Man Dissects Marital Relationship

Everyone has heard the expression a day late and dollar short and often this is the case with divorces. Instead of doing some soul searching about one's role in a marriage we do what is inherent human instinct - we ease our pain and disappointment by placing the blame on someone else.

Once we remove responsibility for our own actions and place it on someone else's shoulders we devote our time building a case against that person or persons. This happens often in marital relationships and the strange thing about this, we've actually sabotaged ourselves.

The video below is a man's viewpoint after his divorce and it has gone viral. Immediately after his divorce he dissected his marital relationship and accepts responsibility for his actions or lack of actions. This applies to women not just men. Hope it helps someone when they are contemplating divorce in the near future.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Divorce - A Bed of Roses

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For those contemplating or going thru divorce, it’s a misnomer that once divorced your life will turn into a bed of roses with a beautiful fairly predictable future. Divorce is one event in life that is unpredictable and can change your lifestyle overnight. 

Divorce will terminate the marital relationship, although not necessarily eliminate the need for a civil relationship thereafter.  If children are involved issues such as child custody, alimony, visitation rights have many variables that can change dramatically depending on financial changes, illness, loss of jobs and a times devastating addictions. 

So in reality, divorce allows you to live separately not under the same room with your ex. It does not mean that marital assets will be divided equally, nor does it mean you’re relieved of financial liabilities that you and your spouse accumulated over a period of time.

Divorce isn’t a cure all solution for one wanting their freedom from marital responsibilities and emotional issues – there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to continue or maintain the standard of living that was present during the marriage.

Here’s an interesting article on “ready for divorce.”  It discusses the good, the bad and ugly of divorce.    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/13/divorce-questions-are-you_n_1341987.html

There are many reasons why divorce may be a better solution; (1) Abuse in the family, (2) Extreme addictions and (3) Adulterous relationships that have destroyed the family unit. 

If none of those reasons exit, it might be a good thought to revisit the real reasons you’re adamant about getting divorce.  Just don’t assume that divorce is an answer to all of your woes – take time to learn more about the intricate family laws that will affect your life after divorce.

Possibly visiting legal counsel and getting a free ½ hour consultation would be a good alternative before making a definite decision that divorce is the best possible solution. 

Divorce isn’t a predicable and as said earlier it is power packed with variables, consequences and determinants that will impact your future. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce Team - is Crucial

Although divorce attorneys have acquired a lot of negative publicity, the fact remains there are many great divorce attorneys who are prepared to represent you in good faith.  

Theirs is a profession just like any other and it’s their livelihood, of course there are charges for the service they offer. Like physicians they have a high overhead and must pay the monthly bills. Divorce isn't a free commodity!

Do your homework find a list of attorneys who have a good divorce track record, select one from that list and set up a preliminary consultation.  Normally there isn’t any charge to this first meeting – so go prepared with questions that need answered. Ask what the hourly charges are, how much if any deposit required and set up a feasible schedule limiting office visits, telephone calls etc. 

Take control of the attorney/client relationship – it’s not fun to be blindsided with unnecessary attorney fees. Your attorney will be the first one to emphasize the importance of working together as a team – even a good attorney can’t go it alone so be prepared to participate in the partnership.

Difficulties that arise due to a divorce litigants false expectations include; (1) Because you’ve been a good parent and good provider you expect a favorable decision by the judge, (2) Because you have been the main breadwinner, you feel that most of or a large portion of the marital assets should be yours, (3) You expect the attorney to win your case regardless of family law or the many errors you’ve made during the marriage, (4) You decide in your mind what is morally correct and expect a favorable decision from the judge based on your moral perception.

False expectations immediately create a tension between attorney and client.  The attorney needs all information regarding marital assets, child care, participation with child or children, financial obligations, pre nuptial contract if any, retirement funds or savings etc. Give the attorney all information concerning the marital relationship. Paint a detailed picture of the marriage including all documents showing paid receipts, time, date and resolution.

Don’t misrepresent or lie to your attorney - lies can be the reason for an unfavorable decision from the divorce judge.  Team work equates to this – you give your attorneys the tools that he or she needs to build a winning case in court.  An attorney needs proof, not a bunch of “he said, she said,” gibberish.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce in 2013

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Divorce in 2013 presents many problems which are out of your control. In addition to dissolving a marital relationship one must think about the existing economic environment in our Nation. 

Family law judges can’t predict the future and must make their decisions based on present circumstances. 

The recession is still alive and gnawing at our heels – our Nation has acquired a National deficit that is at this point and time almost unsustainable.  Factors such as Obamacare, EPA regulations are determinants that will and are affecting the work force.

What the future holds for those contemplating or going thru divorce is unknown at this time.  One or both parties may lose their jobs or be demoted to part time jobs.  If individuals have to pay for their own health insurance, this will reduce the anticipated monthly income.

It’s the unknowns in 2013 that make divorce such an unpredictable issue. Will there be money to meet monthly bills, pay child support, alimony if you find yourself in the unemployment line?  Will the children suffer dramatically due to your decision?  Will divorce harm both parties and the children at this time?

Anger, emotions, economic problem, financial issues all factor into your decision to get a divorce.  If there’s abuse or excessive problems with addiction, it may be best to get some legal support and discuss your options at this time.  

Probably one of the safest things that one can do before filing divorce papers is to set up a free consultation with an attorney.  Find out how divorce will affect you financially now and in the future.  Find out how marital assets will be divided and discuss what would be in the “best interest” of the children.  Discuss alimony, child custody and liabilities with the attorney.

Divorce is advertise as a commodity that will give you an overnight fix to all of your problems – it is a family law that allows parties to dissolve a marriage, but not necessarily remove personal responsibility or liability. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorced Man Tells All

Everyone has heard the expression a day late and dollar short and often this is the case with divorces. Instead of doing some soul searching about one's role in a marriage we do what is inherent human instinct - we ease our pain and disappointment by placing the blame on someone else.

Once we remove responsibility for our own actions and place it on someone else's shoulders we devote our time building a case against that person or persons. This happens often in marital relationships and the strange thing about this, we've actually sabotaged ourselves.

The video below is a man's viewpoint after his divorce and it has gone viral. Immediately after his divorce he dissected his marital relationship and accepts responsibility for his actions or lack of actions. This applies to women not just men. Hope it helps someone when they are contemplating divorce in the near future.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca