Infidelity in a Marriage Deadly

Is infidelity in a marriage taken into consideration by a family law judge?  If you’re in a no fault state, it probably isn’t going to be a deciding factor in your divorce. Infidelity will cause problems when the cheater tries to get their spouse to agree on a tentative settlement. It is only human nature to fight back when one feels betrayed or rejected; it’s the one trump card that the jilted spouse holds and it’s an extremely powerful card. 

At this point, the spouse no longer feels an inner need to be fair, whatever that may mean.  He or she turns into a banker, accountant, a strategist and what might have been a mutual divorce turns into the wreck of the century. What about the children, who’s is watching out for the children? Two outstanding attorneys always put the children first in their courtroom – neither judge approved of an intimate relationship during the divorce. 

Katherine Eisold Miller is a prominent Collaborative Lawyer and family mediator is now a public educator helping husband and wives choose the best way when divorce is eminent. 

Katherine feels the children should be the priority and encourages parents to make best choices for the children’s sake. She feels an adulteress relationship has very little impact in a no fault state. But, in those states that take fault into consideration the division of property, alimony, child support can be seriously affected.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Katherine%20Eisold%20Miller/

A family law judge (Judge Ann Kass,) from New Mexico always put the children first. She had zero tolerance for those intimately involved in a relationship before the divorce is final. 

http://www.divorcepeers.com/dating-during-divorce.htm

Although New Mexico is a no-fault state, Judge Ann Kass always put the children first. In one of her articles, she said,” But whatever the grown-ups do to themselves, they should absolutely avoid introducing any new companions to their children until the divorce is over and until there is a solid foundation for the new relationship with some reasonable degree of probability that it will last.

If married adults would put the children first, there probably wouldn’t be as many divorces or broken homes. Divorce devours the entire family; no one misses the angry fangs of divorce. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Till Death Do They Part

Often times the picture perfect marriage where two people vow to love, care for and honor till death do they part falls apart at the seams. What appeared to be a perfect union between a man and women has disintegrated over the years and it seems that the marriage is fractured beyond repair. Neither party had used divorce as a get out of jail free card - neither one contemplated divorce for years...

Neither one is pointing a finger or blaming their spouse; they just wake up one morning and realize that the once powerful relationship no longer exists.  

They both agree that it’s time to go their separate ways. No need to hire legal council, after all they’re intelligent adults and both are willing to sit down and complete the necessary paperwork to end their marriage. 

They will divide up assets, retirement and financial obligations insuring that neither one will suffer needlessly. This is a fairytale divorce without hero or heroine – no villain and no magical being to come to the aid of the hero.

This type of divorce which definitely works for some is called a non-contested or mutual divorce. Both parties agree on division of property, assets and financial obligations.  If children are involved, usually both parents want to share custody so joint custody is agreed upon. 

But what happens when neither spouse can agree on division of property, assets, financial obligations and child custody. Oftentimes one spouse hires a high powered attorney to represent them while the other opts to be a pro se litigant. Unless the pro se litigant is prepared to do an extensive amount of homework and preparation odds are against them. 

Due to their lack of judicial knowledge and courtroom procedure they’re at the mercy of the spouse who has legal council. One has a case to present to the Judge and the other has a story laced with “he said, she said” testimony. Although many judges have empathy for the pro se litigant, their hands are tied and they must make determinations on information at hand.

The American Bar Association and many judges say, “Pro Se litigants often lose more then they should when representing themselves,” because the pro se litigant doesn’t know how to prepare his or her case based on hard facts. There are many workshops and self help information venues for the pro se litigants, but few take advantage of this type of support. 

An Arizona company not yet launched is extending a hand up to  pro se litigants for a year without any charges or hidden surprises.  Go to www.caseboss.com  The service is free absolutely no strings attached, it will help the pro se litigant prepare a powerful case for divorce court. 

Their team is waiting to assist you and answer your questions while you learn to prepare your case for your day in court.

1. Judges have little patience with pro se litigants or legal counsel who comes to Court unprepared.

2.  Judges have a small window of time and make final decisions based on verified information presented to them.

3.  Judges are in control of your future – decisions are made on hard facts and not “he said, she said” information. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Men's Take on Divorce

No doubt men and women come from a different planet or so it seems. When it comes to divorce the little women gets engaged and plunges headlong into the many facets of divorce. She's more than a little bit pro active, because her anger and emotions have kicked in big time. Often times, she's not logical nor willing to communicate because in her eyes she's right and you're just plain wrong.

This person that you took the marriage vowels with has just gone south from friend, soul mate to number one enemy. In her mind she wants the house, the kids and even the kitchen sink. Of course not all women approach divorce this way, but a very large percentage goes for the "gusto" big alimony, the house, the children and child support. Family law were created to protect both parties, yet these laws can be misused and abused.

Men usually approach divorce in an entirely different manner.  First they believe that even though divorce is imminent that his spouse will be honest, fair and forthright when it comes to their divorce. That's the first biggest mistake, this person is no longer your partner nor does she worry about your feelings or future at this time.

Next mistake is assuming that the laws of our land are in place that will protect you come hell or high water, but this is strictly an old wives' tale.  Family laws can be manipulated by legal counsel until you will look like the scum of the earth.

Hopefully this will be a wake up call for some men.  Take the time to check you states' family laws regarding divorce.  Find out about division of marital assets, child custody and each spouse's obligations. Prepare yourself next with some hard questions for a divorce attorney and at least have a free consultation. Often times it better to work two jobs and have legal counsel than to try to fly on your own.  At least after your consultation you'll be better prepared and know what to expect.

If your're going pro se, then start studying the family laws in your State. Go to your State government site and put divorce in the search box.  Next learn how to build a powerful case for court - be prepared to stay up into the wee hours of the night studying. It's your life, your future and your hard earned money that's involved.

Building a divorce case is pretty much like taking on the job of a detective. Learn to document, organize and arrange your case by time, subject and date. A great place to start would be at www.caseboss.com - they are offering their website for one year free without any hidden expenses.

 Free is free - just take your time to do the homework and email their great team if you're in the dark and don't know how to start.  They have an awesome team there to assist you.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Consult With a Divorce Attorney

Divorce Attorneys Not Your Enemy 

When divorce seems to be the only option it's important to get mentally organized before filing papers.  Divorce is without a doubt one of the biggest decisions of a lifetime - it will affect you, your future and if children are involved the lives of your children.

Although many contemplating divorce have made a conscious decision to represent themselves or go pro se, because they can't afford legal counsel, they dislike attorneys or believe that they are in the best position to represent themselves. Representing oneself may or may not be a wise decision. Regardless of your reasons that you want to represent yourself, one of the best first decision you can make is to set up a free consultation with a divorce attorney. Get answer to many important questions before filing divorce papers.

There are many family laws concerning divorce that you don't know about and an attorney can help you make a conscious decision about preparing for your divorce. Before setting up an appointment with an attorney, get organized - jot down questions regarding the children.

Inquire about child support, alimony, medical expenses, visitation rights and who may need to file temporary orders so they may be the primary caregiver of the children and remain in the marital home. The children should be your priority so get a clear understanding of how you can get divorced and yet insure the "best interests" of the children.

Next find out about division of marital assets, if you've been married for several years and alot of assets are involved then find out if you should have a 3rd party do an evaluation of the marital property. You may need to know about retirement funds, business assets, personal property or pre nuptial agreement and don't forget hidden assets and debts.

Don't forget health insurance - will you be covered by health insurance during the interim before the divorce is final. If you believe alimony is in order, find out how much you might expect, how child support is figured and inquire about temporary orders before the divorce is final.

Consulting with a qualified attorney before filing for divorce may save you money, time and heartaches later down the road.  Each State has their own family laws and there have been many recent changes in some of the States regarding alimony.

As Always,  

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Spousal Support or Alimony

When contemplating divorce consider the possibility that not only will marital assets be divided, but along with child support you may be required to pay spousal support. 

Even if you hate your spouse and feel that he or she is the reason the marriage is being dissolved - this doesn't mean you'll get off free and clear without paying spousal support.  Spousal support or alimony laws have a lot of what if’s - before your day in court, find out if you will owe spousal support.

The judge determines spousal support on a variety of issues, but not limited to the length of the marriage, the age of the children, the spouse’s capability to earn an income and if he or  she has been dependent on their spouse economically. 

To read a thorough review explaining the ins and out of spousal support go to http://www.findlaw.com/ and search for alimony or spousal support.

Divorce may be one of the most contentious anger laden events in your lifetime - when it is time to divide marital assets, make decisions on child support and alimony  family law judges have stringent guidelines that must be followed.  

Don't go to court under the assumption that the divorce judge will make a decision in your favor. There are a pot full of divorce variables that may in fact limit your normal lifestyle and change your future plans. It's a good idea to talk with an attorney and tax consultant before filing for divorce. What you don't know may hurt you for years to come.  

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Pro Se Litigant & Divorce Attorney

www.caseboss.com

The face off between your spouse’s legal counsel and yourself (Pro se) isn’t a pretty picture. One is experienced in courtroom procedure, knows family law like the back of their hand and the other is in between a rock and a hard place.

So what would be the best approach for a pro se litigant when he’s going into the game with two strikes against him?

Many remember the story about the shepherd boy and Goliath – a young boy had come to the table to do a man’s job.  You can go to divorce court prepared to wear the hat of an attorney if you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, sweat and do the hard work. 

Don’t depend on a bunch of glorified advertisement about how easy it is to represent yourself in a court of law – it’s not easy.  It takes determination, resilience and the ability to acquire the tools that will allow you to present a strong case in court. 

The government site in your state will get you off to a good start, find out exactly what divorce forms are required, how to serve your spouse, what the Statute of Limitations are and determine which court in your area will hear your divorce.

The government sites usually offer support by addressing the laws on divorce with or without children, alimony, child custody, division of marital assets and most states have workshops, self help venues that are easily accessed. 

If you’re going to whip it on Goliath, then learn everything you can about family law and courtroom protocol. Don’t ever assume that the divorce judge will give you a favorable decision because you’re a good person, have been responsible and faithful to your soon to be ex. 

You need to go back several years document everything concerning the marital relationship, make three copies of the information and have hard evidence to present to the family law judge. 

Here’s an example of the “he said, she said” testimony that won’t hold up in court.  If you go to your banker and say I deposited $700 in my account last week and it wasn’t credited to my account. The banker will say, “Mr. Jones show me evidence, a receipt or proof that you made this deposit.

This is exactly what the divorce judge will say in court,” show me proof that you’ve been the primary caregiver of the children, that you’ve been a responsible party. Learn how to craft and build a powerful winning case for the judge. It’s your life, your future and the divorce judge has a small window of time to review evidence and make final decisions.

As Always,

Little Tboca

How to Team Up With Your Attorney

www.caseboss.com

 

 

 

 

 

Although divorce attorneys have acquired a lot of negative publicity, the fact remains there are many great divorce attorneys who are prepared to represent you in good faith. 

Theirs is a profession just like any other and it’s their livelihood, of course there are charges for the service they offer. Like physicians they have a high overhead and must pay the monthly bills. Divorce isn't a free commodity!

Do your homework find a list of attorneys who have a good divorce track record, select one from that list and set up a preliminary consultation.  Normally there isn’t any charge to this first meeting – so go prepared with questions that need answered. Ask what the hourly charges are, how much if any deposit required and set up a feasible schedule limiting office visits, telephone calls etc. 

Take control of the attorney/client relationship – it’s not fun to be blindsided with unnecessary attorney fees. Your attorney will be the first one to emphasize the importance of working together as a team – even a good attorney can’t go it alone so be prepared to participate in the partnership.

Difficulties that arise due to a divorce litigants false expectations include; (1) Because you’ve been a good parent and good provider you expect a favorable decision by the judge, (2) Because you have been the main breadwinner, you feel that most of or a large portion of the marital assets should be yours, (3) You expect the attorney to win your case regardless of family law or the many errors you’ve made during the marriage, (4) You decide in your mind what is morally correct and expect a favorable decision from the judge based on your moral perception.

False expectations immediately create a tension between attorney and client.  The attorney needs all information regarding marital assets, child care, participation with child or children, financial obligations, pre nuptial contract if any, retirement funds or savings etc. Give the attorney all information concerning the marital relationship. Paint a detailed picture of the marriage including all documents showing paid receipts, time, date and resolution.

Don’t misrepresent or lie to your attorney - lies can be the reason for an unfavorable decision from the divorce judge.  Team work equates to this – you give your attorneys the tools that he or she needs to build a winning case in court.  An attorney needs proof, not a bunch of “he said, she said,” gibberish.

Go to caseboss.com and learn how to build a powerful divorce case - absolutely no charges and free for one year.  

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce Accelerates in 2014

Divorce in 2014

The first part of 2014 appears to be a mystery to many, divorce is definitely on the rise according to some statistics and this may not be a very good sign for those contemplating divorce.  Actual unemployment rate, counting the millions who have quit looking for jobs and eliminating these part time 20 hour per week job is hovering way over 15% according to various economists.

Obamacare is becoming a horrendous burden to families due to the high deductibles and loss of family physicians and loss of their insurer. Although, for many divorce appears to be an easy way to gain independence and fly on your own - that's simply not true. Maybe the grass looks greener and in actuality the grass isn't greener and a new marriage if on the horizon often times isn't a cure all for what ails many people.

The percentage of people divorcing in their second marriages is very high. Here's another thought to consider if you have stayed home and been the primary caregiver - the soon to be ex may lose their job or become a part time employee.

The writing on the wall is this - with such a shaky economy and Obamacare - likely you may have to get a full time job in order to pay bills and make ends meet.  So preparing a budget that is feasible would be reasonable.

First consider the children before jumping into divorce, plan ahead and be sure your decisions are in the best interest of your children - if you don't do that now, the family law judge will make that decision. If the children are old enough to make a choice about who they wish to live with, maybe that would be one of the first things to resolve.

Little ones aren't capable of making that kind of decision, so you must be the grown up here and have a good plan for the children.

Here's a list of very important issues you may want to resolve before filing for divorce. Legal counsel is a great way to find out what the family laws are in your state, how assets may be divided including alimony (if necessary) and child support.  A consultation with an attorney often times will save a lot of time and money later on...

Many couples actually benefit from counseling and find that divorce isn't really what they want or need.  A counselor is unbiased and will look at the marital relationship differently then those who are married and often they can assist a couple by getting them back on track and saving a marriage.

If you and your spouse have investments and retirement funds - a tax attorney might be good for starters, the tax laws have changed so much in recent years.

So look down the road for it's your future, figure out where you will live, how you'll pay bills, if you're going to need a new vehicle or furniture - figure all of those unknowns into your new budget, because life in the big single city can be pretty rough, so take your time before making rash decisions that you'll regret later.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Are You a Team Player With Your Attorney?

Although divorce attorneys have acquired a lot of negative publicity, the fact remains there are many great divorce attorneys who are prepared to represent you in good faith.  

Theirs is a profession just like any other and it’s their livelihood, of course there are charges for the service they offer. Like physicians they have a high overhead and must pay the monthly bills. Divorce isn't a free commodity!

Do your homework find a list of attorneys who have a good divorce track record, select one from that list and set up a preliminary consultation.  Normally there isn’t any charge to this first meeting – so go prepared with questions that need answered. Ask what the hourly charges are, how much if any deposit required and set up a feasible schedule limiting office visits, telephone calls etc. 

Take control of the attorney/client relationship – it’s not fun to be blindsided with unnecessary attorney fees. Your attorney will be the first one to emphasize the importance of working together as a team – even a good attorney can’t go it alone so be prepared to participate in the partnership.

Difficulties that arise due to a divorce litigants false expectations include; (1) Because you’ve been a good parent and good provider you expect a favorable decision by the judge, (2) Because you have been the main breadwinner, you feel that most of or a large portion of the marital assets should be yours, (3) You expect the attorney to win your case regardless of family law or the many errors you’ve made during the marriage, (4) You decide in your mind what is morally correct and expect a favorable decision from the judge based on your moral perception.

False expectations immediately create a tension between attorney and client.  The attorney needs all information regarding marital assets, child care, participation with child or children, financial obligations, pre nuptial contract if any, retirement funds or savings etc. Give the attorney all information concerning the marital relationship. Paint a detailed picture of the marriage including all documents showing paid receipts, time, date and resolution.

Don’t misrepresent or lie to your attorney - lies can be the reason for an unfavorable decision from the divorce judge.  Team work equates to this – you give your attorneys the tools that he or she needs to build a winning case in court.  An attorney needs proof, not a bunch of “he said, she said,” gibberish.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Pathway to Freedom Not Always Pro Se Divorce

www.caseboss.com

So often pro se divorce isn’t the pathway to freedom – it isn’t a get out of jail free card.  Although pro se divorce is marketed, publicized and promoted, there isn’t any miraculous cure for pro se divorce litigants. Do it yourself divorce or pro se divorce has many hidden problems that need to be addressed. 

The Judicial system throughout the country is trying to assist the litigants by offering workshops and self help venues. There are great divorce websites on the Internet that offer free information and assistance to those contemplating divorce, but there are many Internet sites that prey on pro se litigant wanting their money. 

Don’t fall victim to the Internet sites that tout divorce as fast and easy – those sites play on emotions. Divorce that involves alimony, child custody, child support and division of property isn’t easy. Filling out divorce papers on line is a risk and it’s your life and future that is involved, what appears easy, inexpensive can cost much more than taking the time to do it right.

It’s best to control anger and emotions before jumping off the cliff into a lion’s den.  If divorce is the only option, take time studying the family laws in your State – learn what your options really are before diving into divorce.

Wearing the hat of legal counsel can be grueling and difficult. The Judicial system isn’t exactly user friendly – it takes hours of study and homework to understand how to maneuver within the divorce laws of your State.

In many ways the laws concerning self representation seem to confuse rather than assist litigants. It merely means that you are granted the right to present your divorce case in court without legal counsel – it doesn’t offer anything more than the legal right to represent yourself.

End of conversation, this law doesn’t insure a favorable decision from the judge, legal assistance from the court staff or any other options.  What you see is what you get –before going pro se remember it can be very costly by negatively affecting your future. 

Statistics show that pro se litigants are losing what is rightfully theirs in divorce court, because they fail follow the laws in their State. The pro se litigant can’t continue blaming judges or attorneys – it is their responsibility to follow family laws as established in their State. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

2014 May Not be the Best Year for a Divorce

2014 will be very unpredictable for those contemplating divorce - it will be another year of Government glitches and unlawful compromises and deals. It's hard to know how Obamacare will play out in 2014, but it's a safe bet that Americans will have the Government gophers sneaking in their pocketbook and snitching their money.

Those deliberating on divorce may want to step back and review all of their options before jumping into the divorce frying pan. Obamacare has created an instability in our job market, because businesses will have to cut back employee hours to part time or just cut back on employees period.  Either way think before you jump into a divorce because your ex may not have money for alimony and not much if any for child support - he or she may be without a job.

Another factor which is huge is this: the parent who has the responsibility of providing health insurance for his family may not in fact have the finances to pay a large co pay or deductible, which in some of the Obamacare plans is somewhere between $4500 to $6000 per family member before insurance kicks in - so it may be wise to reconsider jumping into a divorce until you see what 2014 has on the horizon.

One more thing that I've written about many times is about those who are planning to represent themselves in the courtroom or going pro se.  Regardless of the reasons for going pro se, it's difficult and over 70% of those representing themselves leave the courtroom totally beaten up because they weren't prepared for their day in court.

Pro se divorce isn't  merely filling out a few divorce forms. You've decided to wear the hat of an attorney meaning it's going to take alot of studying and homework. The judge can't make favorable decisions for you if you haven't prepared your case for court. Do you know the family laws in your state?  Do you know the Statute of Limitations in your State?  Do you know how to fill out interrogatories?  Do you know courtroom protocol?  Do you know the laws in your State on serving divorce papers to your spouse?  

If your spouse has an attorney, do you feel qualified to get a favorable decisions from the judge?  There are so many unknowns when it comes to divorce, divorce judges, new State laws on alimony etc. - one must get a handle on their anger and emotions and make good business decisions when divorce is in your future.

I didn't write this article to scare anyone - it's just so very important to analyze your options before jumping into divorce.  Could you settle out of court maybe settle for collaborate divorce?  Could you and your spouse sit down together and negotiate fair terms that will benefit each of you or is there a chance that divorce could be put on hold for a while?

Lastly, remember the children in fact your priority should be the children first - so whatever your decision may be about divorce always do what is best for the children.

As Always,
Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Face Off Between Pro Se Litigants and Legal Counsel

Pro Se Litigants face off with legal counsel

The face off between your spouse’s legal counsel and yourself (Pro se) isn’t a pretty picture. One is experienced in courtroom procedure, knows family law like the back of their hand and the other is in between a rock and a hard place.  So what would be the best approach for a pro se litigant when he’s going into the game with two strikes against him?

Many remember the story about the shepherd boy and Goliath – a young boy had come to the table to do a man’s job.  You can go to divorce court prepared to wear the hat of an attorney if you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, sweat and do the hard work.  

Don’t depend on a bunch of glorified advertisement about how easy it is to represent yourself in a court of law – it’s not easy.  It takes determination, resilience and the ability to acquire the tools that will allow you to present a strong case in court. 

The government site in your state will get you off to a good start, find out exactly what divorce forms are required, how to serve your spouse, what the Statute of Limitations are and determine which court in your area will hear your divorce.

The government sites usually offer support by addressing the laws on divorce with or without children, alimony, child custody, division of marital assets and most states have workshops, self help venues that are easily accessed. 

If you’re going to whip it on Goliath, then learn everything you can about family law and courtroom protocol. Don’t ever assume that the divorce judge will give you a favorable decision because you’re a good person, have been responsible and faithful to your soon to be ex. 

You need to go back several years document everything concerning the marital relationship, make three copies of the information and have hard evidence to present to the family law judge. 

Here’s an example of the “he said, she said” testimony that won’t hold up in court.  If you go to your banker and say I deposited $700 in my account last week and it wasn’t credited to my account. The banker will say, “Mr. Jones show me evidence, a receipt or proof that you made this deposit.

This is exactly what the divorce judge will say in court,” show me proof that you’ve been the primary caregiver of the children, that you’ve been a responsible party. Learn how to craft and build a powerful winning case for the judge. It’s your life, your future and the divorce judge has a small window of time to review evidence and make final decisions. www.caseboss.com hasn't launched yet and offering the use of their software free for one year - learn how to organize your documents, prepare a winning case for divorce court.  

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce Team - is Crucial

Although divorce attorneys have acquired a lot of negative publicity, the fact remains there are many great divorce attorneys who are prepared to represent you in good faith.  

Theirs is a profession just like any other and it’s their livelihood, of course there are charges for the service they offer. Like physicians they have a high overhead and must pay the monthly bills. Divorce isn't a free commodity!

Do your homework find a list of attorneys who have a good divorce track record, select one from that list and set up a preliminary consultation.  Normally there isn’t any charge to this first meeting – so go prepared with questions that need answered. Ask what the hourly charges are, how much if any deposit required and set up a feasible schedule limiting office visits, telephone calls etc. 

Take control of the attorney/client relationship – it’s not fun to be blindsided with unnecessary attorney fees. Your attorney will be the first one to emphasize the importance of working together as a team – even a good attorney can’t go it alone so be prepared to participate in the partnership.

Difficulties that arise due to a divorce litigants false expectations include; (1) Because you’ve been a good parent and good provider you expect a favorable decision by the judge, (2) Because you have been the main breadwinner, you feel that most of or a large portion of the marital assets should be yours, (3) You expect the attorney to win your case regardless of family law or the many errors you’ve made during the marriage, (4) You decide in your mind what is morally correct and expect a favorable decision from the judge based on your moral perception.

False expectations immediately create a tension between attorney and client.  The attorney needs all information regarding marital assets, child care, participation with child or children, financial obligations, pre nuptial contract if any, retirement funds or savings etc. Give the attorney all information concerning the marital relationship. Paint a detailed picture of the marriage including all documents showing paid receipts, time, date and resolution.

Don’t misrepresent or lie to your attorney - lies can be the reason for an unfavorable decision from the divorce judge.  Team work equates to this – you give your attorneys the tools that he or she needs to build a winning case in court.  An attorney needs proof, not a bunch of “he said, she said,” gibberish.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce - Attorneys Aren't Your Enemy

When divorce seems to be the only option it's important to get mentally organized before filing papers.  Divorce is without a doubt one of the biggest decisions of a lifetime - it will affect you, your future and if children are involved the lives of your children.

Although many contemplating divorce have made a conscious decision to represent themselves or go pro se, because they can't afford legal counsel, they dislike attorneys or believe that they are in the best position to represent themselves. Representing oneself may or may not be a wise decision. Regardless of your reasons that you want to represent yourself, one of the best first decision you can make is to set up a free consultation with a divorce attorney. Get answer to many important questions before filing divorce papers.

There are many family laws concerning divorce that you don't know about and an attorney can help you make a conscious decision about preparing for your divorce. Before setting up an appointment with an attorney, get organized - jot down questions regarding the children.

Inquire about child support, alimony, medical expenses, visitation rights and who may need to file temporary orders so they may be the primary caregiver of the children and remain in the marital home. The children should be your priority so get a clear understanding of how you can get divorced and yet insure the "best interests" of the children.

Next find out about division of marital assets, if you've been married for several years and alot of assets are involved then find out if you should have a 3rd party do an evaluation of the marital property. You may need to know about retirement funds, business assets, personal property or pre nuptial agreement and don't forget hidden assets and debts.

Don't forget health insurance - will you be covered by health insurance during the interim before the divorce is final. If you believe alimony is in order, find out how much you might expect, how child support is figured and inquire about temporary orders before the divorce is final.

Consulting with a qualified attorney before filing for divorce may save you money, time and heartaches later down the road.  Each State has their own family laws and there have been many recent changes in some of the States regarding alimony.

As Always,
Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce Attorney vs. Pro Se Litigant

The face off between your spouse’s legal counsel and yourself (Pro se) isn’t a pretty picture. One is experienced in courtroom procedure, knows family law like the back of their hand and the other is in between a rock and a hard place.  So what would be the best approach for a pro se litigant when he’s going into the game with two strikes against him?

Many remember the story about the shepherd boy and Goliath – a young boy had come to the table to do a man’s job.  You can go to divorce court prepared to wear the hat of an attorney if you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, sweat and do the hard work.  

Don’t depend on a bunch of glorified advertisement about how easy it is to represent yourself in a court of law – it’s not easy.  It takes determination, resilience and the ability to acquire the tools that will allow you to present a strong case in court. 

The government site in your state will get you off to a good start, find out exactly what divorce forms are required, how to serve your spouse, what the Statute of Limitations are and determine which court in your area will hear your divorce.

The government sites usually offer support by addressing the laws on divorce with or without children, alimony, child custody, division of marital assets and most states have workshops, self help venues that are easily accessed. 

If you’re going to whip it on Goliath, then learn everything you can about family law and courtroom protocol. Don’t ever assume that the divorce judge will give you a favorable decision because you’re a good person, have been responsible and faithful to your soon to be ex. 

You need to go back several years document everything concerning the marital relationship, make three copies of the information and have hard evidence to present to the family law judge. 

Here’s an example of the “he said, she said” testimony that won’t hold up in court.  If you go to your banker and say I deposited $700 in my account last week and it wasn’t credited to my account. The banker will say, “Mr. Jones show me evidence, a receipt or proof that you made this deposit.

This is exactly what the divorce judge will say in court,” show me proof that you’ve been the primary caregiver of the children, that you’ve been a responsible party. Learn how to craft and build a powerful winning case for the judge. It’s your life, your future and the divorce judge has a small window of time to review evidence and make final decisions.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Collaborate Divorce vs. Contested Divorce

If you jump online and study the statistics on contested divorces, it’s pretty scary and very confusing.  It’s like husband and wife have put on their armor and ready for battle, any battle just as long as they win. Its payback time and a winner take all scenario.

One of the truly terrifying thoughts about a contested divorce is this – often times one spouse is going pro se (representing themselves) while the other spouse has hired a divorce attorney with a great track record.  This is like letting a junk yard dog attack a miniature poodle – little chance of competing when the pro se litigant doesn’t understand family laws or courtroom procedure.

What about a divorce pathway that eliminates the courtroom drama, saves money, time and proves to be more equitable for both spouses when done correctly. Collaborative or cooperative law opens doors for both parties and gives them options while adhering to family law.

Each spouse gets an attorney whose credentials include collaborative law.  They meet with their attorneys and discuss division of marital assets, child support, alimony and the shared debt of the married couple. With the assistance of their attorney they know what to expect on each of these issues – anger and emotions are controlled because they understand the critical issues of divorce.

Each attorney will probably inform their clients that the children are a priority and all decisions concerning the children must be in “the best interests” of the children. Husband and wife will have a handle on what to expect when marital assets are divided and they’ll understand prenuptial contracts, retirement funds and shared savings accounts etc. 

If there is an extensive amount of marital assets the attorneys may suggest hiring a third party who is qualified to give them a fair market value of the assets. At the same time they may suggest a preliminary injunction which prevents either spouse from disposing of marital assets prior to the divorce.

Next the spouses along with their attorneys have an informal meeting focused on making the difficult divorce decisions that exist when a married couple is dissolving their marriage.  When one or both parties are in total disagreement, the collaborate attorneys will offer suggestions and legal information that will help the parties arrive at a logical decision.

Collaborate or cooperative divorce is by no way easy, because there are many legal issues that must be factored in such as length of marriage, children’s ages, health and age of spouses, if one spouse has contributed to another’s education or helped them build a business etc.  Divorce is a very contentious issue and it isn’t like a pie that can be split right down the middle – instead family law concentrates on “fair” but not necessarily “equal.”

It is a good way to save time, money, courtroom drama and a great way to do what is in the “best interests” of the children.  If spouses can look at divorce as a business plan that needs both of their input, they will approach the division of marital assets, children, custody and alimony in a different frame of mind.  Collaborate divorce is better for the children allowing them an easier transition and it saves a lot of emotional and financial stress for both parents. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Before Hiring a Divorce Attorney - Ask Questions Now Not Later

When contemplating divorce, before hiring an attorney consider your first free consultation as an interview - you are the interviewer. 

You are on a “need to know” basis, which means the attorney pretty much needs a resume of past performance and experience when it comes to divorce and family law. 

This is pretty much the same scenario as hiring a CEO for a big LLC or Corporation – background information is crucial.  Has this person been involved with any illegal activities – has he or she received a sanction from their State Bar association?

Another great question to ask this person you’re interviewing is this – are you going to be the attorney representing me or will I be handed down to another member of your firm?  Why waste time with this person if in fact they aren’t going to be the one to represent you in divorce court.

Get the financial information up front; (1) What are your hourly fees, (2) What are the charges that you will be responsible for – how much will you owe for court appearances, how much for telephone calls and paralegal work?  If possible, negotiate for a flat fee – that way you know exactly what your legal counsel will cost.

Is this person primarily a divorce attorney or is their expertise bankruptcy, criminal law etc.?  Does this person you are interviewing know family law, division of marital assets, child custody, paternity and tax laws or other issues involving a possible stock portfolio, retirement or other fairly complex issues involving division of marital property.

Before meeting with an attorney for a free consultation, take pen and paper and jot down all questions for this person that pertain to cost of the divorce, their background, their track record in divorce court etc..  All questions are important, because it involves you past, your present and your future.

Everyone is traveling at such a fast pace in our society, trying to keep their head above water and survive.  What comes to my mind at this time, don’t assume anything - get everything in writing pertaining to your divorce case.  Surf the Internet with caution, don’t expose your dirty laundry on Facebook or the social sites and don’t let emotions or anger dictate your actions. 

Please remember this isn't a legal site - it just offers information that may be of interest to those contemplating divorce. 

As Always,

Little Tboca 

www.caseboss.com

Divorce - Is There a Real Need for a Trial

Here's a bit of information from a Scottsdale, Az divorce attorney that affirms how many attorneys truly are interested in assisting divorce litigants.

I receive weekly emails from Scott which offer a hand up to those contemplating divorce.

Hello again,

We've covered a lot of territory together since you started this eDivorce Course several weeks ago. You're doing a great job of working through these materials, of building a solid foundation for your divorce education.

Today, I want to talk with you about the importance of making every effort to settle your case. Lots of couples are able to go through the divorce process without the need for trial; it's quite likely that you can avoid a trial as well. That's why I encourage you to work through as many agreements as you can with your spouse, and start negotiating early.

Before we begin, take a moment to review the following article:

10 Ways Settlements Help

Ready? Here's a list of five settlement principles to keep in mind when your divorce negotiations begin in earnest:  

1. Only you and your spouse (not the judge) are capable of creating a separation agreement with terms that work for you both, given your personal goals and unique circumstances.

2. When unresolved disputes are litigated at trial, the judge may render a decision in favor of a party who really doesn't deserve it.

3. Divorces are intensely personal. Any issue that is not settled will be decided by the judge, a decision-maker who does not know you or your family beyond the pleadings and relevant evidence.

4. Trials take a long time and are expensive to litigate. If you (or your spouse) don't like the result, you can appeal the judge's decision. But appeals cost money, too.  

5. No matter how prepared you are for trial, you could lose on the issues that are most important to you.

When you're frustrated with the pace of settlement negotiations, take a step back and reflect on these five principals. If there's any chance that lingering issues of custody, family support, or the division of property can be negotiated or mediated, then give settlement another try.

Sincerely,

Scott David Stewart
Attorney

www.sdsfamilylaw.com

www.caseboss.com

As Always,

Little Tboca 

Divorce Attorney Talks About Reconciliation

It's too bad that many have such a distaste for divorce attorneys - there are so many great professional men and women who actually want to help one make the best choices.

Here's an email that I recently received from an attorney in Arizona. Reconciliation certainly is an option if husband and wife are interested in saving their marriage.

Are you wondering what happens if you or your spouse wants to try reconciling differences to stay married?  

We encourage clients to consider marriage counseling and mediation before committing to divorce. But I don't want to create doubt for you in your decision-making process, nor do I want to create false expectations about the possibilities of reconciliation. Having said that, there are three things you should know. 

First. When one spouse files for divorce while the other spouse desires to remain married, the dissolution process continues. Depending upon your perspective, that may be overly harsh or a relief. But so long as one spouse believes the marriage is irretrievably broken, the divorce proceeds in family court.

Second. There is a mandatory 60-day cooling off period before the family law judge can issue a final divorce decree.

Third. Should you and your spouse agree to meet with a private marriage counselor, there are many qualified, licensed professionals throughout the state. Also, marital counseling is available through the Family Court's conciliation services. This service is available to couples who are contemplating divorce or already in the process of divorce. When the divorce is pending, conciliation counseling can temporarily suspend the process for up to two months while the couple tries to reconcile.

Here are two important articles about marriage counseling:

1. Counseling for Couples in Distress

2. Resolving Differences and Avoiding Divorce

Remember Alyssa? She went through counseling on her own, then she and her husband tried counseling together. Although they did divorce, both benefited from their counseling sessions.

If you think counseling could help save your marriage, then talk with your trusted advisor to schedule that first session. Need a referral? Call us anytime to request a list of marriage counselors in your area.

Sincerely,

Scott David Stewart
Attorney

www.sdsfamilylaw.com 

As Always,

Little Tboca                  

www.caseboss.com