Divorce - Record, Document and Organize

It’s a proven fact that necessity is the “Mother of all inventions or ideas.”  Thomas Edison didn’t like to work by candle light so he invented the light bulb. Old Ben Franklin had problems with his eyesight so he put two lenses together known as bifocals. Steve Jobs was the founder and creator of “Apple.”  Where there’s a need – there’s usually a way to create a product or service that saves time, money and aggravation.

Divorce seems to have a finality, but in fact some divorces last for years.  This creates a need to record, document and organize all information prior to and during your divorce.

Something many people don’t realize is divorce problems can show their ugly heads  years after a divorce is granted if there are children involved.  Picture the ex spouse sitting in your home, collecting alimony, child support and living high on the hog.  All that was left for you was 8 supervised visitation days per month with the children, horrendous legal bills and a broken heart. To make things worse, this person was a pro at manipulating the court system.

As the years passed, you became a frequent flyer in the courtroom – your ex wanted more money because you’d received a promotion, accused you of child molestation, accused you of stalking and the dirty list rambles on… Nothing went your way in the courtroom!

The ex defied the court’s rulings and pretty much got off free as a bird. This devious person refused to get counseling for your child, refused to help your child with homework. This shark spent all of their spare time thinking of ways to snatch more money from you, but one day everything changed.

You received full custody of the child, the ex had to pay their portion of all medical bills for the child, had to go for counseling and was ordered by the court to get a job (no more alimony payments.)  You’d been walking through “hell’ for 12 years, but a light bulb finally went off in your head and you did two things at this point: (1) Eliminated any “he said, she said” evidence, and (2) Created a powerful case for your next court visit.

This person who was beaten up by the judicial system is the boss at www.caseboss.com – the boss who really works for you.  This website will help those going through or contemplating divorce. The caseboss team has openings left for those who want to build a powerful divorce case for their day in court. No charges, no gimmicks or hidden agendas – you have free use of the site for 1 year and access to a team that will answer questions or offer assistance. This is not a legal site.

Until pro se litigants accept the responsibilities that accompany self representation, they will continue to leave the courtroom with head hung low feeling they had been ripped off and the whole world is against them. It’s not easy representing yourself – it takes an extensive amount of homework and energy on your part to prepare for your day in court. 

A story is just a story and everyone going to divorce court has a story to tell.  Be a good detective, take your story and turn it into a powerful divorce case backed with the cold hard facts, paid receipts, documents organized by subject, date and time.  www.caseboss.com  is just a mouse click away.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Social Media & Divorce

Getting up one day and whacking your spouse with the news that you’ve filed for divorce may not be in your best interest.  If divorce looms on the horizon in the near future - here is a good rule of thumb to follow. Don’t let the egg come before the chicken!

It’s not wise to broadcast via Face Book, Twitter or other social media or share with your supposedly best friend that you hate your spouse and intend to pay him or her back. What you say out of anger or runaway emotions on a social venue may in fact affect a judge’s decision. 

It is critical to your future and the future of your children (if children involved) that you make rational well thought out decisions.  Usually it takes two to tango and both parties share responsibility for a marriage crash. If you feel all avenues have been exhausted for repairing the broken marriage, then go forward with Plan A and prepare for your day in court. 

Best idea at this time is to become a good detective – go back several years and gather up all documents that pertain to your assets. Start a journal and keep a daily log of money spent, children’s activities, medical bills, retirement funds and all paid receipts.  Now is the time to record any and all information that will be beneficial to you in court - record credit card bills, medical bills, bank statements etc. 

After doing this extensive homework it’s time to sit down and talk with your spouse.  Don’t let emotions or anger enter into this conversation – it’s a strong possibility that your spouse may want to end the marriage too and is open to a divorce by mutual agreement. This saves both parties the expense of legal counsel or arbitration. 

If on the other hand this turns into a free for all or nasty divorce you need to understand what it means to create a strong powerful case for your day in court. Your objective is to eliminate the “he said, she said” malarkey and replace it with the cold hard facts. 

There is a new company, not launched yet who has openings for those contemplating or going though divorce.  Go to www.caseboss.com   No secret charges or hidden costs involved it's free – you’ll find a great team of people who will answer questions and assist you in your case building. 

As Alway

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce - Beware of Free

As you’re surfing the Internet, you find a maize of divorce websites that offer “free” services for those contemplating or going through a divorce.  It’s human nature to go after the free stuff!  So often the “free” isn’t really free – be cautious and very selective when surfing for divorce assistance.

Divorce forms and information can be located at your State government website – this is a best policy because not all States honor the online divorce forms. Check out the websites that offer divorce support – take the time to find out their history and verify that their site does in fact offer good advice and support.

It's Not Free

Here are a couple of divorce support sites that have an established online presence offering information on family law.  http://www.divorcesupport.com/

http://www.americanbar.org/groups/family_law.html

If you want legal advice, the safest bet is to get a consult with an attorney – usually there isn’t any charge for this service. Like any other profession there’s a few naughty attorneys out there just looking for the next “sucker,” but overall there’s a great bunch of divorce attorneys with stellar reputations.

Pro se litigants beware because the Net has a bunch of vultures out there just waiting to get in you pocketbook. Filing for divorce, filling out interrogatories, learning about the judicial system isn’t easy – don’t fall prey to the sites that promise you the perfect divorce wrapped up in a box with a pretty bow.  It’s the old adage, if it looks to good to be true then????

The American Bar Association says as much as eighty percent of the legal needs of the poor are left unmet.  Pro Se litigants are at a disadvantage due to lack of legal experience and knowledge. There’s no quick cure for this problem, but each State in our Union offers a variety of divorce venues that offer assistance to those going through a divorce.

Here is a new company preparing to launch that offers free assistance to those contemplating or going through a divorce. This company www.caseboss.com will help people for one year prepare a divorce case for their day in court. The service is entirely free – no hidden surprises or last minute charges. They have an outstanding team waiting to answer questions and give you assistance.  www.caseboss.com  .

The majority of pro se litigants don’t realize that the spouse who has taken the time to build a case will probably be the one walking out of the courtroom with a smile on his or her face.  Imagine going to court with a powerful case in hand – documents are organized by date, time and subject.  Financials, paid receipts, liabilities all neatly packaged and ready for your day in court.

www.caseboss.com

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce Judge "Tiger or Pussycat"

Those going through divorce have a plateful, in fact it’s more like a tubful of do’s and don’ts.  If you’re going it alone (pro se,) here’s one more thought to fill your already cluttered mind. Do you know who your judge will be for your day in court?  Do you know how he or she controls the courtroom?  Don’t assume that just because you’re a good person – it will be smooth sailing in the courtroom. 

Are you going in front of a pussycat who wants both litigants to live happily ever after – if so he or she will probably slices the pie right down the middle. The pussy cat thinks it takes two to tango and strives to satisfy both parties.  He’s pleasant and provides a comfortable atmosphere in the courtroom – definitely not power driven!  

What if you find yourself in front of a legal eagle “owl” that follows family law statutes by the book?  He or she won’t budge and a pitty party may give the impression that you’re begging for mercy - that doesn’t sit well with the ole owl. Don’t take it personally, but he won’t budge and you’re about to have the family law book thrown at you.

Then again you may find yourself in front the no nonsense “tiger” and he or she pretty much considers the “he said, she said” testimony as crap and dives for the heart of the divorce.  Children are his or her priority and he’ll do whatever it takes to insure that the children get the best piece of the pie. He is well versed in family law and very capable of making tough decisions when necessary. This judge deserves a big thank you, because he’s honest, knowledgeable and the children are his priority.

No doubt there are a few family law judges who enjoy putting the squeeze on both parties. He or she basks in the power they possess in the courtroom - there won’t be any doubt in your mind that they are in control. Speak only when spoken to and don’t expect any favors.  Whatever you do don’t cross this person because he or she has your future in their hands!

 This article is based on personal experience and each judge has a name – cover your bet by preparing a powerful case for court and knowing your judge’s courtroom DNA. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Difference in Good Provider and Good Parent

Divorce judges have a different view on parenting - sometimes its hard to understand why the judge looks more favorable on one spouse then the other.  It all boils down to what is the "best interest of the children."

It's a proven fact that children’s love can’t be purchased – the bottom line is this children want your love, your mentoring and most of all your time. Presents, fancy clothes, expensive toys are actually a flimsy band aid that appears to be the perfect fix for children. Many parents substitute material things in place of unconditional love.

Are you a good provider or a good parent, actually many parents wear both hats?  But, inadvertently a good provider can be the trigger that ends up in divorce. He or she works 24/7 to provide a beautiful home, fancy clothes, expensive toys thinking they have done their duty for their spouse and their kids.

In fact, when divorce comes knocking they’re shocked, angry and on the fight – they feel they’ve been betrayed. They’ve been so busy providing over the years that they totally missed out on the God given blessing of parenting and strengthening their marriage.  To them money is the true measure of a successful spouse – they consider themselves a responsible partner and parent in the marriage.  If asked to rate themselves, they’re probably rating themselves somewhere between 8 and 10. 

When the spouse has filed for divorce the good provider feels they have been blind-sided and rejected. They don’t want a divorce and can’t understand why the spouse has turned on them.  They’ve worked 24/7 providing for the family only to be shunned or abandoned and without a doubt they’ve given their family the best of the best when it comes to a roof over their heads, fancy clothes, great schools and lavish gifts.

But a successful provider isn’t always considered a good parent or marriage partner because they haven’t had time to participate with spouse and children.  They’ve been to busy making money to hang out with the spouse and kids. Although they wanted to attend their children’s school or sports activities, their just wasn’t enough time in the day to do it all.

So are you a good provider, but not a good parent?  Being a provider and good parent takes skill and the art of prioritizing.  It’s a balance that is difficult to achieve, but achievable. 

Your children and spouse need your time, your love and most of all your interaction with them as a family. The kids want to see you sitting on the bleachers watching them play a game or going with them fishing or on a picnic. The spouse deserves a date now and some free time just with you.

So before divorce reaches your doorstep, take a step back and evaluate yourself.  Have you carved out time for your family during your busy day?  Do you spend time hanging out with your kids, talking to them, playing games with them and mentoring them? 

A great way to evaluate yourself is this; (1) Has your marriage grown stronger over the years, (2) Do you spend time with your children or just supply them with material things, and (3) Can you look at yourself in the mirror and smile, because you’re a good provider and a great parent? 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com