Divorce - Take Care of Finances First

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Will your credit be damaged due to a divorce?  Will you be responsible for credit cards or loans that are in both names?  If you wait until your day in divorce court, you may have a rude awakening – divorce doesn’t relieve you of financial obligations incurred during the marriage.

If the home is in both of your names and one party gets to live in the home, this doesn’t relieve you of liability – this is one reason if possible selling the home is the best way to protect yourself from this obligation.

If credit cards are in both names,  the credit card company can and will come after both parties if they’re delinquent on payments.  It would be a good idea to pay off credit cards and cancel them removing your name once again from a future unnecessary expense.  Meanwhile if divorce is imminent one or both parties can continue using credit cards etc., which can be an astronomical amount of money over a period of time. 

Divorce will not remove you from your obligations on credit cards – if cards are left in both names one spouse can continue using the card which may be very costly to you.

Both parties are responsible for anything that the marital couple has purchased together with both names on the loan or mortgage.  If you are a co- signer on a purchase made by your soon to be ex and he or she default on payments, you’re next in line to be dunned for the balance due.

 Logically this doesn’t seem fair if one party ends up with the house, car and half of the marital assets that you will be held accountable if mortgages, loan payments or credit cards debts are defaulted on. 

Even before divorce it is advisable to get some legal or financial counseling on any marital obligations which have both names on the loan or mortgage such as vehicles, furniture, air conditioning units, appliances etc.  Just a brief visit with an attorney, tax specialist or counselor may save you money and heartache in the future. The laws of your State will govern your decisions and you’re on a “need to know” basis at this time.

It’s again the old rule “don’t assume” anything when it comes to divorce – if you wait until you get to court the judge’s decision may in fact not be in your favor.  It’s best to get a game plan on your finances now before you get to court.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce - Men Definitely from Different Planet

No doubt men and women come from a different planet or so it seems. When it comes to divorce the little women gets engaged and plunges headlong into the many facets of divorce. She's more than a little bit pro active, because her anger and emotions have kicked in big time. Often times, she's not logical nor willing to communicate because in her eyes she's right and you're just plain wrong.

This person that you took the marriage vowels with has just gone south from friend, soul mate to number one enemy. In her mind she wants the house, the kids and even the kitchen sink. Of course not all women approach divorce this way, but a very large percentage goes for the "gusto" big alimony, the house, the children and child support. Family law were created to protect both parties, yet these laws can be misused and abused.

Men usually approach divorce in an entirely different manner.  First they believe that even though divorce is imminent that his spouse will be honest, fair and forthright when it comes to their divorce. That's the first biggest mistake, this person is no longer your partner nor does she worry about your feelings or future at this time.

Next mistake is assuming that the laws of our land are in place that will protect you come hell or high water, but this is strictly an old wives' tale.  Family laws can be manipulated by legal counsel until you will look like the scum of the earth.

Hopefully this will be a wake up call for some men.  Take the time to check you states' family laws regarding divorce.  Find out about division of marital assets, child custody and each spouse's obligations. Prepare yourself next with some hard questions for a divorce attorney and at least have a free consultation. Often times it better to work two jobs and have legal counsel than to try to fly on your own.  At least after your consultation you'll be better prepared and know what to expect.

If your're going pro se, then start studying the family laws in your State. Go to your State government site and put divorce in the search box.  Next learn how to build a powerful case for court - be prepared to stay up into the wee hours of the night studying. It's your life, your future and your hard earned money that's involved.

Building a divorce case is pretty much like taking on the job of a detective. Learn to document, organize and arrange your case by time, subject and date. A great place to start would be at www.caseboss.com - they are offering their website for one year free without any hidden expenses.

 Free is free - just take your time to do the homework and email their great team if you're in the dark and don't know how to start.  They have an awesome team there to assist you.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Child Custody Problems

Although the court has made the decision with regard to child custody, sometimes a parent disregards the court’s ruling.  The court has decided how the custody of the children will be handled and yet parents are in error when they ignore these rulings.  Just because one has sole custody of the children doesn’t mean that this ruling can’t be overturned. 

Visitation by a parent is established, in fact a schedule is in place and the parent or parents either intentional or unintentional opts to run the show when it relates to visitation.  Some parents make it a habit of being late when picking up the children or at times just don't bother picking up the children when it’s their time to interact with the kids.  The courts will frown on this type of behavior because it isn’t in the best interest of the children.

The biggest problem is the divorced parents are incapable of having an adult conversation about the children. If one parent disregards the court ruling regularly, it is important to track this behavior.  Write down how late a parent is picking up the children, or if they neglected to pick up the children at all.  Log times missed, times being late by day, date and time – you may have to revisit the court and get these problems resolved.

On the other hand as stated earlier, if the primary caregiver doesn’t obey court orders, he or she may lose custody of the children.  Attempting to keep the children from the other parent is a big “no no.”  Not having the children ready to go when its visitation rights for the other parent can create problems too – each parent is bound by court orders and must to the best of their ability abide by them.

Not all child custody laws are etched in stone – there’s times when one parent decides to move out of state and this can become a problem for both parents. It is best to try to communicate with each other and see if you can resolve the problem together without having to return to court. If this doesn’t work maybe it’s time to consult legal counsel, because the family laws vary from State to State and in fact there may not be a simple solution.

What can be done if the ex takes the children on a vacation without your knowledge?   Granted you should know where they are going and when they’re expected to return.   A parent should be able to contact the children in case of an emergency – best to try to resolve this with your ex.  If the ex makes it a habit of taking the children on trips without your knowledge, it’s time to have a consult with an attorney.

When parents are unable or unwilling to communicate about their children’s care, there definitely is a problem and the courts will have to review the custody orders and again make decisions which are in the best interest of the children. 

Before going back to court get legal counsel, find out what your legal rights are and what you can do to correct the custody problems.  An Attorney will probably tell you to document all events concerning visitation rights, care of the children including any medical problems of the children that need to be addressed.  Once again don’t land in court without evidence to back up your testimony, “he said, she said” testimony is weak and a judge needs actual proof.  

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce - Attorneys Aren't Your Enemy

When divorce seems to be the only option it's important to get mentally organized before filing papers.  Divorce is without a doubt one of the biggest decisions of a lifetime - it will affect you, your future and if children are involved the lives of your children.

Although many contemplating divorce have made a conscious decision to represent themselves or go pro se, because they can't afford legal counsel, they dislike attorneys or believe that they are in the best position to represent themselves. Representing oneself may or may not be a wise decision. Regardless of your reasons that you want to represent yourself, one of the best first decision you can make is to set up a free consultation with a divorce attorney. Get answer to many important questions before filing divorce papers.

There are many family laws concerning divorce that you don't know about and an attorney can help you make a conscious decision about preparing for your divorce. Before setting up an appointment with an attorney, get organized - jot down questions regarding the children.

Inquire about child support, alimony, medical expenses, visitation rights and who may need to file temporary orders so they may be the primary caregiver of the children and remain in the marital home. The children should be your priority so get a clear understanding of how you can get divorced and yet insure the "best interests" of the children.

Next find out about division of marital assets, if you've been married for several years and alot of assets are involved then find out if you should have a 3rd party do an evaluation of the marital property. You may need to know about retirement funds, business assets, personal property or pre nuptial agreement and don't forget hidden assets and debts.

Don't forget health insurance - will you be covered by health insurance during the interim before the divorce is final. If you believe alimony is in order, find out how much you might expect, how child support is figured and inquire about temporary orders before the divorce is final.

Consulting with a qualified attorney before filing for divorce may save you money, time and heartaches later down the road.  Each State has their own family laws and there have been many recent changes in some of the States regarding alimony.

As Always,
Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce - When Emotions DIctate Actions

Possibly the biggest mistake made by those contemplating divorce is allowing their emotions to dictate their actions. Contested divorces usually end up in a potentially dangerous roller coaster ride that can and often ends up in a super crash, because one party didn’t have their seat belt on…

It’s human nature to want to punish and pay back your spouse, and that’s exactly the reason so many people settle for detours. Getting a divorce isn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination and you owe it to yourself to slow down and learn what is involved in the divorce process.

Detours like paying $149 bucks for divorce forms that often aren’t approved by your state’s courts or falling for the false information that is offered on going pro se (self - representation.)  Pro se divorce is a tough way to go if you and your spouse can’t agree on child custody, alimony or division of marital assets.

Anger, confusion and the intense desire to take control of one’s life can lead to detours that actually derail your chance to control your destiny. Before heading down the bumpy divorce road, find out what your options are and develop a game plan. 

One of the safest ways to get the correct divorce forms is from your state’s government website. Each state offers a roadmap explaining how to file for divorce. Go to your government website and search for divorce.

Before filing for divorce study your state family laws. Find out what your state’s Statute of Limitations, learn how to legally serve papers on your spouse and verify what family law court will handle your divorce case.  This is just preliminary information, but will prevent many mistakes as you head into the divorce process.

Most of the state government sites give you step by step instruction on filing your papers, answering interrogatories, temporary orders etc. If children are involved, study the information at theses sites on child custody, child support and parenting time. There’s a wealth of knowledge available if you just take the time to study and read it.

Another excellent resource is http://family.findlaw.com/divorce/  this site offers in depth information on family law, divorce, child custody, alimony, division of marital assets and offers the government websites in each state where you can get your divorce forms.

It’s your life, your future and it is possible to experience a favorable decision from the family law judge. Control your emotions, develop a good game plan and be diligent about finding answers to all of your questions. 

As Always,  

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Divorce - Pro Se Litigants 3 Major Errors

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For those contemplating divorce, before jumping into the lion's den proceed with caution.  If your divorce is contested and includes children you want to take some time doing a little investigative research.

The three errors that will darn sure get you in hot water.
1.  Wrong divorce forms are used
2.  Failure to complete or fill out divorce forms correctly
3.  Assuming that the divorce judge is a mind reader and capable of filling in the missing puzzles.

Many times anger and emotion dictates one's action and that can be the very reason that the family law judge passes down an unfavorable decision. The States vary in their family law rules and jumping online and grabbing the wrong divorce forms can be disastrous. Many online sites think one shoe fits all and shoots you the wrong divorce forms for your State.

Assuming you have the correct divorce forms, do you know how to ask for temporary orders during the interim before the divorce is final?  Do you know how to fill out interrogatories?  Do you know the Statute of Limitations in your State?  Do you know how to serve your soon to be ex with divorce papers?  Failure to do any of the above correctly will either get your case kicked out of court or may result in very unfavorable decisions by the divorce judge.

The divorce judge isn't a mind reader, nor does he or she have the time to try to find all of the missing pieces to your divorce puzzle. Have you created a strong divorce case for the court and eliminated the "He said, She said" testimony?

Here's an idea that will save you heartache, confusion and give you a road map for filing divorce papers.  I'm using Arizona as an example. Put Az.gov in the browser, which pulls up the home site then put family law in the search box which takes you to a site that offers the Arizona Family Law information.  At this point search for divorce and read everything before downloading any divorce forms.

All State Governments offer similar information and this is probably the most reliable source if filing for divorce without legal counsel. If you are representing yourself (pro se), this is time well spent. I have written articles on the major errors of those contemplating divorce a jillion times, but almost 75% of pro se litigants are still losing their in court, because they didn't know courtroom protocol or family law rules in their State.

It's so unfair to see so many articles that actually aren't enabling the pro se litigants - so many times these articles actually demoralize, pitty and give the pro se litigant excuses for their struggles in the courtroom. Not taking the time to learn your State Laws or learn the correct way to fill out divorce forms is a feeble excuse - you have the right to represent yourself, but you also have the responsibility of learning how to do this correctly.

This article wasn't written to be brutal or beat up pro se litigants, but it's about being responsible, engaged and equipping oneself with the information that is available. All States have workshops and venues established to help the pro se litigants and all State Governments offer information on family law and divorce.

As Always,
Little Tboca

Good Bad & Ugly - Pro Se Divorce Litigants

The good news is pro se divorce litigants can receive a favorable decision from the family law judge. The bad news is just because you have the right to represent yourself doesn't mean you will win in divorce court. The ugly is strictly this - too many pro se litigants go to court totally unprepared.

The American Bar Association and over 1200 judges that were interviewed say that pro se litigants lose more than they should in divorce cases. So often the pro se litigant doesn't receive a favorable decision from the divorce judge - the ABA explains some of the reasons. 

The American Bar Association says, “Not knowing the legal requirements or procedural rules, omitting important signatures, not following Court schedule, missing deadlines are but a few of the problems that Pro Se litigants experience.” 

The Judges responded by saying, pro se divorce litigants are struggling and often lose more than they should in divorce court.  Statistics also show that a large percentage of pro se litigants leave the courtroom with their bucket half empty. 

A few other problems that weakens a pro se litigants divorce case can't be blamed on the judicial system; (They don't know the Statute of Limitations in their State, (2) They don't know how to fill out interrogatories, and (3) They don't know how to serve papers legally on their spouse. All it takes is a click of the mouse to find the answers on their State's Government website under divorce or family law.

The laws of our land do say one has the right to represent himself, but there are many responsibilities that accompany that law. If you want to receive a favorable decision from the divorce judge, you must be prepared to back up your statements in court with evidence or hard facts. Study family divorce law, build your case and learn courtroom protocol. Pro se litigation seems to be the new fad - but buyer beware.  

Representing yourself requires a lot of hard work. Most State government sites offer workshops and a variety of venues that will assist you in preparing your divorce case. There is a company ( www.caseboss.com) not launched yet that has 30 openings available for those contemplating or going thru divorce. 

They are offering the use of their site free of charge for 1 year, no hidden charges. If you've never had experiencing building or creating a case - send their team an email and they'll be glad to get you started. 

Divorce is tough and pro se litigants have one day in court and a small window of time to present their case to a family law judge. Don’t end up in divorce court with a bunch of lose papers, receipts and sticky notes – build a case that is airtight and strive for a favorable decision from the judge. Quit shuffling thru papers, learn how to organize documents by day, time and subject – learn how to create specific reports, tag information and prepare a strong case.  

Go to www.caseboss.com   the service is free for one year for people contemplating divorce or going through divorce - there's a great team at your fingertips to answer questions and guide you for 1 year.

As Always,
Little Tboca

How Child Custody is Determined

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The “Best Interest of the Children” is a phrase worth remembering.  If your divorce is being contested, the judge may be the one who has to make the final custody decisions.  The priority of most family law judges is the children, because technically they are acting as a liaison for the children.  Thank goodness divorce judges put the children first.

If the parents can work out the custody situation together actually thinking about the best interest of their child or children, it can be a win win situation for both parents and the children.

When both parents have been equal or almost equal caregivers, possibly joint custody would be a good choice. This allows parents to make decisions for the children on education, health, extra curricular activities, religion etc. Joint custody does appear best for the parents and/or children - when the children are shuffled back from one home to the other it may be a hard adjustment for the children to make.

Judges will delve into the joint custody issue, because he or she wants to feel that both parents are accountable, responsible and capable of making decisions together in the best interest of the child or children.  It’s a difficult call for a judge, because they are trying to decide if both parents are equal in their parenting capabilities and if both parents can work as a team to mentor, love and care for the little ones. 

Physical custody and legal custody are often intertwined.  The physical piece of this type custody means the child will live with one parent the majority of the time. This parent is considered the “custodial parent.”

The non custodial parent may be granted physical custody which means he or she will be a decision maker in important issues like health, education and religion etc.

With unmarried parents, laws in most states favor giving the mother sole custody if in fact she has demonstrated that she is a good parent. If the mother is unable to care for the child, the other parent (father) usually gets custody.

Family law judges get beaten up for making the tough custody decisions, but remember they consider the child first and what is in the “best interest of the child.”  

Custody of the children is the toughest decision family law judges must make, because sometimes it seems both parents have shared equal responsibility in rearing the children.  At times when the child or children are older the judge may talk with them and ask them their preferences. 

It is a good idea to check out your state’s family laws specifically the child custody laws regarding primary caregivers. Both parents should try to make the best choice for the children and not use the children as pawns in their divorce.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Guest Bloggers Welcome

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Guests "r" Always Welcome

Share information with those going thru Divorce

Send articles or blogs to littletboca@gmail.com

• Guests who are contemplating divorce
• Guests who are going thru divorce
• Guest bloggers on "Divorce"
• Divorce Attorneys
• Divorce Judges

Good information is like "Gold" and a great way to give a hand up to those going thru divorce

As Always,

Little Tboca

Child Custody - Children Come First

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If a couple is contemplating divorce, there is one major issue that should be their priority.  Too often one or both are so wrapped up in an emotional angry war that they neglect their most important responsibility.  The children should always be the priority when preparing to file for a divorce – not 2^nd or 3^rd down the ladder of priorities. 

A family law judge will be the first to share with the litigants that his greatest concern is the children – he or she actually acts as a liaison for the children.  The judge first and foremost will make decisions which are in the best interest of the children.  He or she will want to know who the primary caregiver has been, who feeds, clothes and mentors the children.  

Which parent takes an active part in the children’s lives such as extra - curricular activity, homework, school activities and necessary medical attention? 

Often times both parents share in raising their children and the judge will then have to make a decision, which parent gets physical custody while the other parent is granted visitation rights.  Both parents will be awarded legal custody as long as both parents are responsible and capable of making good decisions for the children. 

 

Don’t ever assume that just because the judge grants you physical custody of the children along with child support and alimony that this privilege can’t be removed if you have reneged on your responsibilities.  A friend of mine who was granted legal and visitation rights ended up having full custody of the children – he proved that his ex was doing drugs, drinking and overall neglecting the children.

Child custody is top priority for a family law judge.  In a contentious divorce, don’t expect any favors or freebies from the judge when it comes to the children.  No matter how angry you are with your spouse, it is wise to sit down and discuss quietly what choices will actually be the best for the kids.  If both parents are responsible and can show the judge they’ve worked out a parenting plan that is in the children’s favor, he or she certainly will consider this as a possibility. 

Here is a video from Findlaw that discusses briefly the different types of child custody – although rare there are times when a divorce judge deems both parents unfit to raise the children.  When this occurs the judge can’t in good faith give either parent the children. As Always, Little Tboca

Divorce Isn't A Walk in the Park

So you’ve made the decision that the big “D” is the answer to all of your woes.  You’re angry, emotions running rampant and its payback time for the one that you have been living with for years.  It’s time to move on with your life to shed this marital relationship and live happily ever after.

Here are a few questions that need to be answered before you plunge into a divorce – if you answer “no” to any of these questions you’re not ready to even think about filing for divorce.

1.       Do you know the Statute of Limitations in your State

2.       Do you know what divorce forms should be used

3.       Do you know your State laws about serving a spouse divorce papers

4.       Are you eligible for a “Summary” divorce

5.       Do you know what county or precinct you’ll file divorce papers

6.       Do you know how to answer a divorce petition

7.       Do you know the laws about child custody

8.       Do you know how to fill out interrogatories

9.       Do you know the residency requirements in your state

If you aren’t sure about any of the questions above, then go to your State government site and find the answers.  Don’t depend on the Internet to answer all these questions because you’re certainly on a “need to know” basis and you must follow the famly laws in your State.

 

Even if you are planning on hiring legal counsel, it’s your responsibility to know the preliminary procedures required for filing a divorce.  1200 judges were interviewed recently and they stated that over 50% of those representing themselves or going pro se don’t have a clue about courtroom protocol or filling out divorce papers correctly.  They go on further to state that most pro se litigants leave the courtroom with their bucket less than half full, meaning you’ve just shot yourself in the foot and your errors will affect your future possibly for years.

It’s time to stop blaming judges – it’s time to do your homework and study the family laws in your State.  It’s totally unfair to blame the judge, the attorney, your spouse for your errors.  So before filing divorce papers start building your case. 

You want custody of the children – then show proof that you’re the best choice as the primary caregiver.  If you want alimony, then you need to show the judge why you actually deserve alimony.  Alimony laws are changing throughout the USA and there again it’s a good idea to find out what the alimony laws are in your State.

Document all liabilities such as auto payments, charge cards, loans, mortgage payment and include marital assets. If there is a pre- nuptial agreement document it so the judge can review and make his or her decision.  If there are major assets that you brought to the marriage, document all of them showing date of purchase and paid receipts.

Honesty is the best policy here – don’t attempt to blindside your spouse, attorney or the judge or it will probably bite you in the fanny.  If you have savings or a retirement fund that your spouse doesn’t know about, include it. 

So before filing for the big “D” remember that what you don’t know may hurt you - take ample time to prepare yourself before your day in court arrives.  If you allow anger, emotions and the desire to make a big “pay back, your divorce will probably end up in one gigantic train wreck.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce Attorney vs. Pro Se Litigant

The face off between your spouse’s legal counsel and yourself (Pro se) isn’t a pretty picture. One is experienced in courtroom procedure, knows family law like the back of their hand and the other is in between a rock and a hard place.  So what would be the best approach for a pro se litigant when he’s going into the game with two strikes against him?

Many remember the story about the shepherd boy and Goliath – a young boy had come to the table to do a man’s job.  You can go to divorce court prepared to wear the hat of an attorney if you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, sweat and do the hard work.  

Don’t depend on a bunch of glorified advertisement about how easy it is to represent yourself in a court of law – it’s not easy.  It takes determination, resilience and the ability to acquire the tools that will allow you to present a strong case in court. 

The government site in your state will get you off to a good start, find out exactly what divorce forms are required, how to serve your spouse, what the Statute of Limitations are and determine which court in your area will hear your divorce.

The government sites usually offer support by addressing the laws on divorce with or without children, alimony, child custody, division of marital assets and most states have workshops, self help venues that are easily accessed. 

If you’re going to whip it on Goliath, then learn everything you can about family law and courtroom protocol. Don’t ever assume that the divorce judge will give you a favorable decision because you’re a good person, have been responsible and faithful to your soon to be ex. 

You need to go back several years document everything concerning the marital relationship, make three copies of the information and have hard evidence to present to the family law judge. 

Here’s an example of the “he said, she said” testimony that won’t hold up in court.  If you go to your banker and say I deposited $700 in my account last week and it wasn’t credited to my account. The banker will say, “Mr. Jones show me evidence, a receipt or proof that you made this deposit.

This is exactly what the divorce judge will say in court,” show me proof that you’ve been the primary caregiver of the children, that you’ve been a responsible party. Learn how to craft and build a powerful winning case for the judge. It’s your life, your future and the divorce judge has a small window of time to review evidence and make final decisions.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Legal Aid Changes & the Birth of the Online Quickie Divorce

Welcome to Scott, a guest blogger - this information shared by Scott shows how commercialized "divorce" is in 2013. Those contemplating divorce should be cautious when preparing for a divorce. 

There are two top spots for the most stressful events in a person’s life – one of these is divorce. For children it can be a terrible life changing experience that may never be perhaps understood until  they become adults. There seems to be no way around the upset but until recent changes in the Legal Aid system at least all vulnerable people were able to get financial help with the divorce proceedings and any custody battle. 

The BBC reported on a case in June, where the only way the couple could afford to get out of a very stressful relationship was with the help of Legal Aid, as costs can be very high and good legal advice expensive.

With the change to the Legal Aid law in April 2013 The Legal Aid, Sentencing and Punishment of Offenders Act (LASPO), there are now vast areas which will not be considered to qualify for any funding e.g. divorce and attached family cases where custody and living arrangements have to be decided, some education and employment law, personal injury and certain negligence cases. 

The ensuing problem will be great as many desperate people have to seek out alternative and possibly unfair alternatives to escape from or end up in court with no legal representation. The most vulnerable people will be the ones who suffer warned the law society to the BBC in April as the Act became Law.

So what are the alternatives to Legal Aid funding for Divorce?

It is hardly surprising that technology has swooped in to try and fill the gap. We have the rise of the ‘Quickie Online Divorce’......and though they seem a good deal being quick and fast there are a lot of pitfalls and disadvantages.  A quick delve into Google and you will come up with an ever increasing list of these new adverts.

Divorce services online are done to a price – anything from £37.00 to £200.00 and as with most things you get only what you pay for! One of the main hidden costs is that the basic legal fees just for the court process will cost £410.00.....and this is something you personally have to pay no matter whether you use a website or a solicitor. So it is a case of ‘buyer beware’ as some of these online divorce websites are unregulated and will not have any professional indemnity insurance!

Then there are of course ‘Apps’ for your smart phone, laptop or tablet or any internet device. These web software divorce services are set up to guide you through the process of all the scenarios involved in divorce. On first glance they seem quite helpful and straightforward but not having had any reliable feedback about this, it remains to be seen how good they are.

Getting a divorce is a serious and can be a complicated process and as such you are well advised to consult legal advice from professional solicitors before going online shopping for a ‘quickie divorce’. As I stated earlier you only get what you pay for and for something as life changing as divorce cheapest is not always best. 

Initially look around for some free advice – some solicitor practices now run ‘divorce surgeries’ for people who cannot afford solicitors, and online you can read specialist blogs of family solicitors.

Conclusively – yes – when you start considering divorce do go online.....but not necessarily shopping for that cheapest quick solution which at first seems the best way out of your problems. It could be the start of even bigger ones!!

Difference in a Powerful Divorce Case & "He said, she Said"

So often unfavorable decisions occur because litigants depend on "he said, she said" evidence. It takes proof or hard facts backed by time, place and occurrence to prepare a divorce case for court.

Don't assume that just because you're a "good person" the family law judge will make a favorable decision in your behalf.

Here's is a new company almost ready to launch who is offering free assistance and support for those contemplating or going thru divorce. It takes time and hard work to prepare a powerful divorce case for court - your goal is to eliminate the "he said, she said" testimony and replace it with actual proof.  Learn how to organize documents by date, time, subject - this is your life, your future and you have one day in court, one small window of time to present a strong divorce case.

There's several openings left - support for one year, no fees or hidden gimmicks.

www.caseboss.com  

www.caseboss.com

Are You a Victim of Domestic Violence?

Are you a victim of domestic violence?  This doesn’t just refer to married couples and no longer is just referred to as “wife abuse.”  Domestic violence encompasses many different types of relationships – it could be a friend, roommate, cohabitants or children.  This type of abuse can be against anyone and is definitely a critical problem in our United States - in fact one of the bigger problems existing in our Nation.

There are many different forms of abuse where one person is trying to control another person thru intimidation, physical or emotional abuse.  Other actions considered abusive would include sexual abuse, stalking, threats etc…

Many people who are suffering from domestic violence aren’t really sure if they are a victim of abuse or not so it’s very important to study and learn what constitutes domestic violence. States vary in their domestic violence laws, so it’s best to consult with an attorney or counselor and study your States laws on this type of abuse.

 Actually at times the abuser doesn’t realize that what they’re doing to another person is abuse.

Friends and family are sometimes the first people to realize that a loved one is being abused.  It is a very difficult conversation to have with a friend or family member that they are in fact a victim of abuse.  Sometimes a spouse is aware of abusive behavior of their partner against the couple children, but they are slow to intervene and some even are in denial. 

Some abusive behavior that can be sugar coated and hidden is when one person controls the purse strings making the other person totally dependent upon them.  Outsiders may not realize that this in fact is going on, because it happens in all walks of life including the poor and wealthy.

Emotional abuse is another severe problem and often occurs over a long period of time – the abuser is actually almost brainwashing the other person attacking them with verbal abuse and false accusations.  So often the abuser has gotten away with this devious behavior without being detected because the one being abused usually doesn’t share this with friends or family. 

 If there are children in the home, they may realize what is happening to a parent, but usually children don’t understand how to intervene and help a parent.

It’s a total myth that only a spouse can get a protective order – a person cohabitating can usually get a protective order (check with your State as the laws vary.)  Many states have laws that allow restraining orders against family members, roommate or other adult relationships etc...  

Domestic abuse runs rampant  in our United States. Don’t be or become a victim of an abuser – stop it immediately.  If you’re not sure what to do, ask for help –

As Always, 

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Cohabitation - What's That???

So you are in a relationship and make the decision to cohabitate – believe it or not there’s some pretty important guidelines that one should know before making this move.  Although cohabitation may be appealing to you and your partner, before jumping into a lion’s den take time to study the family laws in you State concerning cohabitation.

It’s important to have a discussion about the financial responsibility of each party.  Who’s going to pay rent, utilities and other costs?  Many make the mistake of jumping into this type of relationship without considering what happens, if and when there is a parting of the ways.   

Don’t throw all of your money in one pot with the idea of living happily ever after.  Be a good book keeper and maintain a written record of all expenses or major purchases that you make. If buying a house together both names should appear on the contract as buyers – the same with a car if both parties are paying for it. 

A written agreement is a good idea because it gives both parties some legal protection.  Decide what the financial obligations are of each party - write them down and keep a copy of said agreement. This type of arrangement actually protects both parties if in the future there is a separation.

When there are children from this relationship – both parents are responsible for caring and supporting the child or children.  Not being married doesn’t give you a free “not responsible” for children card.

When loaning money it’s best to write a check along with a note on how the loan will be repaid – handing out cash isn’t a good idea – you need a record showing the amount and date of the loan.

Best advice when cohabitating is this - protect yourself by keeping accurate records. If you decide to stay at home and care for the children, consider yet another written agreement that shows the other partner’s legal responsibilities in the event the relationship ends.

Beware of a palimony lawsuit – don’t pretend to be Mr. and Mrs. “Jones” when out in the public eye.  A joint checking account is definitely a “NO No.”  If you’re the one making major purchases and paying for them don’t put the other partners name on the title or contract.

Cohabitation sounds like a neat, easy way to live one’s life, but with this type of arrangement comes many responsibilities.  Neither party gets a free ride here! The family laws in your State will give you good guidelines before making a final decision about cohabitating. 

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

2013 Bad Year for Divorce

Divorce in 2013 presents many problems which are out of your control. In addition to dissolving a marital relationship one must think about the existing economic environment in our Nation. 

Family law judges can’t predict the future and must make their decisions based on present circumstances. 

The recession is still alive and gnawing at our heels – our Nation has acquired a National deficit that is at this point and time almost unsustainable.  Factors such as Obamacare, EPA regulations are determinants that will and are affecting the work force.

What the future holds for those contemplating or going thru divorce is unknown at this time.  One or both parties may lose their jobs or be demoted to part time jobs.  If individuals have to pay for their own health insurance, this will reduce the anticipated monthly income.

It’s the unknowns in 2013 that make divorce such an unpredictable issue. Will there be money to meet monthly bills, pay child support, alimony if you find yourself in the unemployment line?  Will the children suffer dramatically due to your decision?  Will divorce harm both parties and the children at this time?

Anger, emotions, economic problem, financial issues all factor into your decision to get a divorce.  If there’s abuse or excessive problems with addiction, it may be best to get some legal support and discuss your options at this time.  

Probably one of the safest things that one can do before filing divorce papers is to set up a free consultation with an attorney.  Find out how divorce will affect you financially now and in the future.  Find out how marital assets will be divided and discuss what would be in the “best interest” of the children.  Discuss alimony, child custody and liabilities with the attorney.

Divorce is advertise as a commodity that will give you an overnight fix to all of your problems – it is a family law that allows parties to dissolve a marriage, but not necessarily remove personal responsibility or liability. 

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Divorce - Just Get a New Model

It’s a distinct possibility that the divorce rate would drop drastically if marriage was once again a sacred vow to love, honor and obey “till death do us part.”  But in 2013 marriage carries an entirely different connotation – the unspoken vow is if I don’t like it, I’m out of here!  Simple as that – no commitment and too lazy to work on a marital relationship.  

Commitment and communication seems to be relegated to the ancient history shelves.  The proof of this rings loud and clear in 2012, almost 50% of those married for the first time end up in divorce, 

The “grass is greener” or think I’ll try a new model isn’t panning out either. Statistics say almost 60% of those marrying for the second time get a divorce and about 73% of third marriages end up in divorce courts. 

So why have so many opted for divorce?  Lack of commitment would be a good 1^st excuse - unreal expectations probably a great 2^nd reason. The 3^rd comes from the “norm” where one believes they are the privileged meaning the relationship is all about “me, me and me.”

When children are added to the marital relationship one would think maybe those little angels from heaven would be the glue to sustain the marriage, but that doesn’t pan out either.  Around 40% of our children are being raised without their fathers and almost 75% shows the mother as the primary caregiver.  

So maybe if you’re just flat a lazy lump and one that detests commitment and hard work you should take up surfing, sky diving or bungee jumping because marriage isn’t for you.

In closing, half of our Nation’s children will be exposed to divorce – enough said, it’s time for all married adults or those contemplating marriage to start thinking what is “the best” interest of the children.

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without. James C. Dobson

As Always,

Little Tboca

http://www.mckinleyirvin.com/blog/divorce/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/

Divorce - One Shoe Doesn't Fit All

www.caseboss.com

For those contemplating or going thru divorce, it’s a misnomer that once divorced your life will turn into a bed of roses with a beautiful fairly predictable future. Divorce is one event in life that is unpredictable and can change your lifestyle overnight. 

Divorce will terminate the marital relationship, although not necessarily eliminate the need for a civil relationship thereafter.  If children are involved issues such as child custody, alimony, visitation rights have many variables that can change dramatically depending on financial changes, illness, loss of jobs and a times devastating addictions. 

So in reality, divorce allows you to live separately not under the same room with your ex. It does not mean that marital assets will be divided equally, nor does it mean you’re relieved of financial liabilities that you and your spouse accumulated over a period of time.

Divorce isn’t a cure all solution for one wanting their freedom from marital responsibilities and emotional issues – there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to continue or maintain the standard of living that was present during the marriage.

Here’s an interesting article on “ready for divorce.”  It discusses the good, the bad and ugly of divorce.    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/13/divorce-questions-are-you_n_1341987.html

There are many reasons why divorce may be a better solution; (1) Abuse in the family, (2) Extreme addictions and (3) Adulterous relationships that have destroyed the family unit. 

If none of those reasons exit, it might be a good thought to revisit the real reasons you’re adamant about getting divorce.  Just don’t assume that divorce is an answer to all of your woes – take time to learn more about the intricate family laws that will affect your life after divorce.

Possibly visiting legal counsel and getting a free ½ hour consultation would be a good alternative before making a definite decision that divorce is the best possible solution. 

Divorce isn’t a predicable and as said earlier it is power packed with variables, consequences and determinants that will impact your future. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Child Custody - Best Interest of Child

Once a family law judge gives a final order on custody of the child or children, parents should realize that this is an order etched in stone that must be followed to the letter of the law.  When a spouse blatantly and with intent interferes with visitation rights, this should be brought to the attention of the court.

Do not take the law into your own hands and discontinue child support or alimony payments - before taking this child custody issue back to court talk with the ex. See if there are any mitigating circumstances that may be causing the problem.

If it becomes clear that the ex is misusing the child custody order as set down by the judge, its time to consider having a judge change or revisit the orders that he or she has handed down. The judge will be concerned if the ex's behavior is harming the child or children, you must have proof showing the times the ex has refused, interfered or conveniently prevented you your visitation rights.

The judge isn't going to buy into the story that you are the one being inconvenienced, but he or she will consider changing custody orders if the children are suffering. There are circumstances that may require intervention immediately if the spouse is neglecting the children or struggling with an illness or addiction.

It's always best to consult legal counsel on a child custody problem, because jurisdiction and child custody laws vary from state to state. Before meeting with counsel have a journal that shows date and time that you were refused visitation rights or your ex ignored the judge's orders. If the ex makes it a habit of not picking the children up timely or even waits until the next day without telling you or the children, log this information by time and date. The ex's actions may not be in the "best interest" of the children.



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As Always,

Little Tboca
www.caseboss.com

Divorce - Is an Aftershock

Is divorce a real solution or merely a band aid in 2013?  Will dissolving a marriage be the answer to fixing the problems you’re facing?  Maybe you and your spouse have fallen victim to the ever changing DNA of our country.  

Emotions are running high due to hard times that have rocked our Nation’s citizens – fear of what the future may hold is prevalent in millions of households in 2013.   

You’re fed up with your fractured family life – everything about your married life seems

unfair and distorted. No one seems to care, especially your spouse.  Every day is a struggle to exist and keep afloat.  Millions of married men and women are contemplating divorce in 2013 and here’s where the problem begins.

Marital relationships are being tried and tested daily – possibly neither party is to blame for the discontent, anger and tension existing in the homes.  There may be outside stimulants that are gnawing and shredding what once was a nearly perfect relationship between husband and wife.  

It’s a grim picture that the US Census bureau offers on divorce – over 6,000 divorces per day equating to over 46,000 divorces per week.  Some statistics suggest that almost 50% of marriages end up in divorce.  http://www.mckinleyirvin.com/blog/divorce/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/  October 30, 2012

Divorce is like an after shock caused by the times, Government scandals make headlines and we the people take the hit left to pick up the pieces of a corrupt Government.  Starting with the housing bubble, the stimulus package, and the many changes in our Government administration America has steadily regressed. 

Not just married couples, but people from all walks of life have suffered due to a fractured economy, an ever growing National debt, steady increase in unemployment and a barrage of other things that are attacking us.

The sad thing is marriage is taking a “hit’ due to outside influences that the average human being can’t control.  The middle class which has been the Nation’s mainstay is quickly disappearing.  This class of people has truly been hit below the belt due to loss of homes, jobs, savings, retirement and hope. 

In many instance, the blame for a broken marriage has shifted from the real culprits to the spouse.  Dysfunction in the family often times comes form the loss of hope. Spouses have lost their jobs, their homes and their ability to function, not because of their marriage partner but because of the disgusting DNA that our Nation now embraces. 

Possibly the old adage that two heads are better than one should be revisited, because it’s going to be pretty darn lonely out there if you go it alone.  It’s almost impossible for either spouse to function alone when neither one has a job. Maybe understanding what is actually creating havoc in the marriage would ease the anger and uncontrolled emotions that husband and wife are experiencing daily.

 God is alive and well and times will get better.  People will once again have jobs, homes and hope – nothing wrong with putting divorce on hold for a while. 

As Always,

Little Tboca   

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