Don’t assume this old adage is true, “a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client.” A pro se divorce litigant contemplating divorce can overcome all odds by learning how to fill out divorce forms and building a fact based case for his or her day in court. So why do 70 or 80 % of pro se litigants fall on their face in court?
Why didn’t the divorce judge listen to you? Why did he or she hand down an unfavorable decision in your behalf? Have family laws been compromised? Or was the judge swamped with personal problems and having a bad hair day?
These are all of the questions that keep going thru your head as you leave the courtroom. What you experienced in court was gut wrenching – it felt like you were swimming against the rapids losing ground by the minute and finally dumped over the water falls.
First of all you decided to represent yourself (pro se) and inadvertently made some major errors. You forgot a few signatures on your divorce papers and didn’t answer or understand how to fill out interrogatories.
When one person has legal counsel and the other party is representing themselves, the pro se litigant has two strikes against them before arriving in court. Your spouse’s attorney may chew you up and render you helpless. He or she may present a dirty laundry list against you that would turn any judge’s head.
For the pro se litigants contemplating or going thru divorce there isn’t any easy fix or miraculous formula that will insure a favorable decisions from the judge unless you’re prepared to take the time to equip yourself with information that will empower you in court.
First and foremost before filing for divorce go back a couple of years and start building a powerful case. “He said, she said” testimony is a waste of time in court – it takes proof, hard evidence to back up statements in the courtroom.
If children are involved, the judge will make decisions in the “best interest” of the children. Prove that you have been the primary caregiver of the children, show bills, paid receipts, time interacting with the children and show that the children have been and are your priority.
Not knowing family law or courtroom procedure may leave you feeling victimized by the judge, your spouse and his or her attorney. Ignorance of family law or the judicial system is a feeble excuse – excuses don’t win court cases. Sure fired ways to irritate the judge include, (1) Divorce forms not filled out correctly, (2) Emotional outbreaks in the courtroom, and (3) Disobeying courtroom protocol.
Your day in court wasn’t a dress rehearsal allowing you a second chance to present your case to the judge. What you didn’t know and didn’t do will haunt you the rest of your life. One day in court, one small window of time to present your divorce case – how you handle this will affect you for the rest of your life.
As Always,
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