Divorce - Popular as Apple Pie & Ice Cream

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It's everywhere, free divorce, free divorce forms, do it yourself and fill out your own divorce papers - is an epidemic and may be knocking at your door.

Those contemplating divorce or in the process of divorce are actually victims of a defunct system gone awry. Divorce is marketed like the latest and greatest commodity to hit the streets. Buy it you’ll like it and for a few bucks Mr.or Mrs. Jones you can do it yourself, no problem and live happily ever after. 

Internet companies promoting and advertising divorce are springing up like mushrooms daily. It’s as popular as apple pie and ice cream and you’re getting your daily dose of misinformation for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Whether you’ve hired legal counsel or you’re representing yourself there are a few things that can be done to prevent being blindsided during your divorce.  It’s a great rule of thumb to realize that divorce isn’t all that it’s advertised to be and there will be heartaches, lifestyle changes and obstacles every inch of the way.

The very basic information that may help is this – the divorce laws in each state vary and there’s no one size fits all. If you want the right divorce forms and the right information regarding family law in your State, you have a couple of options. 

Usually, it’s possible to have a consult with legal counsel free of charge – this will give you a general overview of the first steps that must be taken when filing for divorce.  Another choice and this is a very good one – go to your state government website and locate the divorce information which includes forms and sometimes tutorials. There are workshops and other self help venues available if you but ask…  

Contested divorces or pro se divorces are tough anyway you slice them and getting a favorable decision from the family law judge is your end goal. 

Divorce – Best Interest of the Children

Family law judges and divorce attorneys will say the best interest of the children is a priority in a divorce case. It’s not a secret that most family law judges make children their priority when handing down their final divorce decision.  

If you are a pro se litigant you’re filing or have filed for divorce, understand that the children come first in most divorces. 

Obviously family law judges should make final divorce decisions for both parties by determining what the “best interest" for the child or children.”  

But, the laws of our land serve as guidelines and some judges take it upon themselves to step outside of this window which at times isn’t in the “best interest” of the children. 

Here is an example of the "best interests" of the children written by an outstanding judge’s judge now retired.  Her history on the bench will show that the children came first when making final divorce decisions.  Judge Ann Kass said the “best interests” of children had many meanings and she took all precautions when children were involved in divorce.  

http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/kass2.html

Prepare your case for your day in court, but be sure you make the children your priority.  What is truly best for the child or children - who has been the primary caregiver?  Which parent has the time and desire to put the children first? What are the wishes of the children?  Are both parents emotionally stable and capable of mentoring and raising the children, if so joint custody is an excellent choice? 

Here is an excellent site that discusses children, parenting and divorce.  http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/children-and-divorce-221.shtml

It was one of those ridiculous arrangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced—when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination. ~ John Irving

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce – Do You Have A Parenting Plan?

Do it yourself divorce can become very complicated if there are children involved. Here’s one more thing on your plate that is something both parents need to create before arriving in divorce court. 

Without a parenting plant the family law judge is left to clean up the parenting mess, because parents can’t reach an agreement. Child custody is a critical issue of divorce and without a doubt one of the most contentious matters in the family law court.

The family law judge makes decision based on the “best interest” of the children. If both parents can lay aside the marital disagreements briefly and work together creating a parenting plan that specifically supports the child or children emotionally and physically it can be a win win situation for parents and children.

If one parent is seeking sole custody of the children, he or she must provide evidence or information showing the other parent as unfit. Sole custody is often granted if one spouse has a criminal history, abusive or addicted to drugs or alcohol. Sole custody is granted at times, but not without substantial proof that one parent hasn’t been involved in parenting or is incapable due to personal issues to be a substantial parent.   

If one parent is granted sole legal custody they make decisions about education, health and well being of the child or children and can make decisions about the faith environment they will be raised in…

Joint custody is just what it sounds like, both parents work together making decision in the best interest of their children. Physical custody refers to the amount of time each parent has with the children – most parents can create a feasible plan including the handling of holidays, summer vacation and time spent with each parent. 

Bottom line is this, if father and mother can’t agree on the custody issues, the Judge must intervene and decide custody based on the “best interest” of the children. 

Divorce is super charged with emotion, anger and often times the intense desire of one or both spouses to punish each other. Parents should attempt to be rational about custody of the children and present a parenting plan to the judge that is in the “best interest” of the children.  Without a parenting plan both parties are at the mercy of the court and the judge will be the final decision maker. 

http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/divorce/article33.asp

As Always,

Little Tboca