or ownership was given to the other spouse. If this happens these assets will be tossed into the big marital asset bucket to be divided by the judge.

Judges would love to just take every itemized asset and divide it equally between husband and wife, but there are other considerations that he or she must factor into the formula. The parent who is the primary caregiver of the children will probably need the marital home. Health, age, special needs of one party and length of the marriage will be factored into his or her final decision.

Most judges feel the spouse who contributed to their partner's education or helped build the family business - deserves compensation. There remains a big difference between the two words fair and equal!

The family law judge attempts to divide marital assets fairly, but that certainly doesn't always mean equally. Usually when the divorce is contested and the couple has accumulated a lot of marital assets, someone is going to walk out of court feeling the world is against them.

In fact they'll feel abused, misused and be angrier than h---. Before this happens consider talking to a financial planner, tax attorney or have a consult with a divorce attorney.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Divorce - Pro Se Litigants 3 Major Errors

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For those contemplating divorce, before jumping into the lion's den proceed with caution.  If your divorce is contested and includes children you want to take some time doing a little investigative research.

The three errors that will darn sure get you in hot water.
1.  Wrong divorce forms are used
2.  Failure to complete or fill out divorce forms correctly
3.  Assuming that the divorce judge is a mind reader and capable of filling in the missing puzzles.

Many times anger and emotion dictates one's action and that can be the very reason that the family law judge passes down an unfavorable decision. The States vary in their family law rules and jumping online and grabbing the wrong divorce forms can be disastrous. Many online sites think one shoe fits all and shoots you the wrong divorce forms for your State.

Assuming you have the correct divorce forms, do you know how to ask for temporary orders during the interim before the divorce is final?  Do you know how to fill out interrogatories?  Do you know the Statute of Limitations in your State?  Do you know how to serve your soon to be ex with divorce papers?  Failure to do any of the above correctly will either get your case kicked out of court or may result in very unfavorable decisions by the divorce judge.

The divorce judge isn't a mind reader, nor does he or she have the time to try to find all of the missing pieces to your divorce puzzle. Have you created a strong divorce case for the court and eliminated the "He said, She said" testimony?

Here's an idea that will save you heartache, confusion and give you a road map for filing divorce papers.  I'm using Arizona as an example. Put Az.gov in the browser, which pulls up the home site then put family law in the search box which takes you to a site that offers the Arizona Family Law information.  At this point search for divorce and read everything before downloading any divorce forms.

All State Governments offer similar information and this is probably the most reliable source if filing for divorce without legal counsel. If you are representing yourself (pro se), this is time well spent. I have written articles on the major errors of those contemplating divorce a jillion times, but almost 75% of pro se litigants are still losing their in court, because they didn't know courtroom protocol or family law rules in their State.

It's so unfair to see so many articles that actually aren't enabling the pro se litigants - so many times these articles actually demoralize, pitty and give the pro se litigant excuses for their struggles in the courtroom. Not taking the time to learn your State Laws or learn the correct way to fill out divorce forms is a feeble excuse - you have the right to represent yourself, but you also have the responsibility of learning how to do this correctly.

This article wasn't written to be brutal or beat up pro se litigants, but it's about being responsible, engaged and equipping oneself with the information that is available. All States have workshops and venues established to help the pro se litigants and all State Governments offer information on family law and divorce.

As Always,
Little Tboca

Difference in a Powerful Divorce Case & "He said, she Said"

So often unfavorable decisions occur because litigants depend on "he said, she said" evidence. It takes proof or hard facts backed by time, place and occurrence to prepare a divorce case for court.

Don't assume that just because you're a "good person" the family law judge will make a favorable decision in your behalf.

Here's is a new company almost ready to launch who is offering free assistance and support for those contemplating or going thru divorce. It takes time and hard work to prepare a powerful divorce case for court - your goal is to eliminate the "he said, she said" testimony and replace it with actual proof.  Learn how to organize documents by date, time, subject - this is your life, your future and you have one day in court, one small window of time to present a strong divorce case.

There's several openings left - support for one year, no fees or hidden gimmicks.

www.caseboss.com  

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Divorce - Put on Your Big Boy and Girl Pants

To all pro se divorce litigants, don't fall into the false trap of being victimized by propaganda and false information. 

Put on on your big boy and girl pants and create a divorce case that will receive a favorable decision from the family law judge. First and foremost, don't sink into the pits of the "blame game" - it's not healthy and you're defeated before you start.   

Why are pro se divorce litigants blaming others for there mistakes? Although pro se (self representation) is the new fad on the street for divorce, it’s not a free “get out of marriage” card.  There’s much to do about nothing – it isn’t the court’s fault or the family law judge’s problem nor can the blame be on your ex who has legal counsel

The laws of our land give each and every person the right to represent themselves, but along with this right come a jillion responsibilities.  Yes, by representing oneself you won’t have to pay for legal counsel - maybe you can’t afford a lawyer or possibly you just feel empowered by being given the legal right to represent yourself. 

Over 50% of the pro se divorce litigants can’t afford legal counsel but they can take the time to attend the workshops and venues offered by their State that will assist them in preparing for their divorce.

It’s inexcusable to omit signatures, miss timelines and neglect filling out interrogatories correctly. Some pro se litigants even fill out the incorrect divorce forms and this may be the fault of some Internet sites that have sold them the wrong divorce forms. Divorce forms vary from State to State – be sure you get the correct forms.

Before jumping on the divorce train, it’s crucial that you study the family laws in your State, know the statute of limitations, courtroom etiquette and learn how to prepare a divorce case.  As said earlier, you have the right to represent yourself, but you also have the responsibility of learning what that right actually entails.

Take advantage of your State venues that offer divorce assistance. Read the family laws in your State, know the Statute of Limitations, learn how to fill out interrogatories and be sure you use the correct divorce forms, which each State offers online. Learn how to prepare a powerful divorce case.  

Quit the blame game: (1) The divorce judge isn’t your legal counsel, (2) The court staff is not allowed to fill out forms for you, per law, and (3) The courts are already clogged – you don’t get 2 or 3 re-dos.  Representing oneself is difficult, but doable if you’re willing to roll up your sleeves and do the homework. 

You have one day in court, one small window of time to be heard by a family law judge and going half prepared isn’t an excuse anymore. Reading, studying and attending workshops doesn’t cost a thing – use the many resources offered to you and walk out of divorce court with a favorable decision in your behalf. 

 

As Always, 

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Temporary Divorce Hearing

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If at the time of the temporary divorce hearing you are granted temporary custody of the children, child support, alimony and granted the right to live in the marital home until the divorce is final, remember the word “temporary.” 

 Don’t traipse out of divorce court thinking you’re about to slam dunk your spouse, because the family law judge granted you temporary custody of the children.

How you behave and handle the temporary orders will affect the judge’s final decision. Buyer beware - these orders by the divorce judge aren’t indicative of his or her final decision in court. Usually a divorce attorney will discuss temporary custody - the orders are for a limited amount of time only. 

If you become over zealous and get in a pay back mode, your king or queen for a day mode will come crashing down.  Don’t take unfair advantage of your spouse by running up excessive credit card charges, or neglecting your responsibilities in maintaining the marital residence.  Family law judges will take your behavior into consideration when granting a divorce.

Denying your spouse visitation rights won’t just get your fingers burnt – it may be the reason the judge changes the custody orders.  You should encourage visitation rights with your spouse and definitely shouldn’t use the children as pawns to punish the other parent.

This is a time when you better take a deep breath and follow the temporary orders granted to you – ditch the anger and emotion. The judge didn’t give you a free pass to be abusive of your spouse.  

Don’t get on the social media and brag about the judge’s orders. Don’t assume that you’re home free – your day in court hasn’t arrived yet and what you do or say will be held against you.

Temporary means during the interim, nothing is etched in concrete. A family law judge will decide what is in the “best interest” of the children and if you’ve acted like a knuckle head during this time, there’s a strong probability that you will walk out of court very displeased with the judge’s final orders.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce Without a Parenting Plan is Disastrous

Do it yourself divorce can become very complicated if there are children involved. Here’s one more thing on your plate that is something both parents need to create before arriving in divorce court.

When contemplating divorce, possibly one of the first issues to consider is a parenting plan. Do you have a parenting plan or are you just going to slide into divorce court hoping all decisions by the family law judge will be in your favor.

Without a parenting plant the family law judge is left to clean up the parenting mess, because parents can’t reach an agreement. Child custody is a critical issue of divorce and without a doubt one of the most contentious matters in the family law court.

The family law judge makes decision based on the “best interest” of the children. If both parents can lay aside the marital disagreements briefly and work together creating a parenting plan that specifically supports the child or children emotionally and physically it can be a win win situation for parents and children.

If one parent is seeking sole custody of the children, he or she must provide evidence or information showing the other parent as unfit. Sole custody is often granted if one spouse has a criminal history, abusive or addicted to drugs or alcohol. Sole custody is granted at times, but not without substantial proof that one parent hasn’t been involved in parenting or is incapable due to personal issues to be a substantial parent.   

If one parent is granted sole legal custody they make decisions about education, health and well being of the child or children and can make decisions about the faith environment they will be raised in…

Joint custody is just what it sounds like, both parents work together making decision in the best interest of their children. Physical custody refers to the amount of time each parent has with the children – most parents can create a feasible plan including the handling of holidays, summer vacation and time spent with each parent. 

Bottom line is this, if father and mother can’t agree on the custody issues, the Judge must intervene and decide custody based on the “best interest” of the children. 

Divorce is super charged with emotion, anger and often times the intense desire of one or both spouses to punish each other. Parents should attempt to be rational about custody of the children and present a parenting plan to the judge that is in the “best interest” of the children.  Without a parenting plan both parties are at the mercy of the court and the judge will be the final decision maker. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Don't P--s Off a Divorce Judge

Divorce judges are human, have feelings and need a little coddling now and then.  They don’t like their courtroom in disarray with spouses acting like hyenas in for the kill.  Nor do they like litigants who come to court expecting a “pitty party.” 

The judge has a very small window of time to hear your divorce and make his or her decision. Without realizing it, what you do and how you act in court impacts your case. 

For the women, if you’re dressed like a hooker don’t expect any special favors from the judge, this is especially true if there are children involved.  In fact you’ve already shown disrespect for the judge in his or her courtroom.

Same things goes for the men, arriving in court dressed like Fred Flintstone, looking like you’ve just crawled out of bed probably will get you a couple of bad dings before divorce proceedings start.

The judge is very perceptive and your body language can be extremely disruptive if you’re shaking your head, pointing your finger or shooting daggers at your soon to be ex.  The judge has a job to do - speak when spoken to and don’t turn the courtroom into a backyard brawl.

The fact that two people are appearing before a divorce judge probably means that the divorce is contested and very little is agreed upon – so do yourself a favor and follow the family law rules courtroom etiquette.   

The judge has your future in his or her hands. What does coddling the judge mean? It merely means that one should act respectful and behave appropriately in his or hers courtroom.  Your demeanor and actions in court will affect the judge’s final decision.

Refer to the judge as “your honor” not Judge Wilson, talk to the judge not to the soon to be ex or his or her attorney.  Give special attention to your attire and body language.  Never argue with the judge – present a strong case in court with verified proof of bills you have paid, parenting of the children including time spent with children, additional expenses since filing for divorce etc… 

When speaking to the judge, always include the spouse saying our children, our liabilities, our assets and our relationship. Give the judge the necessary tools to grant you a favorable decision – leave emotions out of the courtroom.  Stay on task – your job is to get a favorable decision from the judge.  Don’t play Russian roulette in the courtroom!

As Always,

Little Tboca     

www.caseboss.com

Can You Appeal Your Divorce Case

The answer is yes, but you must be able to prove that the family law judge actually erred when making final conclusions about your divorce.  If the judge based his or her decisions on information based facts  that were presented during the divorce trial, than it’s unlikely that an appeal questioning the final orders by the judge will hold water.

So often an appeal is made due to the division of marital assets – a spouse feels he or should have a larger portion of the pie – usually in the end the judge after careful deliberation divided the assets in a fair and unbiased manner.  Remember each State has a formula for figuring child support and a tentative guideline regarding alimony, child custody and division of marital assets.

There are many variables to consider and no doubt family law judges are in error some of the time, but before having your attorney appeal the judge’s decision read your family laws and be sure that you actually have a valid reason to appeal the decision.

 

If one spouse has been the primary caregiver, stayed at home to raise the children, helped the other spouse start a business or helped them through college it’s pretty much a given that the judge will take all of this into consideration.

Usually child custody is decided in the “best interest “of the children and the family law judge definitely wants to make decisions that will benefit the children.  True, you may have a  high powered job and make a better than average salary, but that doesn’t mean you’re the best choice to take care of the children.

If the judge had hard evidence or factual evidence during the trial, he or she based the final decisions upon the evidence presented.  The appellate court which will address your appeal isn’t going to listen to new testimony or question witnesses. Their job is to verify if the divorce judge actually  made an error when handing down his/her final decision.

Normally the appellate process is long and drawn out taking several years when making a decision over child custody – be prepared to pay a lot of money in attorney fees without any guarantees that you will win the appeal.

Even if you have legal counsel study the family laws in your State – find out how child custody, child support, alimony and division of marital assets are determined.  If you want a big hunk of a retirement fund, or sole custody of the children or a large alimony payment than be prepared to show the family law judge factual information that proves beyond a doubt that you warrant a big piece of the pie.

Many states are changing the alimony laws, which are old relics and need to be updated – alimony for a lifetime is being removed from family law in many States.  Often times fathers are getting the tip of the hat when it comes to child custody.  Times have changed and the recession changes the information that the divorce judge will receive.  Many are without jobs or receiving unemployment, food stamps or some type of Government assistance and they don’t have any pie to share with anyone.

Divorce in 2013 may prove to be extremely difficult when both parents are without a job or have lost their homes and vehicles. 

www.caseboss.com

As Always,

Little Tboca

Parents Who Agree on Child Custody Prior to Divorce

Child custody is a tough issue for parents to resolve. Sometimes if they can remove their personal anger and emotions from the mix a decision an agreeable decision can be made by both parents. Deciding what is in the "best interest" of the child or children before your divorce is without a doubt the best route to take unless there is abuse, neglect or addiction present with one or both spouses.

Often times one parent has been the primary caregiver of the children during the marriage and the child or children depend solely upon that parent for comforting and caring for them. Taking the children away from this person is a devastating experience for a child and totally unnecessary if both parents work out a plan together to make decisions that are in the "best interest" of the children.  

By working out a child custody plan in advance, the family law judge realizes that both parents are looking out for their children. Personal issues have been laid aside and the parents have come to a reasonable agreement - this pleases the judge and he or she usually takes this plan into consideration. 

The most difficult part of a divorce for the judge is the child custody issue.  If the divorce is contentious and both parties are using the children as pawns, the judge must follow the family laws and do what is best for the children. 

If there were a perfect picture for the child custody issue, it would be when both parents want to be caregivers and make the important decisions on health, schooling, education, extra curricular activities etc. Joint custody or shared custody may be good options and this depends upon the parents being able to agree what is best for their child or children.

Joint custody entails the tasks and responsibilities each parent is capable of giving to their children. This usually means that one parent may have more physical time with the children, but the children still get to interact with both parents on a regular basis.

Shared custody in a nutshell is just that - both parents share an equal amount of time with the children. Usually with good parents this type of custody is less disruptive for the children. 

But the good thing is this - if parents can decide upon a feasible parenting plan for the children, the family law judge will definitely go along with the parent's decision. The divorce judge is the "liaison" for the children and he or she places the children at the top of their priorities. Don't mess with the judge when it comes to the "best interest" of the children!

Divorce is a devastating and fracturing experience to children and often times it scars them for the rest of their lives. Each parent is to be commended if he or she consider the children first when contemplating or going through divorce. This isn't a dollar and cents issue - do what is best for the children. Time is the most precious gift that one can give to their children.  

Children need your presence or time, not lavish gifts.  

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce – Best Interest of the Children

Family law judges and divorce attorneys will say the best interest of the children is a priority in a divorce case. It’s not a secret that most family law judges make children their priority when handing down their final divorce decision.  

If you are a pro se litigant you’re filing or have filed for divorce, understand that the children come first in most divorces. 

Obviously family law judges should make final divorce decisions for both parties by determining what the “best interest" for the child or children.”  

But, the laws of our land serve as guidelines and some judges take it upon themselves to step outside of this window which at times isn’t in the “best interest” of the children. 

Here is an example of the "best interests" of the children written by an outstanding judge’s judge now retired.  Her history on the bench will show that the children came first when making final divorce decisions.  Judge Ann Kass said the “best interests” of children had many meanings and she took all precautions when children were involved in divorce.  

http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/kass2.html

Prepare your case for your day in court, but be sure you make the children your priority.  What is truly best for the child or children - who has been the primary caregiver?  Which parent has the time and desire to put the children first? What are the wishes of the children?  Are both parents emotionally stable and capable of mentoring and raising the children, if so joint custody is an excellent choice? 

Here is an excellent site that discusses children, parenting and divorce.  http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/children-and-divorce-221.shtml

It was one of those ridiculous arrangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced—when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination. ~ John Irving

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce – 2013 Divorce Rates Explode

Baby boomers are becoming frequent flyers in divorce court – even divorce attorneys are surprised and rather confused. One would think that during the recession a couple would want to weather the storm until the economy turns around, but that’s not the case. 

The baby boomers  appear to be reinventing divorce – they’re hell bent on getting out of Dodge with an armload of retirement funds, the house and all that the couple has accumulated over 25 to 30 years.  Family law judges are all ready on overload and many boomers are opting for do it yourself divorce which is stressing family law courts.   

Muslims are reverting to divorce and hot on the boomer’s trail which only makes divorce a much more complex issue.  What are the hot buttons causing the discontent?  What is going on in our USA that is triggering the boomers and Muslims to opt for divorce?

Muslims and boomers are strange bed fellows and no one has a definitive explanation about this divorce phenomena – Muslims and boomers certainly are marching to someone else’s drum as they dash to the family law courts. 

The boomers are suffering from their decision to get a divorce; many are dipping into their retirement funds to pay daily expenses. Assets are divided leaving each party with some money, but they would have more to share as a couple.  When they were married, one spouse usually stayed at home to raise the children (meaning he or she may not have worked outside the home,) so spousal support may be in order.

For the Muslims marriage was Allah’s gift to mankind – the family supposedly should be resilient and thrive on the union of man and women. But, Allah being a wise God knew that not every relationship between man and women would work, so divorce is an option if there’s a valid reason.  Allah frowns on divorce when the married couple doesn’t have a valid reason for parting ways. 

Christian for years didn’t approve or support divorce but the norm has changed for them too – although most Christians have a difficult time accepting divorce they are much more tolerant than they were 10 or 15 years ago.

http://knowledgebase.findlaw.com/kb/2013/Apr/979275.html

Is it something in the air, the water or does the grass appear greener now to those wanting to dissolve their relationships. Could it be boredom from our high tech society – maybe we’ve become gadget and service poor. 

Or could the state of the nation be the culprit causing the discontentment due to a recession, morality dysfunction, corrupt Government and constant turmoil within our Country?  Maybe people are just on overload with too much to carry on their plates or maybe they’ve lost site of the things that once made our Nation resilient, strong and a safe haven for all. 

As Always,

Little Tboca 

Temporary Orders – Don’t Celebrate Divorce yet

If at the time of the temporary divorce hearing you are granted temporary custody of the children, child support, alimony and granted the right to live in the marital home until the divorce is final, remember the word “temporary.” 

 Don’t traipse out of divorce court thinking you’re about to slam dunk your spouse, because the family law judge granted you temporary custody of the children.

How you behave and handle the temporary orders will affect the judge’s final decision. Buyer beware - these orders by the divorce judge aren’t indicative of his or her final decision in court. Usually a divorce attorney will discuss temporary custody - the orders are for a limited amount of time only. 

If you become over zealous and get in a pay back mode, your king or queen for a day mode will come crashing down.  Don’t take unfair advantage of your spouse by running up excessive credit card charges, or neglecting your responsibilities in maintaining the marital residence.  Family law judges will take your behavior into consideration when granting a divorce. 

Denying your spouse visitation rights won’t just get your fingers burnt – it may be the reason the judge changes the custody orders.  You should encourage visitation rights with your spouse and definitely shouldn’t use the children as pawns to punish the other parent.

This is a time when you better take a deep breath and follow the temporary orders granted to you – ditch the anger and emotion. The judge didn’t give you a free pass to be abusive of your spouse.  

Don’t get on the social media and brag about the judge’s orders. Don’t assume that you’re home free – your day in court hasn’t arrived yet and what you do or say will be held against you.

Temporary means during the interim, nothing is etched in concrete. A family law judge will decide what is in the “best interest” of the children and if you’ve acted like a knuckle head during this time, there’s a strong probability that you will walk out of court very displeased with the judge’s final orders.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce – Do You Have A Parenting Plan?

Do it yourself divorce can become very complicated if there are children involved. Here’s one more thing on your plate that is something both parents need to create before arriving in divorce court. 

Without a parenting plant the family law judge is left to clean up the parenting mess, because parents can’t reach an agreement. Child custody is a critical issue of divorce and without a doubt one of the most contentious matters in the family law court.

The family law judge makes decision based on the “best interest” of the children. If both parents can lay aside the marital disagreements briefly and work together creating a parenting plan that specifically supports the child or children emotionally and physically it can be a win win situation for parents and children.

If one parent is seeking sole custody of the children, he or she must provide evidence or information showing the other parent as unfit. Sole custody is often granted if one spouse has a criminal history, abusive or addicted to drugs or alcohol. Sole custody is granted at times, but not without substantial proof that one parent hasn’t been involved in parenting or is incapable due to personal issues to be a substantial parent.   

If one parent is granted sole legal custody they make decisions about education, health and well being of the child or children and can make decisions about the faith environment they will be raised in…

Joint custody is just what it sounds like, both parents work together making decision in the best interest of their children. Physical custody refers to the amount of time each parent has with the children – most parents can create a feasible plan including the handling of holidays, summer vacation and time spent with each parent. 

Bottom line is this, if father and mother can’t agree on the custody issues, the Judge must intervene and decide custody based on the “best interest” of the children. 

Divorce is super charged with emotion, anger and often times the intense desire of one or both spouses to punish each other. Parents should attempt to be rational about custody of the children and present a parenting plan to the judge that is in the “best interest” of the children.  Without a parenting plan both parties are at the mercy of the court and the judge will be the final decision maker. 

http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/divorce/article33.asp

As Always,

Little Tboca