Waiting Period Before Divorce is Finalized

Waiting Period Before Divorce

27 States want those contemplating divorce to do a little soul searching and take a bit of time before filing for divorce. 

These States have made it a law that prior to divorce couples must attend a class which usually discusses the best interest of the children, leaving children out of the divorce, reconciliation, finances etc…

Other States are considering implementing a law stating that the divorce waiting period will be extended to 6 months and sometimes more.  

The idea or philosophy behind this type of legislation is this: divorce has been advertised as the latest and greatest invention since Spock said set the kids free. Contrary to that type of false advertising many times divorce is devastating to both parties. 

By extending the waiting period it offers an adequate amount of time for those who might consider counseling, arbitration or just a flat cooling off period for a married couple giving them time to analyze the pros and cons of divorce.

Word of caution, if you live in the Salt Lake City area be prepared to attend 2 hour, $ 55 dollar seminar before a judge will finalize a divorce.  This law isn’t etched in stone yet, but many who support this law would like to help couples save their marriage if possible.  

This type law isn’t new to Utah; they had a similar one back in 1994. All 48 States have similar classes available, but 21 States it’s optional.

In many respects trying to get those contemplating divorce to attend classes is an exceptional idea.  There are so many things that may come up during divorce proceedings and this is merely a way to pave the way (especially for first time divorcees. 

Maybe you haven’t reviewed your divorce forms yet, but do you know how to request temporary custody of the children, temporary alimony, fill out interrogatories, serve papers on a spouse, courtroom protocol, taxs, division of assets etc. 

If the one expected to pay child support and/or alimony too, it might be very important to find out what a judge’s decision might be because if there aren’t any funds available due to lack of employment this throws a whole different light on a final divorce decision.  Even if the spouse paying child support and alimony from his or her unemployment check – remember that check will at some time be a thing of the past.

Many times I’ve mentioned that 2013 & 2014 are going to be tough times for those contemplating divorce.  Health insurance (Obamacare,) part-time jobs are quite popular now, unemployment checks may not come close to covering the normal child support and/or alimony payments.

It’s the many unknowns that will bite you in the fanny – if you’re a gambler then best of luck, but if there isn’t abuse or addiction in your marriage, maybe a free consultation with an attorney or some counseling might be perfect for you at this time. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Appeal Divorce Case

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The answer is yes, but you must be able to prove that the family law judge actually erred when making final conclusions about your divorce.  If the judge based his or her decisions on information based facts  that were presented during the divorce trial, than it’s unlikely that an appeal questioning the final orders by the judge will hold water.

So often an appeal is made due to the division of marital assets – a spouse feels he or should have a larger portion of the pie – usually in the end the judge after careful deliberation divided the assets in a fair and unbiased manner.  Remember each State has a formula for figuring child support and a tentative guideline regarding alimony, child custody and division of marital assets.

There are many variables to consider and no doubt family law judges are in error some of the time, but before having your attorney appeal the judge’s decision read your family laws and be sure that you actually have a valid reason to appeal the decision.

If one spouse has been the primary caregiver, stayed at home to raise the children, helped the other spouse start a business or helped them through college it’s pretty much a given that the judge will take all of this into consideration.

Usually child custody is decided in the “best interest “of the children and the family law judge definitely wants to make decisions that will benefit the children.  True, you may have a  high powered job and make a better than average salary, but that doesn’t mean you’re the best choice to take care of the children.

If the judge had hard evidence or factual evidence during the trial, he or she based the final decisions upon the evidence presented.  The appellate court which will address your appeal isn’t going to listen to new testimony or question witnesses. Their job is to verify if the divorce judge actually  made an error when handing down his/her final decision.

Normally the appellate process is long and drawn out taking several years when making a decision over child custody – be prepared to pay a lot of money in attorney fees without any guarantees that you will win the appeal.

Even if you have legal counsel study the family laws in your State – find out how child custody, child support, alimony and division of marital assets are determined.  If you want a big hunk of a retirement fund, or sole custody of the children or a large alimony payment than be prepared to show the family law judge factual information that proves beyond a doubt that you warrant a big piece of the pie.

Many states are changing the alimony laws, which are old relics and need to be updated – alimony for a lifetime is being removed from family law in many States.  Often times fathers are getting the tip of the hat when it comes to child custody.  Times have changed and the recession changes the information that the divorce judge will receive.  Many are without jobs or receiving unemployment, food stamps or some type of Government assistance and they don’t have any pie to share with anyone.

Divorce in 2014 may prove to be extremely difficult when both parents are without a job or have lost their homes and vehicles. 

Collaborative Divorce - The Positives

If neither party can agree upon child custody, division of marital assets – the family law judge will follow the divorce guidelines of his or her State, which means both parties will have to give and take.
The divorce “pie” will be divided up between both parties.

But, when both parties are willing to work together and come to reasonable conclusions it’s a win win for them and the children.

Collaborative divorce is a positive alternative that prevents the parties from being exposed to the courtroom; it allows a couple to resolve the tough decisions together.  Both parties must be willing to follow the family laws of their State.

Collaborative divorce may be a much better option  ,because it will save them money, emotional trauma and alleviate the courtroom drama.  Both parties hire an attorney whose job is to act as referee and adviser while decisions are being made.

The attorneys will make sure everyone plays by the divorce laws in their state – in other words they not only look out for their client they insure that all decisions by both parties are legal.

One attorney can’t represent both parties – each party has their own attorney who is well versed in collaborative divorces. At times the attorneys will call on third party consultants to establish actual value of marital assets, financial experts or psychologists. The best interest off the children is a huge issue and the attorneys will serve as liaisons for the children trying to get the couple to work out child custody, who lives in the marital home etc…

The mail goal of the collaborate attorneys is to guide the couple on fair and reasonable solutions.  The attorney’s job is to make sure that decisions made are legal, fair and equitable for both parties. If at some time, the couples hit a snag and can’t agree on the main issues than the attorneys will step down.  Divorce is an extremely contentious subject and at times the couple hit a snag and refuse to collaborate. 

If this happens, divorce court is the next option on the horizon – remember the divorce judge will follow the same family laws that the collaborative attorneys did.  He or she will hand down the final decision based on the factual information given to them. 

Collaborative divorce is becoming popular saving both parties money and undue stress – many couples are finding this a great way to make the tough decisions without ending up in divorce court. 

As Always,    

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Infidelity and Divorce

Is infidelity in a marriage taken into consideration by a family law judge?  If you’re in a no fault state, it probably isn’t going to be a deciding factor in your divorce. Infidelity will cause problems when the cheater tries to get their spouse to agree on a tentative settlement. It is only human nature to fight back when one feels betrayed or rejected; it’s the one trump card that the jilted spouse holds and it’s an extremely powerful card.

At this point, the spouse no longer feels an inner need to be fair, whatever that may mean.  He or she turns into a banker, accountant, a strategist and what might have been a mutual divorce turns into the wreck of the century. What about the children, who’s is watching out for the children? Two outstanding attorneys always put the children first in their courtroom – neither judge approved of an intimate relationship during the divorce. 

Katherine Eisold Miller is a prominent Collaborative Lawyer and family mediator is now a public educator helping husband and wives choose the best way when divorce is eminent. 

Katherine feels the children should be the priority and encourages parents to make best choices for the children’s sake. She feels an adulteress relationship has very little impact in a no fault state. But, in those states that take fault into consideration the division of property, alimony, child support can be seriously affected.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Katherine%20Eisold%20Miller/

A family law judge (Judge Ann Kass,) from New Mexico always put the children first. She had zero tolerance for those intimately involved in a relationship before the divorce is final. 

http://www.divorcepeers.com/dating-during-divorce.htm

Although New Mexico is a no-fault state, Judge Ann Kass always put the children first. In one of her articles, she said,” But whatever the grown-ups do to themselves, they should absolutely avoid introducing any new companions to their children until the divorce is over and until there is a solid foundation for the new relationship with some reasonable degree of probability that it will last.

If married adults would put the children first, there probably wouldn’t be as many divorces or broken homes. Divorce devours the entire family; no one misses the angry fangs of divorce. 

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Divorce Accelerates in 2014

Divorce in 2014

The first part of 2014 appears to be a mystery to many, divorce is definitely on the rise according to some statistics and this may not be a very good sign for those contemplating divorce.  Actual unemployment rate, counting the millions who have quit looking for jobs and eliminating these part time 20 hour per week job is hovering way over 15% according to various economists.

Obamacare is becoming a horrendous burden to families due to the high deductibles and loss of family physicians and loss of their insurer. Although, for many divorce appears to be an easy way to gain independence and fly on your own - that's simply not true. Maybe the grass looks greener and in actuality the grass isn't greener and a new marriage if on the horizon often times isn't a cure all for what ails many people.

The percentage of people divorcing in their second marriages is very high. Here's another thought to consider if you have stayed home and been the primary caregiver - the soon to be ex may lose their job or become a part time employee.

The writing on the wall is this - with such a shaky economy and Obamacare - likely you may have to get a full time job in order to pay bills and make ends meet.  So preparing a budget that is feasible would be reasonable.

First consider the children before jumping into divorce, plan ahead and be sure your decisions are in the best interest of your children - if you don't do that now, the family law judge will make that decision. If the children are old enough to make a choice about who they wish to live with, maybe that would be one of the first things to resolve.

Little ones aren't capable of making that kind of decision, so you must be the grown up here and have a good plan for the children.

Here's a list of very important issues you may want to resolve before filing for divorce. Legal counsel is a great way to find out what the family laws are in your state, how assets may be divided including alimony (if necessary) and child support.  A consultation with an attorney often times will save a lot of time and money later on...

Many couples actually benefit from counseling and find that divorce isn't really what they want or need.  A counselor is unbiased and will look at the marital relationship differently then those who are married and often they can assist a couple by getting them back on track and saving a marriage.

If you and your spouse have investments and retirement funds - a tax attorney might be good for starters, the tax laws have changed so much in recent years.

So look down the road for it's your future, figure out where you will live, how you'll pay bills, if you're going to need a new vehicle or furniture - figure all of those unknowns into your new budget, because life in the big single city can be pretty rough, so take your time before making rash decisions that you'll regret later.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Many States Changing Child Custody & Alimony Laws

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Lawmakers in many States are revisiting child custody, many don’t agree with the old grandfather laws that allow only one parent to have custody.  Many States aren’t giving one party alimony for the remainder of his or her life.  Colorado is very active in making new divorce changes in 2014 and other States will follow.

The “best interest of the children “is in the spotlight now – many feel that shared parenting serves the children much better.  Many States are organizing task forces to review old family laws on child custody and some already are starting to make new changes in the custody law.

2014 divorce may actually be about shared custody allowing both parents time to interact and raise the children.  Actually when you think about the children who pack their bags to visit with one parent for a couple of days a month – it’s pretty sad.  What must the children think? 

Arkansas is tracking the custody situation by giving parents equal or shared time with the children from broken homes.  At this time it’s just an experiment that is being tracked and it will take some time to analyze the outcome over a period of time.

South Dakota, Massachusetts and other States are making changes, so check with your Government site, pull up divorce and study family law on child custody.  If you’re unable to find the information go to a court in your area and ask them if there are any new child custody changes for 2014.

This child custody issue is very controversial; there are those of course who want to stick with the old family laws saying they are in the “best interest” of the children.  While others are saying it’s so much healthier for children to have both parents taking part in their lives such as school, extra - curricular activities and mentoring.

Along with the recent changes in many State’s alimony laws it would behoove those filing for divorce to check out child custody and alimony laws for 2014.  In many States the little lady doesn’t get alimony for the rest of her live, nor does one parent pay all child care and custody if both have good paying jobs.  So there’s a lot to learn before filing those divorce papers.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce - Try Judge Ann Kass Nesting Strategy

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Don't Forget the Children



When divorce knocks at the door often times the father and mother are preoccupied in their individual missions that they forget the children. One spouse is high tailing it out of Dodge because selfishly they consider “divorce” a lifeline and a pathway to freedom.  The other spouse sees no freedom in sight; they see their world as they once knew it going up in smoke.

Notice that neither parent thought of the children first – they were too busy arming themselves and preparing for battle.  This has nothing to do with their love for their children – most parents love their children unconditionally.  It’s all about priorities sort of like which comes first the chicken or the egg. 

They both feel that they’re in a sink or swim mode and their first instinct is to save themselves and deal with the children later.  During this survival instinct one or both decide to use the children as pawns. They degrade each other in front of the children and try to get the children to take sides. 

How evil, these little angels are just left there dangling without an advocate in their corner.  Sometimes dad or mom are so infatuated with their new playmate there isn’t any time to hang out with their kids.

The other spouse is on a never ending roller coaster ride of emotions, anger - they’re obsessed with the desire to cremate their once loving soul mate leaving them unfit to be around the children.

So what about the kids, who really cares about the kids?  Shouldn’t the kids be the first priority when divorce is on the horizon?  There are judges out there who are children’s advocates and they do everything in their power to protect the children.

One of these judges is a great lady (Judge Ann Kass) from New Mexico and she believes the courts should give more weight to the children’s rights than the rights of the parents.

Honorable Judge Ann Kass decided to include a “nesting” plan for some extremely out of control parents.  Nesting is when the children remain in their home and the parents with suitcase in hand take turns moving in and out of the children’s home.

This was Judge Ann Kass’s way of leveling the playing field where neither parent would have total control.  The parents experienced what the children will be going thru as they are shuffled back and forth with suitcase in hand.

“Nesting” seems rather extreme, but it encourages parents to put their children at the top of their priority list.  Divorce is a home wrecker and children are pretty much at the mercy of the parents unless the judge intervenes. 

Before jumping into a divorce, take time to think about your children’s welfare physically and emotionally. There’s no cut and dried solution when there’s a divorce with children. 

A few things that will ease the pain of divorce for your children is: (1) Both parents need to communicate a message to their children that they are loved, (2) Never make the children choose sides – don’t use them as pawns, (3) Both parents should do whatever it takes to help the children thru the confusing transitions created by divorce, and (4) Sit down with the children and assure them that the divorce isn’t their fault.

It’s a proven fact that children want your time, your love and the security you can offer them, not lavish gifts or expensive toys. 

Love Can’t Be Purchased – it’s a God given commodity that your children deserve!

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce - Dads Beware!

Hey, Dads it’s time to wake up, crawl out of the world of complacency and stop believing that you’re soon to be ex is watching out for you.  The truth is as we humans all know there comes a time in life that you opt to stop the foolishness and take care of number one – often it’s a dirty war out there when divorce lands in your lap.

Don’t assume your little “use to be best friend” will want to divide assets fairly, or go easy on alimony payments or child support.  Usually that person has second thoughts about what fairness, consideration and kindness really mean.  They turn into a bloody vulture and decide to destroy your hopes of a future – they will attempt to break your bank and leave you with a broken bank.

Not all women react the way that is described above, but a large percentage if it’s a contentious divorce is on the hunt and waiting for the kill.  Don’t be the prey!

There are precautions that a man can take before being drug through the streets of divorce.  A consultation with an attorney (usually free) is a good first step.  Go to your state’s government site and study divorce and family laws in your State. 

Learn how to calculate child support, which most Government sites will walk you through – that way you won’t be blind-sided in divorce court.  Remember you will need a home, apartment or some kind of housing when the divorce is finalized.  Check out rent etc. and possibly you’ll need a vehicle too, if there is only one in the family.

If your spouse quit her job to stay at home and raise the children, you’re probably going to pay alimony.  If you want to share custody of the children, be sure you can give the divorce judge proof that you’ve been a good parent and have a decent place for the children when they come to visit. 

Don’t assume that your divorce will be different and everyone will live happily ever after – be proactive and take charge of your life.  If you’re going to represent yourself in Court learn how to serve divorce papers, answer interrogatories and fill out divorce forms correctly. 

Brush up on family law in your State - Findlaw is a very helpful website that has some very good information on divorce, alimony, child support etc.

Remember the best interests of the children usually are the divorce judge’s number one priority.  Those going pro se should learn Court protocol and how to prepare a winning divorce case.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce and Grandparents

What about the grandparents?  Why are they often times left out of the divorce picture – they’ve helped raise, mentor and love the children and now they are no longer allowed to continue their beautiful relationship with the grandchildren.  Grandparents, you have rights – fight for them.

Decisions are made in the “best interest” of the children and you may well be the missing piece that your grandchildren need. Don’t just wring your hands and walk away, contact an attorney and ask for legal advice and assistance.  Each State has laws that actually protect grandparents “rights” and if you’ve been an active participating person in the children’s lives, you’ll get more than a nod.

It may be a good idea to gather up some factual information before your first free consult with an attorney.  Try to show via pictures, birthdays, holidays, vacations etc. how you’ve been actively involved with your grandchildren. You want to prove that your relationship with the grandchildren is special and that you’ve been a devoted participant in their lives.  

If you present your case to the courts, be prepared to answer all questions about your relationship with the grandchildren. Be prepared to tell the judge how often you would like to visit with your grandchildren.  If the children are very small and you’ve moved out of State, this definitely could pose a problem, but maybe you could ask to spend a portion of the holidays or their birthdays with them.

Explaining your relationship with the custodial parent prior to divorce proceedings will help the judge make a decision – if it’s been stormy weather and extensive conflict with the custodial parent prior to the divorce this will be taken under consideration also.

The important question in court will be why the custodial parent refused you visitation rights with the grandchildren. Do they have a valid reason or is it merely a payback and punishment against their ex spouse?  How the custodial parent thinks grandparent’s visitation would harm the children?

Yes, grandparents have rights and many times continuing communication and visitation with the grandchildren is in the “best interest” of the children.  As a grandparent, I have been actively involved in my grandchildren’s lives and have helped raise each of them – there’s no way in h- - -, that I would allow my grandparent’s rights to be taken away.  

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Do You Have a Winning Divorce Case?

When a  pro se litigant is contemplating divorce what can they do to insure that the divorce judge will hand down a favorable case in their behalf?  What specifically does the family law judge need to grant you your piece of the pie? 

There’s a thousand and one divorce websites that out there in space trying to pond off divorce forms on you - they're just waiting like a vulture to nichol and dime you to death.

They promise you a winning divorce decision wrapped up in a gorgeous box with pretty bows and all of the bells and whistles, but there’s one dirty little secret that they neglect to tell you – it’s called a divorce case. 

Most family law judges want to give both parties their fair share, but they struggle with pro se divorces because the person or persons representing themselves have dropped the ball.

Statistics suggest that over 60% of pro se litigants forget signatures, don’t serve their spouse according to state laws, don’t answer or fill out interrogatories correctly and came to court without a case.  First things first, carefully study family law in your State, find out what the Statute of Limitations are in your state. 

Fill out every divorce form completely with signatures and don’t lie or hide pertinent information, because it will bite you in the fanny if you lie to the judge. Know the law in your state for serving your spouse divorce papers – state laws vary so go to the government website and review the procedure for serving papers. 

Let’s assume all of the divorce papers have been filled out, filed timely and you’re sitting around waiting for your day in court. Now is the time to become a great detective and work on your divorce case – throw out the “he said, she said.” Gathering evidence is time consuming and takes an excessive amount of time and patience.

Solidify your case by organizing documents, by time, dates, subject that can be used to create specific reports for the family law judge. Understandably if you’ve never experience divorce, you don’t know how to create a powerful case.

A company in Arizona that hasn’t launched yet is offering one free year to those going thru or contemplating divorce. Check them out www.caseboss.com  – it doesn’t cost a dime and they have an awesome team available to answer questions and assist you as you build a powerful case. 

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Pro Se Divorce Litigants Struggle

So often pro se divorce isn’t the pathway to freedom – it isn’t a get out of jail free card.  Although pro se divorce is marketed, publicized and promoted as the latest and greatest, there isn’t any miraculous cure for pro se divorce litigants. Do it yourself divorce or pro se divorce has many hidden problems that need to be addressed. 

The Judicial system throughout the country is trying to assist the litigants by offering workshops and self help venues. There are great divorce websites on the Internet that offer free information and assistance to those contemplating divorce, but there are many Internet sites that prey on pro se litigant wanting their money. 

Don’t fall victim to the Internet sites that tout divorce as fast and easy – those sites play on emotions. Divorce that involves alimony, child custody, child support and division of property isn’t easy. Filling out divorce papers on time is a risk and it’s your life and future that is involved, what appears easy, inexpensive can cost much more than taking the time to do it right.

It’s best to control anger and emotions before jumping off the cliff into a lion’s den.  If divorce is the only option, take time studying the family laws in your State – learn what your options really are before diving into divorce.

Wearing the hat of legal counsel can be grueling and difficult. The Judicial system isn’t exactly user friendly – it takes hours of study and homework to understand how to maneuver within the divorce laws of your State.

In many ways the laws concerning self representation seem to confuse rather than assist litigants. It merely means that you are granted the right to present your divorce case in court without legal counsel – it doesn’t offer anything more than the legal right to represent yourself.

End of conversation, this law doesn’t insure a favorable decision from the judge, legal assistance from the court staff or any other options.  What you see is what you get –before going pro se remember it can be very costly by negatively affecting your future. 

Statistics show that pro se litigants are losing what is rightfully theirs in divorce court, because they fail follow the laws in their State. The pro se litigant can’t continue blaming judges or attorneys – it is their responsibility to follow family laws as established in their State.

www.caseboss.com

As Always,

Little Tboca

Child Custody Problems

All too often in a rage to pay back a spouse, your first thought is divorce that dirty rotten partner ASAP.

Well, that’s good for starters if you feel there is irreconcilable differences, but and there always seems to be a “But” in everything we do.

Suck it up, take a deep breath and sit down with that soon to be ex and figure out a child custody plan.

In 2014, fathers and mothers are working harder, longer hours just to keep the bills paid and food on the table.  One or both spouses travel or have an hour or so commuter ride to work.  The spouse that has been the primary caregiver just hired after months of being on unemployment and can’t take a chance of losing their job. 

So we have two people, children and a divorce on the horizon – not a healthy combination if the two people haven’t worked out the child custody problem.  Who will care for the children during the day, which parent will feed them, dress them and get them off to daycare or school?  Which parent is available if a child gets sick, hurt or needs special medical attention?

Who’s available for their extra-curricular activities or for doctor and dentist appointments?  So before serving those divorce papers on an ex, possibly rethink the child custody issue. 

The writing on the wall is this – if two parents can’t come up with a feasible parenting plan that is in the best interest of the children, then the family law judge will search through the broken bits and pieces of information trying to decide what is truly in the “best interest” of the children.

Some suggestions that might assist you when in a quandary about child custody is think about meeting with legal counsel.  Usually the first visit is a free consultation and even if you paid a bit, it might be well worth money spent in the long run. 

Even if you have other irreconcilable differences, the one thing that will help both parents is to go to divorce court with a solid iron clad parenting plan.  The children should always come first when contemplating divorce, because that is foremost on a divorce judge’s mind.  He or she will be the children’s liaison whether you agree with their decision or not…

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Lean Mean Divorce in 2014

Often times child custody in divorce is an 80/20 split and usually the father gets the children 20% of the time.  Although many states are removing the old antiquated divorce laws and replacing them with what is meant to be fairer and more equitable fathers still are the ones who usually takes the brunt of the divorce.

As a rule, men tend to be the ones to take the financial hit when divorce hits and there are several reasons for this… 

(1) Men tend to be more complacent and trusting of their soon to be ex, (2) Men hate to get in the mud and muck of divorce so they tend to leave the outcome of their divorce in the hand of their ex and the family law judge, and (3) The majority of the men going thru divorce don’t realize that divorce is ongoing until the children reach maturity.

2014 should be a wake - up call for couples going thru divorce, because there are many variables outside of family laws that make divorce in 2014 an upfront and personal subject that both parties should consider before jumping into the divorce ring.

Here are but a few of the existing problems created by a recession and weak Government.  Unemployment is front and center when considering divorce – meaning that either one party or both may be sitting at home collecting unemployment.  This makes divorce a much tougher issue when assets are divided, alimony is decided and child support. 

Healthcare is a huge issue to consider – millions have lost their primary care physicians and insurers and now are faced with much higher deductibles and co-payments.  Sometimes the insured must pay thousands of dollars for medical treatment before their insurance even kicks in – medical problems can destroy budgets by taking a huge bite out of the income.

Unless there is abuse within the family, husband and wife would be wise to sit down and treat divorce entirely as a business decision.  Although one party usually gets to stay in the family residence, the other party must find an apartment or house that they can afford.  Child support can only be figured on the existing income at this time, not on what someone use to make in the work force.

If one or both parties opt for legal counsel, this too takes a huge chunk out of their  pocketbook - remember only a fool predicts the judge’s final decision in divorce. 

On the flip side, if you’re representing yourself or going pro se – you have a vast amount of homework to do before you even contemplate divorce.  You must know your State’s family laws, courtroom procedures, how to fill out interrogatories and divorce forms.  Most importantly those representing themselves must learn what it takes to prepare a winning divorce case

.

When emotions run rampant it’s a sure bet that one or both parties will come out losers in the divorce court.  The family law judge puts children at the top of his or her list of priorities. He or she will make final decisions revolving around what is in the best interest of the children.

Divorce in 2014 will not be a walk in the park and there will be few real winners.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Difference Between Home Run or Strike Out in Divorce

Divorce is up – will you hit a home run or strike out?  Sounds a bit crazy, but check out the “don’ts” first, because they may result in a strikeout before the balls even pitched your way.

So often it’s the little things that many people consider insignificant that is an irritant to the judge.

First of all your appearance is important, don’t dress like farmer Jones or Susie hot pants. Beware, your body language can be a dead give away – smirking, shaking your head, clenching fists and shooting daggers at your soon to be ex won’t win you any brownie points with the judge.

If you’re a pro se litigant don’t walk into court with an armload of loose papers decorated with a bunch of post it notes. Pertinent information should be organized and neatly packaged. Don’t antagonize the judge, chuck the yehs, huhs and shrugs at the door – address the judge as “your honor” and put on your best suit of manners showing respect to the man or women who has your future in the palm of their hands. 

Don’t forget to fill out interrogatories correctly and don’t miss a scheduled court date. You have a right to represent yourself - having said that you have certain responsibilities too!

Now for the “Do’s” that will give you a home run. Get your divorce forms from the court or go on line to your State’s government website and download them. Check on the Statute of Limitations and verify which court will hear your divorce. Learn the laws in your state before  serving papers. 

Do your paperwork, double check each form and make sure your signature is legible. Do study courtroom procedure and study your State’s divorce laws. Always address the judge not your spouse or his or her legal council when speaking.

Going to court totally organized is the icing on the cake that will help you get your home run. Take time to prepare a winning case for your day in court. Organize your documents, tag them correctly, compile all bills, receipts and data in an orderly manner by date, time and subject.

There is help out there for those contemplating or going through a divorce. CaseBoss has offered to help people prepare their divorce case. Two important things: (1) This service is absolutely free, and (2) CaseBoss has a team ready to assist you and answer questions.  Go to www.caseboss.com get started today. No charges - it's free!

As Always,

Little Tboca

What is Your Parenting Plan

Do it yourself divorce can become very complicated if there are children involved. Here’s one more thing on your plate that is something both parents need to create before arriving in divorce court. 

Without a parenting plant the family law judge is left to clean up the parenting mess, because parents can’t reach an agreement. Child custody is a critical issue of divorce and without a doubt one of the most contentious matters in the family law court.

The family law judge makes decision based on the “best interest” of the children. If both parents can lay aside the marital disagreements briefly and work together creating a parenting plan that specifically supports the child or children emotionally and physically it can be a win win situation for parents and children.

If one parent is seeking sole custody of the children, he or she must provide evidence or information showing the other parent as unfit. Sole custody is often granted if one spouse has a criminal history, abusive or addicted to drugs or alcohol. Sole custody is granted at times, but not without substantial proof that one parent hasn’t been involved in parenting or is incapable due to personal issues to be a substantial parent.   

If one parent is granted sole legal custody they make decisions about education, health and well being of the child or children and can make decisions about the faith environment they will be raised in…

Joint custody is just what it sounds like, both parents work together making decision in the best interest of their children. Physical custody refers to the amount of time each parent has with the children – most parents can create a feasible plan including the handling of holidays, summer vacation and time spent with each parent. 

Bottom line is this, if father and mother can’t agree on the custody issues, the judge must intervene and decide custody based on the “best interest” of the children. 

Divorce is super charged with emotion, anger and often times the intense desire of one or both spouses to punish each other. Parents should attempt to be rational about custody of the children and present a parenting plan to the judge that is in the “best interest” of the children.  Without a parenting plan both parties are at the mercy of the court and the judge will be the final decision maker. 

http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/divorce/article33.asp

As Always,

Little Tboca