Best Interest of the Children - Divorce

Family law judges and divorce attorneys will say the best interest of the children is a priority in a divorce case. It’s not a secret that most family law judges make children their priority when handing down their final divorce decision.  

If you are a pro se litigant you’re filing or have filed for divorce, understand that the children come first in most divorces. 

Obviously family law judges should make final divorce decisions for both parties by determining what the “best interest" for the child or children.”  

But, the laws of our land serve as guidelines and some judges take it upon themselves to step outside of this window which at times isn’t in the “best interest” of the children. 

Here is an example of the "best interests" of the children written by an outstanding judge’s judge now retired.  Her history on the bench will show that the children came first when making final divorce decisions.  Judge Ann Kass said the “best interests” of children had many meanings and she took all precautions when children were involved in divorce.  

http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/kass2.html

Prepare your case for your day in court, but be sure you make the children your priority.  What is truly best for the child or children - who has been the primary caregiver?  Which parent has the time and desire to put the children first? What are the wishes of the children?  Are both parents emotionally stable and capable of mentoring and raising the children, if so joint custody is an excellent choice? 

Here is an excellent site that discusses children, parenting and divorce.  http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/children-and-divorce-221.shtml

It was one of those ridiculous arrangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced—when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination. ~ John Irving

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Marriage Takes a Thrashing - Divorce

Marriage without a true commitment usually ends up in divorce court. Pro se divorce has become the norm – family law judges are left with the shattered pieces of a marriage and expected to deliver favorable decisions. Divorce statistics show that over half of the marriages end up in divorce. 

There was a time when shacking up, opting for single parenthood and same sex marriages wasn’t the norm – but in 2013 Americans participate in all of the above without ever considering consequences. Children raised without a father’s influence is the norm – somewhere around 20 to 30 million children are without a father figure.

"Ominously, the most reliable predictor of crime is neither poverty nor race but growing up fatherless." 
Fortune Magazine

Georgia Supreme Court Chief Justice Leah Ward Sears said recently, “ children born to unmarried women and to those in cohabiting relationships "must often overcome increased risks of poverty, education failure, child abuse, delinquency, emotional distress and mental illness."……the lack of a father's guidance in children's lives is a major cause of their suffering. "Marriage is the best child welfare, crime prevention, anti-poverty program we have," 

Isn’t it ironic that two consenting adults ignore the horrific consequences that occur from their selfish desire to do as they please without taking responsibility for the children that they bring into this world. 

As the norm changes so do the traditional values once associated with marriage.  Love, honor and obey till death do us part has been relegated to the ancient history shelves – the nonchalant attitude in many marriage isn’t based on vows but on convenience, material things and finances.  It’s sort of the old adage that two heads are better than one – two paychecks, a bed partner and a path to materialism.

Both parties enter the marriage with a “try it see if we like it” attitude actually the only commitment if one could call it that is we’ll give marriage a try, but divorce is their get out of jail free card. 

A High Court family judge, Sir Paul Coleridge suggests couples should not have children unless they have a stable relationship. Divorce is at epidemic proportions and is once again the norm in the USA. Something is definitely wrong with this picture. 

No one is pointing their finger at the people who wish to cohabitate, but everyone should be concerned for the children from these adults who are left to fend for themselves.  They’re the latch key kids or the children who are raised by the daycare technicians and schools – is it any wonder that this group of children struggle in their adult lives? 

As Always,

Little Tboca

What Divorce Judges Hate

Judges are human, have feelings and need a little coddling now and then.  They don’t like their courtroom in disarray with spouses acting like hyenas in for the kill.  Nor do they like litigants who come to court expecting a “pitty party.” 

The judge has a very small window of time to hear your divorce and make his or her decision. Without realizing it, what you do and how you act in court impacts your case. 

For the women, if you’re dressed like a hooker don’t expect any special favors from the judge, this is especially true if there are children involved.  In fact you’ve already shown disrespect for the judge in his or her courtroom.

Same things goes for the men, arriving in court dressed like Fred Flintstone, looking like you’ve just crawled out of bed probably will get you a couple of bad dings before divorce proceedings start.

The judge is very perceptive and your body language can be extremely disruptive if you’re shaking your head, pointing your finger or shooting daggers at your soon to be ex.  The judge has a job to do - speak when spoken to and don’t turn the courtroom into a backyard brawl.

The fact that two people are appearing before a divorce judge probably means that the divorce is contested and very little is agreed upon – so do yourself a favor and follow the family law rules courtroom etiquette.   

The judge has your future in his or her hands. What does coddling the judge mean? It merely means that one should act respectful and behave appropriately in his or hers courtroom.  Your demeanor and actions in court will affect the judge’s final decision.

Refer to the judge as “your honor” not Judge Wilson, talk to the judge not to the soon to be ex or his or her attorney.  Give special attention to your attire and body language.  Never argue with the judge – present a strong case in court with verified proof of bills you have paid, parenting of the children including time spent with children, additional expenses since filing for divorce etc… 

When speaking to the judge, always include the spouse saying our children, our liabilities, our assets and our relationship. Give the judge the necessary tools to grant you a favorable decision – leave emotions out of the courtroom.  Stay on task – your job is to get a favorable decision from the judge.  Don’t play Russian roulette in the courtroom!

As Always,

Little Tboca