Men's Take on Divorce

No doubt men and women come from a different planet or so it seems. When it comes to divorce the little women gets engaged and plunges headlong into the many facets of divorce. She's more than a little bit pro active, because her anger and emotions have kicked in big time. Often times, she's not logical nor willing to communicate because in her eyes she's right and you're just plain wrong.

This person that you took the marriage vowels with has just gone south from friend, soul mate to number one enemy. In her mind she wants the house, the kids and even the kitchen sink. Of course not all women approach divorce this way, but a very large percentage goes for the "gusto" big alimony, the house, the children and child support. Family law were created to protect both parties, yet these laws can be misused and abused.

Men usually approach divorce in an entirely different manner.  First they believe that even though divorce is imminent that his spouse will be honest, fair and forthright when it comes to their divorce. That's the first biggest mistake, this person is no longer your partner nor does she worry about your feelings or future at this time.

Next mistake is assuming that the laws of our land are in place that will protect you come hell or high water, but this is strictly an old wives' tale.  Family laws can be manipulated by legal counsel until you will look like the scum of the earth.

Hopefully this will be a wake up call for some men.  Take the time to check you states' family laws regarding divorce.  Find out about division of marital assets, child custody and each spouse's obligations. Prepare yourself next with some hard questions for a divorce attorney and at least have a free consultation. Often times it better to work two jobs and have legal counsel than to try to fly on your own.  At least after your consultation you'll be better prepared and know what to expect.

If your're going pro se, then start studying the family laws in your State. Go to your State government site and put divorce in the search box.  Next learn how to build a powerful case for court - be prepared to stay up into the wee hours of the night studying. It's your life, your future and your hard earned money that's involved.

Building a divorce case is pretty much like taking on the job of a detective. Learn to document, organize and arrange your case by time, subject and date. A great place to start would be at www.caseboss.com - they are offering their website for one year free without any hidden expenses.

 Free is free - just take your time to do the homework and email their great team if you're in the dark and don't know how to start.  They have an awesome team there to assist you.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Many States Changing Child Custody & Alimony Laws

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Lawmakers in many States are revisiting child custody, many don’t agree with the old grandfather laws that allow only one parent to have custody.  Many States aren’t giving one party alimony for the remainder of his or her life.  Colorado is very active in making new divorce changes in 2014 and other States will follow.

The “best interest of the children “is in the spotlight now – many feel that shared parenting serves the children much better.  Many States are organizing task forces to review old family laws on child custody and some already are starting to make new changes in the custody law.

2014 divorce may actually be about shared custody allowing both parents time to interact and raise the children.  Actually when you think about the children who pack their bags to visit with one parent for a couple of days a month – it’s pretty sad.  What must the children think? 

Arkansas is tracking the custody situation by giving parents equal or shared time with the children from broken homes.  At this time it’s just an experiment that is being tracked and it will take some time to analyze the outcome over a period of time.

South Dakota, Massachusetts and other States are making changes, so check with your Government site, pull up divorce and study family law on child custody.  If you’re unable to find the information go to a court in your area and ask them if there are any new child custody changes for 2014.

This child custody issue is very controversial; there are those of course who want to stick with the old family laws saying they are in the “best interest” of the children.  While others are saying it’s so much healthier for children to have both parents taking part in their lives such as school, extra - curricular activities and mentoring.

Along with the recent changes in many State’s alimony laws it would behoove those filing for divorce to check out child custody and alimony laws for 2014.  In many States the little lady doesn’t get alimony for the rest of her live, nor does one parent pay all child care and custody if both have good paying jobs.  So there’s a lot to learn before filing those divorce papers.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce - Dads Beware!

Hey, Dads it’s time to wake up, crawl out of the world of complacency and stop believing that you’re soon to be ex is watching out for you.  The truth is as we humans all know there comes a time in life that you opt to stop the foolishness and take care of number one – often it’s a dirty war out there when divorce lands in your lap.

Don’t assume your little “use to be best friend” will want to divide assets fairly, or go easy on alimony payments or child support.  Usually that person has second thoughts about what fairness, consideration and kindness really mean.  They turn into a bloody vulture and decide to destroy your hopes of a future – they will attempt to break your bank and leave you with a broken bank.

Not all women react the way that is described above, but a large percentage if it’s a contentious divorce is on the hunt and waiting for the kill.  Don’t be the prey!

There are precautions that a man can take before being drug through the streets of divorce.  A consultation with an attorney (usually free) is a good first step.  Go to your state’s government site and study divorce and family laws in your State. 

Learn how to calculate child support, which most Government sites will walk you through – that way you won’t be blind-sided in divorce court.  Remember you will need a home, apartment or some kind of housing when the divorce is finalized.  Check out rent etc. and possibly you’ll need a vehicle too, if there is only one in the family.

If your spouse quit her job to stay at home and raise the children, you’re probably going to pay alimony.  If you want to share custody of the children, be sure you can give the divorce judge proof that you’ve been a good parent and have a decent place for the children when they come to visit. 

Don’t assume that your divorce will be different and everyone will live happily ever after – be proactive and take charge of your life.  If you’re going to represent yourself in Court learn how to serve divorce papers, answer interrogatories and fill out divorce forms correctly. 

Brush up on family law in your State - Findlaw is a very helpful website that has some very good information on divorce, alimony, child support etc.

Remember the best interests of the children usually are the divorce judge’s number one priority.  Those going pro se should learn Court protocol and how to prepare a winning divorce case.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Are You Ready for Divorce Court?

Most pro se divorce litigants aren't prepared for divorce court  - statistics suggest that over 50% of pro se litigants leave the courtroom feeling beat up, rejected and lost. There are several very important things that a pro se litigant should considering doing before he or she even files for divorce. Here are a few suggestions if you're contemplating divorce.

Study your State's family laws and consider having a consult with a divorce attorney even if you're planning on representing yourself. Usually your first consult is free - sometimes a consult will save you from making major errors when filing for divorce.

Once you've decided to represent yourself in court, you've acknowledged that you're now wearing the hat of legal counsel. Check your state's Government site and learn how to file divorce papers, stay within the Statute of Limitations and follow the correct procedures when serving papers on  your spouse.

Study everything you can get your hands on about division of marital assets, child support, alimony and pre nuptials (if you or your spouse have prenuptials.) Study courtroom procedures - address the judge as "your honor" not Mr. or Mrs. Johnson. Learn how to prepare your case for court and how to eliminate the "he said, she said" testimony.

There are self help divorce venues in your State, find out how to do interrogatories correctly or how to request temporary orders until the divorce is final. Temporary orders cover child custody, alimony, who remains in the home, who pays the mortgage payments and who is responsible for health insurance etc. until the divorce is finalized. These orders are strictly temporary and may be changed by the judge when he or she makes their final decisions.

There's absolutely no good reason to go to court totally unprepared - this requires determination and diligence on your part. It's sort of like preparing to prepare - do your homework first. Go back several years gather up receipts, create a children's log showing which party has been the primary caregiver, get check stubs, credit card bills, mortgage information, retirement funds - get hard copies of anything and everything that you and your spouse have or are responsible for...

 You have a choice here - you can let your emotions and anger dictate your actions or you can methodically take time to prepare a winning divorce case.

To know what you know and what you do not know, that is true knowledge.
Confucius 

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little tboca

Divorce - Men Definitely from Different Planet

No doubt men and women come from a different planet or so it seems. When it comes to divorce the little women gets engaged and plunges headlong into the many facets of divorce. She's more than a little bit pro active, because her anger and emotions have kicked in big time. Often times, she's not logical nor willing to communicate because in her eyes she's right and you're just plain wrong.

This person that you took the marriage vowels with has just gone south from friend, soul mate to number one enemy. In her mind she wants the house, the kids and even the kitchen sink. Of course not all women approach divorce this way, but a very large percentage goes for the "gusto" big alimony, the house, the children and child support. Family law were created to protect both parties, yet these laws can be misused and abused.

Men usually approach divorce in an entirely different manner.  First they believe that even though divorce is imminent that his spouse will be honest, fair and forthright when it comes to their divorce. That's the first biggest mistake, this person is no longer your partner nor does she worry about your feelings or future at this time.

Next mistake is assuming that the laws of our land are in place that will protect you come hell or high water, but this is strictly an old wives' tale.  Family laws can be manipulated by legal counsel until you will look like the scum of the earth.

Hopefully this will be a wake up call for some men.  Take the time to check you states' family laws regarding divorce.  Find out about division of marital assets, child custody and each spouse's obligations. Prepare yourself next with some hard questions for a divorce attorney and at least have a free consultation. Often times it better to work two jobs and have legal counsel than to try to fly on your own.  At least after your consultation you'll be better prepared and know what to expect.

If your're going pro se, then start studying the family laws in your State. Go to your State government site and put divorce in the search box.  Next learn how to build a powerful case for court - be prepared to stay up into the wee hours of the night studying. It's your life, your future and your hard earned money that's involved.

Building a divorce case is pretty much like taking on the job of a detective. Learn to document, organize and arrange your case by time, subject and date. A great place to start would be at www.caseboss.com - they are offering their website for one year free without any hidden expenses.

 Free is free - just take your time to do the homework and email their great team if you're in the dark and don't know how to start.  They have an awesome team there to assist you.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca