Divorce – Child Custody Issues

The “Best Interest of the Children” is a phrase worth remembering.  If your divorce is being contested, the judge may be the one who has to make the final custody decisions.  The priority of most family law judges is the children, because technically they are acting as a liaison for the children.  Thank goodness divorce judges put the children first.

If the parents can work out the custody situation together actually thinking about the best interest of their child or children, it can be a win win situation for both parents and the children.

When both parents have been equal or almost equal caregivers, possibly joint custody would be a good choice. This allows parents to make decisions for the children on education, health, extra curricular activities, religion etc. Joint custody does appear best for the parents and/or children - when the children are shuffled back from one home to the other it may be a hard adjustment for the children to make.

Judges will delve into the joint custody issue, because he or she wants to feel that both parents are accountable, responsible and capable of making decisions together in the best interest of the child or children.  It’s a difficult call for a judge, because they are trying to decide if both parents are equal in their parenting capabilities and if both parents can work as a team to mentor, love and care for the little ones. 

Physical custody and legal custody are often intertwined.  The physical piece of this type custody means the child will live with one parent the majority of the time. This parent is considered the “custodial parent.”

The non custodial parent may be granted physical custody which means he or she will be a decision maker in important issues like health, education and religion etc.

With unmarried parents, laws in most states favor giving the mother sole custody if in fact she has demonstrated that she is a good parent. If the mother is unable to care for the child, the other parent (father) usually gets custody.

Family law judges get beaten up for making the tough custody decisions, but remember they consider the child first and what is in the “best interest of the child.”  

Custody of the children is the toughest decision family law judges must make, because sometimes it seems both parents have shared equal responsibility in rearing the children.  At times when the child or children are older the judge may talk with them and ask them their preferences. 

It is a good idea to check out your state’s family laws specifically the child custody laws regarding primary caregivers. Both parents should try to make the best choice for the children and not use the children as pawns in their divorce.

As Always,

Little Tboca