Divorce Attorneys - Aren't the Bad Guys

I have been following a local divorce attorney in Arizona who offers a hand up to those contemplating or going through divorce.  He’s aware of the many problems that exist in the not so friendly divorce environment and he’s the proof that many attorneys are professional hard working people and they aren’t just out to scam you and take your money. 

It only takes a few bad apples to sour people on attorneys, the majority of our attorneys are good men and women who want to assist their clients and give them the best representation possible in a court of law. 

I’ve blogged many times about pro se litigants hoping they realize that although they have a right to represent themselves they also have an enormous amount of responsibilities that accompanies this right of self - representation. 

Statistics report that over 50% of the pro se divorce litigants don’t receive a favorable decision from the family law judge.  It’s time to stop blaming the judge and /or attorneys and do your homework.  The judge needs hard evidence and facts from the litigant to back up his or her statements.  The divorce attorney can’t win a case if the litigant refuses or neglects to produce the necessary documents that are requested.

Here is the email that I received today from this attorney – I believe there’s a lot of information that will help those going through or contemplating divorce.  No, I don’t work for this attorney, nor have I ever met him, but it only makes sense to publish this awesome email. 

Tip #1. Begin your divorce education today.

You need to educate yourself on the family law issues relevant to your unique circumstances. This is one time when you really do need to do your homework, or you will pay the price for your lack of focus and understanding. We have designed this website for you, so take full advantage of the legal information and resources available here -- it's convenient and it's free. When you set aside time to learn about an issue, child visitation for example, the more quickly you will grasp the legalities that your attorney needs to convey to you. The more quickly you grasp how the law applies to your case, the less you'll pay in attorney fees. We believe our website to be the most comprehensive family law resource in Arizona. We feature a discussion forum where people get their questions answered by a family law attorney. We have a child support calculator so parents know what to expect with support obligations. In our extensive collection of easy-to-understand legal articles, we discuss important court cases and the laws affecting Arizona families. We have a special section devoted to military divorce and our service men and women. We also have free seminar videos on divorce and other family law matters, available to watch at your convenience when you need the help. Our website is a terrific resource for you and will significantly improve your legal knowledge. That knowledge will manifest itself in your improved efficiency, both in discussions with your attorney and in negotiations with your spouse.

Tip #2. If at all possible, avoid litigation to resolve disputed issues.

Litigation is a very expensive method of resolving issues in your family law case, so it should be avoided whenever possible. Never use litigation as a means to punish your spouse or the other parent. You do have other very useful options. Whenever possible, agreeing to alternative dispute resolution methods (negotiation, mediation, ADR settlement conferences) to resolve as many issues as possible, if not all of them, will save you time and money. In that way, only the issues that simply cannot be agreed to are left for the court to decide with finality.

Tip #3. If you and your spouse agree on something, then write it down.

When you and your spouse come to an agreement on an issue, such as parenting time during summer vacations, then write it down. That is one less issue to be resolved through negotiation, mediation, or litigation. You may actually find that you and your spouse are in agreement on a fair number of the major decisions that must be made.

Tip #4. Make sure the fee arrangement is reasonable before you hire the attorney.

You need a lawyer who tells you upfront what the attorney fees will be. No attorney can predict what is going to happen as your case evolves, but he or she can anticipate the proceedings and how many attorney hours will be involved at each step. The attorney's billable rate must be discussed at the initial consultation, otherwise you'll have no idea what costs to expect. You need to know how you will be billed, how much of a "retainer fee" is required, and so on, so you can budget your costs throughout the case. The last thing you need is an attorney who routinely delays and drags things out, that approach to divorce will only cost you more money. You deserve efficiency and proficiency, nothing less.

Tip #5. Apply a cost-benefit analysis to every issue.

Not every issue is worth fighting over, so be practical and selective about what you want to spend your attorney dollars on. Don't let your emotions and frustrations obscure your rational thinking. When you look at an issue with a cost-benefit perspective, you'll stay focused on getting the divorce finished and done with. For example, if you had to choose, would you prefer to pay your attorney to negotiate over a used-toaster with your spouse's attorney? Or would you prefer to pay your attorney to negotiate spousal support? Which is really more important? It may seem silly, but people do get caught up in their emotions and what they perceive to be a fairness issue. When it comes to negotiations, focus on the important issues and let the little things, however frustrating, go by the wayside.

Tip #6. Letting your spouse's lawyer do all the work will cost you in the end.

Your spouse's lawyer may be a real nice person, but he or she doesn't work for you and is not looking out for your interests. Your penny-wise savings in letting opposing counsel determine your future will almost certainly be pound-foolish in the end.

Tip #7. You can do a lot of the work yourself, and that will save you money and help your attorney.

The time you take to be fully prepared will save you money. When your attorney asks for photocopies of all of your financial accounts, for example, be thorough and provide complete copies. You want your attorney to be businesslike and efficient, you should be the same. Utilize your attorney's time, don't waste it. 

You don't need to speak with your attorney, for instance, when your paralegal has the information for you. No matter which member of your legal team is on the telephone, keep your conversations organized and to the point. When you have a conference scheduled with your attorney, be fully prepared in advance. When in negotiations, take reasonable positions.

Always keep in mind the need to steer clear of litigation if possible. Remember, time is money, and it is your money that we're talking about.

Sincerely,

Scott David Stewart
Attorney

www.sdsfamilylaw.com

http://www.arizonalawgroup.com/

As Always,

Little Tboca

Courtroom Behavior

Judges are human, have feelings and need a little coddling now and then.  They don’t like their courtroom in disarray with spouses acting like hyenas in for the kill.  Nor do they like litigants who come to court expecting a “pitty party.” 

The judge has a very small window of time to hear your divorce and make his or her decision. Without realizing it, what you do and how you act in court impacts your case. 

For the women, if you’re dressed like a hooker don’t expect any special favors from the judge, this is especially true if there are children involved.  In fact you’ve already shown disrespect for the judge in his or her courtroom.

Same things goes for the men, arriving in court dressed like Fred Flintstone, looking like you’ve just crawled out of bed probably will get you a couple of bad dings before divorce proceedings start.

The judge is very perceptive and your body language can be extremely disruptive if you’re shaking your head, pointing your finger or shooting daggers at your soon to be ex. The judge has a job to do - speak when spoken to and don’t turn the courtroom into a backyard brawl.

The fact that two people are appearing before a divorce judge probably means that the divorce is contested and very little is agreed upon – so do yourself a favor and follow the family law rules courtroom etiquette.   

The judge has your future in his or her hands. What does coddling the judge mean? It merely means that one should act respectful and behave appropriately in his or hers courtroom.  Your demeanor and actions in court will affect the judge’s final decision.

Refer to the judge as “your honor” not Judge Wilson, talk to the judge not to the soon to be ex or his or her attorney.  Give special attention to your attire and body language. Never argue with the judge – present a strong case in court with verified proof of bills you have paid, parenting of the children including time spent with children, additional expenses since filing for divorce etc… 

When speaking to the judge, always include the spouse saying our children, our liabilities, our assets and our relationship. Give the judge the necessary tools to grant you a favorable decision – leave emotions out of the courtroom.  Stay on task – your job is to get a favorable decision from the judge.  Don’t play Russian roulette in the courtroom!  www.caseboss.com

As Always,

Little Tboca     

Divorce - Self Representation

So often pro se divorce isn’t the pathway to freedom – it isn’t a get out of jail free card.  Although pro se divorce is marketed, publicized and promoted as the latest and greatest, there isn’t any miraculous cure for pro se divorce litigants. Do it yourself divorce or pro se divorce has many hidden problems that need to be addressed. 

The Judicial system throughout the country is trying to assist the litigants by offering workshops and self help venues. There are great divorce websites on the Internet that offer free information and assistance to those contemplating divorce, but there are many Internet sites that prey on pro se litigant wanting their money. 

Don’t fall victim to the Internet sites that tout divorce as fast and easy – those sites play on emotions. Divorce that involves alimony, child custody, child support and division of property isn’t easy. Filling out divorce papers on time is a risk and it’s your life and future that is involved, what appears easy, inexpensive can cost much more than taking the time to do it right.

It’s best to control anger and emotions before jumping off the cliff into a lion’s den.  If divorce is the only option, take time studying the family laws in your State – learn what your options really are before diving into divorce.

Wearing the hat of legal counsel can be grueling and difficult. The Judicial system isn’t exactly user friendly – it takes hours of study and homework to understand how to maneuver within the divorce laws of your State.

In many ways the laws concerning self representation seem to confuse rather than assist litigants. It merely means that you are granted the right to present your divorce case in court without legal counsel – it doesn’t offer anything more than the legal right to represent yourself.

End of conversation, this law doesn’t insure a favorable decision from the judge, legal assistance from the court staff or any other options.  What you see is what you get –before going pro se remember it can be very costly by negatively affecting your future. 

Statistics show that pro se litigants are losing what is rightfully theirs in divorce court, because they fail follow the laws in their State. The pro se litigant can’t continue blaming judges or attorneys – it is their responsibility to follow family laws as established in their State. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

2 Strikes Before You Get to Court

Divorce is up – will you hit a home run or strike out?  Sounds a bit crazy, but check out the “don’ts” first, because they may result in a strikeout before the balls even pitched your way.

So often it’s the little things that many people consider insignificant that is an irritant to the judge.

First of all your appearance is important, don’t dress like farmer Jones or Susie hot pants. Beware, your body language can be a dead give away – smirking, shaking your head, clenching fists and shooting daggers at your soon to be ex won’t win you any brownie points with the judge.

If you’re a pro se litigant don’t walk into court with an armload of loose papers decorated with a bunch of post it notes. Pertinent information should be organized and neatly packaged. Don’t antagonize the judge, chuck the yehs, huhs and shrugs at the door – address the judge as “your honor” and put on your best suit of manners showing respect to the man or women who has your future in the palm of their hands. 

Don’t forget to fill out interrogatories correctly and don’t miss a scheduled court date. You have a right to represent yourself - having said that you have certain responsibilities too!

Now for the “Do’s” that will give you a home run. Get your divorce forms from the court or go on line to your State’s government website and download them. Check on the Statute of Limitations and verify which court will hear your divorce. Learn the laws in your state before  serving papers. 

Do your paperwork, double check each form and make sure your signature is legible. Do study courtroom procedure and study your State’s divorce laws. Always address the judge not your spouse or his or her legal council when speaking.

Going to court totally organized is the icing on the cake that will help you get your home run. Take time to prepare a winning case for your day in court. Organize your documents, tag them correctly, compile all bills, receipts and data in an orderly manner by date, time and subject.

There is help out there for those contemplating or going through a divorce. CaseBoss has offered to help people prepare their divorce case. Two important things: (1) This service is absolutely free, and (2) CaseBoss has a team ready to assist you and answer questions.  Go to www.caseboss.com get started today. No charges - it's free!

As Always,

Little Tboca

   

Did You Forget a Parenting Plan

Do it yourself divorce can become very complicated if there are children involved. Here’s one more thing on your plate that is something both parents need to create before arriving in divorce court. 

Without a parenting plant the family law judge is left to clean up the parenting mess, because parents can’t reach an agreement. Child custody is a critical issue of divorce and without a doubt one of the most contentious matters in the family law court.

The family law judge makes decision based on the “best interest” of the children. If both parents can lay aside the marital disagreements briefly and work together creating a parenting plan that specifically supports the child or children emotionally and physically it can be a win win situation for parents and children.

If one parent is seeking sole custody of the children, he or she must provide evidence or information showing the other parent as unfit. Sole custody is often granted if one spouse has a criminal history, abusive or addicted to drugs or alcohol. Sole custody is granted at times, but not without substantial proof that one parent hasn’t been involved in parenting or is incapable due to personal issues to be a substantial parent.   

If one parent is granted sole legal custody they make decisions about education, health and well being of the child or children and can make decisions about the faith environment they will be raised in…

Joint custody is just what it sounds like, both parents work together making decision in the best interest of their children. Physical custody refers to the amount of time each parent has with the children – most parents can create a feasible plan including the handling of holidays, summer vacation and time spent with each parent. 

Bottom line is this, if father and mother can’t agree on the custody issues, the judge must intervene and decide custody based on the “best interest” of the children. 

Divorce is super charged with emotion, anger and often times the intense desire of one or both spouses to punish each other. Parents should attempt to be rational about custody of the children and present a parenting plan to the judge that is in the “best interest” of the children.  Without a parenting plan both parties are at the mercy of the court and the judge will be the final decision maker. 

http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/divorce/article33.asp

As Always,

Little Tboca

A Winning Divorce Case

What is a winning divorce case?  Are you willing to roll up your sleeves and do your homework? Your future depends upon your ability to gather real facts, hard evidence that will support your statements in court.

Learn how to build a powerful divorce case for your day in court. It's the only way to eliminate the he said, she said testimony.

Free access

No hidden charges

www.caseboss.com

Don't lose the Little Duck

It seems a bit outdated to speak about getting your ducks all in a row, but it’s a proven fact if you forget the last duck your day in court may be disastrous. That last little duck is the secret that loses many divorce cases – without that little duck you don’t have a strong case to present to the judge.

Let’s assume you’ve filed divorce papers, followed state laws on serving your spouse, have temporary orders in place and answered all interrogatories. It would appear that you’ve been diligent in doing your homework and the judge’s decision should be in your favor.

Did you forget that the judge literally holds your life in his or her hands? The judge has a small window of time to hear your case and your spouse has all of his or her ducks in a row. They have prepared a case backed by hard facts eliminating the “he said, she said” testimony – they can back all of their statements with paid receipts, accurate timelines and verifiable proof. 

Don’t be a loser and walk out of court thinking what you should have, could have but didn’t do… Help is just a click of the mouse away! 

Check out www.caseboss.com – the boss that works for you. Here you’ll find information on preparing a divorce case along with support from a great team who will assist you in preparing. This service is free, no strings or hidden agendas to those contemplating or in the midst of a divorce.  Very few things in life are free, but this is one time you’ll discover free assistance, answers to your questions and free support.

Go to www.caseboss.com  and start building a powerful case for your day in court. 

As Always,