Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Divorce – Sole Custody of Children

Divorce law varies from state to state and so do divorce forms. Divorce decisions depend upon the type of relationship you have with other person.

Marriage and cohabitating are two entirely different lifestyles – divorce judges try to make child custody decisions based on the “best interest” of the children.

When couples cohabitate rather than marry, the family law judge in most states grant sole custody of the child or children to the mother, if she is deemed to be a good parent. There are exceptions to this sole custody law if the father can provide evidence that the mother is unstable or unable to function or perform the duties required of a parent.

When the mother isn’t in the home, has passed away or is in an institution the father is granted sole custody over grandparents, aunts, uncles or family friends. The exception to this rule is when the father is unable to provide a home for the children or suffers from chronic addictions, in an institution or has passed away. 

When deciding custody family law judges make final decisions based on the “best interests” of the children – usually the “best interests” of the children supersedes all other laws. A parent is considered to be a fit parent unless he or she is ruled unfit due to personal lifestyle or activities. 

Child custody remains one of the most contentious, heart breaking battles in family law courts. When a good parent allows anger and emotion to dictate their actions they may lose the custody battle before their day in court.


If a couple is married, judges at times will make the decision to give one parent sole legal custody – this allows one parent to make all major decisions about the child or children’s physical and emotional welfare. 

Often times the judge grants a parent sole physical custody of the children, but grants the other parent visitation rights unless the court feels visitation rights at this time isn’t in the best interest of the children. A judge’s ultimate goal is to allow the children to interact with both parents if possible.

A word of caution about custody battles, if one spouse has legal counsel and one spouse has opted to themselves (pro se,) the spouse with legal counsel will probably get the custody nod from the judge. Of course if the pro se litigant has studied family law, child custody laws and knows courtroom procedures they may win the custody battle – it’s a risk when one spouse has legal counsel. 



Pro se litigants must be prepared to show evidence beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have been the primary caregiver during the marriage. This takes documentation and proof in the courtroom. Child custody battles prove to be a slippery slope that can head any direction – this might be the time to hire legal counsel. 

As Always,
Little Tboca

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