What About the Grandparents?

What about the grandparents?  Why are they often times left out of the divorce picture – they’ve helped raise, mentor and love the children and now they are no longer allowed to continue their beautiful relationship with the grandchildren.  Grandparents, you have rights – fight for them.

Decisions are made in the “best interest” of the children and you may well be the missing piece that your grandchildren need. Don’t just wring your hands and walk away, contact an attorney and ask for legal advice and assistance.  Each State has laws that actually protect grandparents “rights” and if you’ve been an active participating person in the children’s lives, you’ll get more than a nod.

It may be a good idea to gather up some factual information before your first free consult with an attorney.  Try to show via pictures, birthdays, holidays, vacations etc. how you’ve been actively involved with your grandchildren. You want to prove that your relationship with the grandchildren is special and that you’ve been a devoted participant in their lives.  

If you present your case to the courts, be prepared to answer all questions about your relationship with the grandchildren. Be prepared to tell the judge how often you would like to visit with your grandchildren.  If the children are very small and you’ve moved out of State, this definitely could pose a problem, but maybe you could ask to spend a portion of the holidays or their birthdays with them.

Explaining your relationship with the custodial parent prior to divorce proceedings will help the judge make a decision – if it’s been stormy weather and extensive conflict with the custodial parent prior to the divorce this will be taken under consideration also.

The important question in court will be why the custodial parent refused you visitation rights with the grandchildren. Do they have a valid reason or is it merely a payback and punishment against their ex spouse?  How the custodial parent thinks grandparent’s visitation would harm the children?

Yes, grandparents have rights and many times continuing communication and visitation with the grandchildren is in the “best interest” of the children.  As a grandparent, I have been actively involved in my grandchildren’s lives and have helped raise each of them – there’s no way in h- - -, that I would allow my grandparent’s rights to be taken away.  

As Always,

Little Tboca

Represent Yourself in Divorce Court

So you’ve made a decision to represent yourself (Pro se) in divorce court. The decision was due to finances, your intense dislike of attorneys or your perception that you are the best person available to represent yourself in divorce court. Statistics show that pro se divorce is the new fad – so it’s your turn to prepare for your day in court.

Statistics also show that a large percentage of pro se litigants leave the courtroom with their bucket half empty. They assumed that because they were representing themselves everyone and his brother would offer a helping hand – wrong, judges don’t have the time to take you by the hand and the court staff isn’t allowed to offer legal advice.

Pro se litigants want their cake and want to eat it too – they don’t want to pay for legal counsel, they don’t want to learn family law rules and procedures and they darn sure aren’t going to take time to attend divorce seminars and workshops that are offered through our judicial system. 

The pro se litigant is flying by the seat of his or her pants and most likely will suffer an unmerciful beating in court – the American Bar Association and over 1200 judges that were interviewed say the pro se litigants lose more than they should in divorce court.

No doubt it makes one feel better if they can blame someone for their shortcomings, but the bottom-line is this – it isn’t the judge’s fault, or the fault of your ex’s legal counsel, nor the judicial system. You didn’t do your homework or prepare a solid case for your day in court.

This information comes from the American Bar Association, “Not knowing the legal requirements or procedural rules, omitting important signatures, not following Court schedule, missing deadlines are but a few of the problems that Pro Se litigants experience.” 

A few other problems that weaken your divorce case is not knowing the Statute of Limitations in your State, not knowing how to fill out interrogatories, not knowing how to serve papers legally on your spouse and the pre-conceived idea that everyone owes you a handout.

Divorce is tough, one day in court and a small window of time to present your case to a family law judge. Don’t end up in divorce court with a bunch of lose papers, receipts and sticky notes – build a case that is airtight and strive for a favorable decision from the judge.  Go to www.caseboss.com – there isn’t any charge and you have a great team at your fingertips to answer questions for 1 year without any charges.

Quit shuffling thru papers, learn how to organize documents by day, time and subject – learn how to create specific reports, tag information and prepare a strong case.  

As Always,
Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Infidelity in a Marriage Deadly

Is infidelity in a marriage taken into consideration by a family law judge?  If you’re in a no fault state, it probably isn’t going to be a deciding factor in your divorce. Infidelity will cause problems when the cheater tries to get their spouse to agree on a tentative settlement. It is only human nature to fight back when one feels betrayed or rejected; it’s the one trump card that the jilted spouse holds and it’s an extremely powerful card. 

At this point, the spouse no longer feels an inner need to be fair, whatever that may mean.  He or she turns into a banker, accountant, a strategist and what might have been a mutual divorce turns into the wreck of the century. What about the children, who’s is watching out for the children? Two outstanding attorneys always put the children first in their courtroom – neither judge approved of an intimate relationship during the divorce. 

Katherine Eisold Miller is a prominent Collaborative Lawyer and family mediator is now a public educator helping husband and wives choose the best way when divorce is eminent. 

Katherine feels the children should be the priority and encourages parents to make best choices for the children’s sake. She feels an adulteress relationship has very little impact in a no fault state. But, in those states that take fault into consideration the division of property, alimony, child support can be seriously affected.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Katherine%20Eisold%20Miller/

A family law judge (Judge Ann Kass,) from New Mexico always put the children first. She had zero tolerance for those intimately involved in a relationship before the divorce is final. 

http://www.divorcepeers.com/dating-during-divorce.htm

Although New Mexico is a no-fault state, Judge Ann Kass always put the children first. In one of her articles, she said,” But whatever the grown-ups do to themselves, they should absolutely avoid introducing any new companions to their children until the divorce is over and until there is a solid foundation for the new relationship with some reasonable degree of probability that it will last.

If married adults would put the children first, there probably wouldn’t be as many divorces or broken homes. Divorce devours the entire family; no one misses the angry fangs of divorce. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce - Record, Document and Organize

It’s a proven fact that necessity is the “Mother of all inventions or ideas.”  Thomas Edison didn’t like to work by candle light so he invented the light bulb. Old Ben Franklin had problems with his eyesight so he put two lenses together known as bifocals. Steve Jobs was the founder and creator of “Apple.”  Where there’s a need – there’s usually a way to create a product or service that saves time, money and aggravation.

Divorce seems to have a finality, but in fact some divorces last for years.  This creates a need to record, document and organize all information prior to and during your divorce.

Something many people don’t realize is divorce problems can show their ugly heads  years after a divorce is granted if there are children involved.  Picture the ex spouse sitting in your home, collecting alimony, child support and living high on the hog.  All that was left for you was 8 supervised visitation days per month with the children, horrendous legal bills and a broken heart. To make things worse, this person was a pro at manipulating the court system.

As the years passed, you became a frequent flyer in the courtroom – your ex wanted more money because you’d received a promotion, accused you of child molestation, accused you of stalking and the dirty list rambles on… Nothing went your way in the courtroom!

The ex defied the court’s rulings and pretty much got off free as a bird. This devious person refused to get counseling for your child, refused to help your child with homework. This shark spent all of their spare time thinking of ways to snatch more money from you, but one day everything changed.

You received full custody of the child, the ex had to pay their portion of all medical bills for the child, had to go for counseling and was ordered by the court to get a job (no more alimony payments.)  You’d been walking through “hell’ for 12 years, but a light bulb finally went off in your head and you did two things at this point: (1) Eliminated any “he said, she said” evidence, and (2) Created a powerful case for your next court visit.

This person who was beaten up by the judicial system is the boss at www.caseboss.com – the boss who really works for you.  This website will help those going through or contemplating divorce. The caseboss team has openings left for those who want to build a powerful divorce case for their day in court. No charges, no gimmicks or hidden agendas – you have free use of the site for 1 year and access to a team that will answer questions or offer assistance. This is not a legal site.

Until pro se litigants accept the responsibilities that accompany self representation, they will continue to leave the courtroom with head hung low feeling they had been ripped off and the whole world is against them. It’s not easy representing yourself – it takes an extensive amount of homework and energy on your part to prepare for your day in court. 

A story is just a story and everyone going to divorce court has a story to tell.  Be a good detective, take your story and turn it into a powerful divorce case backed with the cold hard facts, paid receipts, documents organized by subject, date and time.  www.caseboss.com  is just a mouse click away.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Social Media & Divorce

Getting up one day and whacking your spouse with the news that you’ve filed for divorce may not be in your best interest.  If divorce looms on the horizon in the near future - here is a good rule of thumb to follow. Don’t let the egg come before the chicken!

It’s not wise to broadcast via Face Book, Twitter or other social media or share with your supposedly best friend that you hate your spouse and intend to pay him or her back. What you say out of anger or runaway emotions on a social venue may in fact affect a judge’s decision. 

It is critical to your future and the future of your children (if children involved) that you make rational well thought out decisions.  Usually it takes two to tango and both parties share responsibility for a marriage crash. If you feel all avenues have been exhausted for repairing the broken marriage, then go forward with Plan A and prepare for your day in court. 

Best idea at this time is to become a good detective – go back several years and gather up all documents that pertain to your assets. Start a journal and keep a daily log of money spent, children’s activities, medical bills, retirement funds and all paid receipts.  Now is the time to record any and all information that will be beneficial to you in court - record credit card bills, medical bills, bank statements etc. 

After doing this extensive homework it’s time to sit down and talk with your spouse.  Don’t let emotions or anger enter into this conversation – it’s a strong possibility that your spouse may want to end the marriage too and is open to a divorce by mutual agreement. This saves both parties the expense of legal counsel or arbitration. 

If on the other hand this turns into a free for all or nasty divorce you need to understand what it means to create a strong powerful case for your day in court. Your objective is to eliminate the “he said, she said” malarkey and replace it with the cold hard facts. 

There is a new company, not launched yet who has openings for those contemplating or going though divorce.  Go to www.caseboss.com   No secret charges or hidden costs involved it's free – you’ll find a great team of people who will answer questions and assist you in your case building. 

As Alway

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce - Beware of Free

As you’re surfing the Internet, you find a maize of divorce websites that offer “free” services for those contemplating or going through a divorce.  It’s human nature to go after the free stuff!  So often the “free” isn’t really free – be cautious and very selective when surfing for divorce assistance.

Divorce forms and information can be located at your State government website – this is a best policy because not all States honor the online divorce forms. Check out the websites that offer divorce support – take the time to find out their history and verify that their site does in fact offer good advice and support.

It's Not Free

Here are a couple of divorce support sites that have an established online presence offering information on family law.  http://www.divorcesupport.com/

http://www.americanbar.org/groups/family_law.html

If you want legal advice, the safest bet is to get a consult with an attorney – usually there isn’t any charge for this service. Like any other profession there’s a few naughty attorneys out there just looking for the next “sucker,” but overall there’s a great bunch of divorce attorneys with stellar reputations.

Pro se litigants beware because the Net has a bunch of vultures out there just waiting to get in you pocketbook. Filing for divorce, filling out interrogatories, learning about the judicial system isn’t easy – don’t fall prey to the sites that promise you the perfect divorce wrapped up in a box with a pretty bow.  It’s the old adage, if it looks to good to be true then????

The American Bar Association says as much as eighty percent of the legal needs of the poor are left unmet.  Pro Se litigants are at a disadvantage due to lack of legal experience and knowledge. There’s no quick cure for this problem, but each State in our Union offers a variety of divorce venues that offer assistance to those going through a divorce.

Here is a new company preparing to launch that offers free assistance to those contemplating or going through a divorce. This company www.caseboss.com will help people for one year prepare a divorce case for their day in court. The service is entirely free – no hidden surprises or last minute charges. They have an outstanding team waiting to answer questions and give you assistance.  www.caseboss.com  .

The majority of pro se litigants don’t realize that the spouse who has taken the time to build a case will probably be the one walking out of the courtroom with a smile on his or her face.  Imagine going to court with a powerful case in hand – documents are organized by date, time and subject.  Financials, paid receipts, liabilities all neatly packaged and ready for your day in court.

www.caseboss.com

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce Judge "Tiger or Pussycat"

Those going through divorce have a plateful, in fact it’s more like a tubful of do’s and don’ts.  If you’re going it alone (pro se,) here’s one more thought to fill your already cluttered mind. Do you know who your judge will be for your day in court?  Do you know how he or she controls the courtroom?  Don’t assume that just because you’re a good person – it will be smooth sailing in the courtroom. 

Are you going in front of a pussycat who wants both litigants to live happily ever after – if so he or she will probably slices the pie right down the middle. The pussy cat thinks it takes two to tango and strives to satisfy both parties.  He’s pleasant and provides a comfortable atmosphere in the courtroom – definitely not power driven!  

What if you find yourself in front of a legal eagle “owl” that follows family law statutes by the book?  He or she won’t budge and a pitty party may give the impression that you’re begging for mercy - that doesn’t sit well with the ole owl. Don’t take it personally, but he won’t budge and you’re about to have the family law book thrown at you.

Then again you may find yourself in front the no nonsense “tiger” and he or she pretty much considers the “he said, she said” testimony as crap and dives for the heart of the divorce.  Children are his or her priority and he’ll do whatever it takes to insure that the children get the best piece of the pie. He is well versed in family law and very capable of making tough decisions when necessary. This judge deserves a big thank you, because he’s honest, knowledgeable and the children are his priority.

No doubt there are a few family law judges who enjoy putting the squeeze on both parties. He or she basks in the power they possess in the courtroom - there won’t be any doubt in your mind that they are in control. Speak only when spoken to and don’t expect any favors.  Whatever you do don’t cross this person because he or she has your future in their hands!

 This article is based on personal experience and each judge has a name – cover your bet by preparing a powerful case for court and knowing your judge’s courtroom DNA. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com