What is Your Parenting Plan

Do it yourself divorce can become very complicated if there are children involved. Here’s one more thing on your plate that is something both parents need to create before arriving in divorce court. 

Without a parenting plant the family law judge is left to clean up the parenting mess, because parents can’t reach an agreement. Child custody is a critical issue of divorce and without a doubt one of the most contentious matters in the family law court.

The family law judge makes decision based on the “best interest” of the children. If both parents can lay aside the marital disagreements briefly and work together creating a parenting plan that specifically supports the child or children emotionally and physically it can be a win win situation for parents and children.

If one parent is seeking sole custody of the children, he or she must provide evidence or information showing the other parent as unfit. Sole custody is often granted if one spouse has a criminal history, abusive or addicted to drugs or alcohol. Sole custody is granted at times, but not without substantial proof that one parent hasn’t been involved in parenting or is incapable due to personal issues to be a substantial parent.   

If one parent is granted sole legal custody they make decisions about education, health and well being of the child or children and can make decisions about the faith environment they will be raised in…

Joint custody is just what it sounds like, both parents work together making decision in the best interest of their children. Physical custody refers to the amount of time each parent has with the children – most parents can create a feasible plan including the handling of holidays, summer vacation and time spent with each parent. 

Bottom line is this, if father and mother can’t agree on the custody issues, the judge must intervene and decide custody based on the “best interest” of the children. 

Divorce is super charged with emotion, anger and often times the intense desire of one or both spouses to punish each other. Parents should attempt to be rational about custody of the children and present a parenting plan to the judge that is in the “best interest” of the children.  Without a parenting plan both parties are at the mercy of the court and the judge will be the final decision maker. 

http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/divorce/article33.asp

As Always,

Little Tboca

How Child Custody is Determined

www.caseboss.com

The “Best Interest of the Children” is a phrase worth remembering.  If your divorce is being contested, the judge may be the one who has to make the final custody decisions.  The priority of most family law judges is the children, because technically they are acting as a liaison for the children.  Thank goodness divorce judges put the children first.

If the parents can work out the custody situation together actually thinking about the best interest of their child or children, it can be a win win situation for both parents and the children.

When both parents have been equal or almost equal caregivers, possibly joint custody would be a good choice. This allows parents to make decisions for the children on education, health, extra curricular activities, religion etc. Joint custody does appear best for the parents and/or children - when the children are shuffled back from one home to the other it may be a hard adjustment for the children to make.

Judges will delve into the joint custody issue, because he or she wants to feel that both parents are accountable, responsible and capable of making decisions together in the best interest of the child or children.  It’s a difficult call for a judge, because they are trying to decide if both parents are equal in their parenting capabilities and if both parents can work as a team to mentor, love and care for the little ones. 

Physical custody and legal custody are often intertwined.  The physical piece of this type custody means the child will live with one parent the majority of the time. This parent is considered the “custodial parent.”

The non custodial parent may be granted physical custody which means he or she will be a decision maker in important issues like health, education and religion etc.

With unmarried parents, laws in most states favor giving the mother sole custody if in fact she has demonstrated that she is a good parent. If the mother is unable to care for the child, the other parent (father) usually gets custody.

Family law judges get beaten up for making the tough custody decisions, but remember they consider the child first and what is in the “best interest of the child.”  

Custody of the children is the toughest decision family law judges must make, because sometimes it seems both parents have shared equal responsibility in rearing the children.  At times when the child or children are older the judge may talk with them and ask them their preferences. 

It is a good idea to check out your state’s family laws specifically the child custody laws regarding primary caregivers. Both parents should try to make the best choice for the children and not use the children as pawns in their divorce.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Parents Who Agree on Child Custody Prior to Divorce

Child custody is a tough issue for parents to resolve. Sometimes if they can remove their personal anger and emotions from the mix a decision an agreeable decision can be made by both parents. Deciding what is in the "best interest" of the child or children before your divorce is without a doubt the best route to take unless there is abuse, neglect or addiction present with one or both spouses.

Often times one parent has been the primary caregiver of the children during the marriage and the child or children depend solely upon that parent for comforting and caring for them. Taking the children away from this person is a devastating experience for a child and totally unnecessary if both parents work out a plan together to make decisions that are in the "best interest" of the children.  

By working out a child custody plan in advance, the family law judge realizes that both parents are looking out for their children. Personal issues have been laid aside and the parents have come to a reasonable agreement - this pleases the judge and he or she usually takes this plan into consideration. 

The most difficult part of a divorce for the judge is the child custody issue.  If the divorce is contentious and both parties are using the children as pawns, the judge must follow the family laws and do what is best for the children. 

If there were a perfect picture for the child custody issue, it would be when both parents want to be caregivers and make the important decisions on health, schooling, education, extra curricular activities etc. Joint custody or shared custody may be good options and this depends upon the parents being able to agree what is best for their child or children.

Joint custody entails the tasks and responsibilities each parent is capable of giving to their children. This usually means that one parent may have more physical time with the children, but the children still get to interact with both parents on a regular basis.

Shared custody in a nutshell is just that - both parents share an equal amount of time with the children. Usually with good parents this type of custody is less disruptive for the children. 

But the good thing is this - if parents can decide upon a feasible parenting plan for the children, the family law judge will definitely go along with the parent's decision. The divorce judge is the "liaison" for the children and he or she places the children at the top of their priorities. Don't mess with the judge when it comes to the "best interest" of the children!

Divorce is a devastating and fracturing experience to children and often times it scars them for the rest of their lives. Each parent is to be commended if he or she consider the children first when contemplating or going through divorce. This isn't a dollar and cents issue - do what is best for the children. Time is the most precious gift that one can give to their children.  

Children need your presence or time, not lavish gifts.  

As Always,

Little Tboca