"Good, Bad & Ugly" of Divorce

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The good news is pro se divorce litigants can receive a favorable decision from the family law judge. The bad news is just because you have the right to represent yourself doesn't mean you will win in divorce court. The ugly is strictly this - too many pro se litigants go to court totally unprepared.

The American Bar Association and over 1200 judges that were interviewed say that pro se litigants lose more than they should in divorce cases. So often the pro se litigant doesn't receive a favorable decision from the divorce judge - the ABA explains some of the reasons. 

The American Bar Association says, “Not knowing the legal requirements or procedural rules, omitting important signatures, not following Court schedule, missing deadlines are but a few of the problems that Pro Se litigants experience.” 

The Judges responded by saying, pro se divorce litigants are struggling and often lose more than they should in divorce court.  Statistics also show that a large percentage of pro se litigants leave the courtroom with their bucket half empty. 

A few other problems that weakens a pro se litigants divorce case can't be blamed on the judicial system; (They don't know the Statute of Limitations in their State, (2) They don't know how to fill out interrogatories, and (3) They don't know how to serve papers legally on their spouse. All it takes is a click of the mouse to find the answers on their State's Government website under divorce or family law.

The laws of our land do say one has the right to represent himself, but there are many responsibilities that accompany that law. If you want to receive a favorable decision from the divorce judge, you must be prepared to back up your statements in court with evidence or hard facts. Study family divorce law, build your case and learn courtroom protocol. Pro se litigation seems to be the new fad - but buyer beware.  

Representing yourself requires a lot of hard work. Most State government sites offer workshops and a variety of venues that will assist you in preparing your divorce case. There is a company ( www.caseboss.com) not launched yet that has 30 openings available for those contemplating or going thru divorce. 

They are offering the use of their site free of charge for 1 year, no hidden charges. If you've never had experiencing building or creating a case - send their team an email and they'll be glad to get you started. 

Divorce is tough and pro se litigants have one day in court and a small window of time to present their case to a family law judge. Don’t end up in divorce court with a bunch of lose papers, receipts and sticky notes – build a case that is airtight and strive for a favorable decision from the judge. Quit shuffling thru papers, learn how to organize documents by day, time and subject – learn how to create specific reports, tag information and prepare a strong case.  

Go to www.caseboss.com   the service is free for one year for people contemplating divorce or going through divorce - there's a great team at your fingertips to answer questions and guide you for 1 year.

Guest Bloggers Welcome

Guests "r" Always Welcome

Share information with those going thru Divorce

Send articles or blogs to littletboca@gmail.com

• Guests who are contemplating divorce
• Guests who are going thru divorce
• Guest bloggers on "Divorce"
• Divorce Attorneys
• Divorce Judges

Good information is like "Gold" and a great way to give a hand up to those going thru divorce

As Always,

Little Tboca

Guest Blogger - Divorce Pointers

Welcome to James Scott, guest blogger. Excited to have James contribute to "Divorce Den."

Consider these points :-

·        

•       First and foremost the main problem faced with divorce is that for the most part the husband and wife, or partners, are obviously very emotionally upset with the upheaval and the outcome of their decision to divorce. 

•       No matter how hard you try once you are embroiled in the process of any break-up it is too difficult to be emotionally logical and practical. This means that neither party are able to think sensibly or without bias. You will need independent advice from someone who is not personally known, as a friend or acquaintance, to you or your partner.

• ·        For some people the break up will mean the end of a lifestyle and a loss of their home, perhaps having spent the majority of their adult life bringing up children and building a home together.  Others may have perhaps been together for a shorter time but be involved in a binding legal business partnership, which is the main financial support for the family. All existing physical and mental stabilities in normal life are now changed.

• ·         Until the problems of the divorce dilemma is faced with an unbiased focus there will seem to be no way forward for the persons involved which only adds to the mental anguish of the partners. Unfortunately you may be so distraught with the initial cause of the marriage break down that looking at the situation clearly will be all but impossible, you may initially feel that you just want ‘out’ as quickly as possible without considering any of the resulting chaos which may occur if you do this.

• ·        This legally binding marriage has to be broken sensibly and fairly for both parties involved. There may be property, children, money or perhaps a business partnership all in the mix to be dealt with. This is where you have the need for support. Some people are lucky and may have strong family ties or good friends to help them through the process.  

      However more often than not, the solicitor chosen to handle the case is the only one who will be able to have access to all the necessary legal aspects which must be dealt with!

My advice therefore is to choose your legal advice carefully!

5 main points to help you through the divorce dilemma:

1.      1.   Make some personal decisions about what outcome you would like from the divorce and try to look on the ‘up side’ of the split........there will be some! Do the pros and con’s list – this is for your own personal use, once you see it written down it will help you to make further decisions.

2.      2.   If you are able to discuss and agree any part of your divorce outcome with your partner - do it. Your solicitor will be able to check out and carry forward any of your wishes and advise you on the practical side of the decisions which will affect you personally.

3.     3.    Ask around; check social and advertising media to find the solicitor who may have specialist knowledge of your circumstances.

4.     4.  Consider legal and personal financial costs – whatever legal advice you take will have to be paid for and divorce fees are now quite competitive.

5.      5.   Think carefully about this piece of advice which is given with experience:  do not consider the other party in your decisions. Remember the cause of a divorce often comes happens with the end of caring for the other partner anyway!  He/she will have their own solicitor/family/friends to support their wishes and they may not be considering your feelings and future at all.

Whatever the reason for the break up you should always ask solicitors who will be able to provide you with the correct legal advice relating to your situation. Your solicitor must have full knowledge of all the legally binding ties between both parties involved in the divorce. Without accurate information of your financial and obligatory ties with the other party involved your solicitor will not be able to help and support you. Getting this information correct is crucial to a happy outcome for everyone.

James Scott

Guest Blogger

Divorce A Roller Coaster Ride

Possibly the biggest mistake made by those contemplating divorce is allowing their emotions to dictate their actions. Contested divorces usually end up in a potentially dangerous roller coaster ride that can and often ends up in a super crash, because one party didn’t have their seat belt on…

It’s human nature to want to punish and pay back your spouse, and that’s exactly the reason so many people settle for detours. Getting a divorce isn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination and you owe it to yourself to slow down and learn what is involved in the divorce process.

Detours like paying $149 bucks for divorce forms that often aren’t approved by your state’s courts or falling for the false information that is offered on going pro se (self - representation.)  Pro se divorce is a tough way to go if you and your spouse can’t agree on child custody, alimony or division of marital assets.

Anger, confusion and the intense desire to take control of one’s life can lead to detours that actually derail your chance to control your destiny. Before heading down the bumpy divorce road, find out what your options are and develop a game plan. 

One of the safest ways to get the correct divorce forms is from your state’s government website. Each state offers a roadmap explaining in how to file for divorce. Go to your government website and search for divorce.

Before filing for divorce study your state family laws. Find out what your state’s Statute of Limitations, learn how to legally serve papers on your spouse and verify what family law court will handle your divorce case.  This is just preliminary information, but will prevent many mistakes as you head into the divorce process.

Most of the state government sites give you step by step instruction on filing your papers, answering interrogatories, temporary orders etc. If children are involved, study the information at theses sites on child custody, child support and parenting time. There’s a wealth of knowledge available if you just take the time to study and read it.

Another excellent resource is http://family.findlaw.com/divorce/  this site offers in depth information on family law, divorce, child custody, alimony, division of marital assets and offers the government websites in each state where you can get your divorce forms.

It’s your life, your future and it is possible to experience a favorable decision from the family law judge. Control your emotions, develop a good game plan and be diligent about finding answers to all of your questions. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce Isn't A Cure All

Although divorce seems to be a fad, it may have future problems that many don’t anticipate or realize.  

Divorce is not a cure all for your marital problems and often times divorce actually increases your financial obligations and can dramatically change your present life style.

A family law judge will to the best of his or her ability follow the laws in your State, but that doesn’t mean division of property and assets aren’t always divided equally. 

Nor does it mean that divorce will relieve either man or woman of their responsibility to their children or their financial obligations. 

Although the old antiquated alimony laws are changing in many States, there is a possibility that the one who has given up their professional life to raise the children will in fact receive alimony for a period of time that allows them to further their education or do whatever is necessary to rejoin the workforce. 

Sometimes when it comes to child custody, the judge has a real struggle because parents aren’t residing in the same State.  He or she must try to decide what is in fact in “the best interest” of the children and that can be a tough decision to make due to lack of concrete information.  The judge knows one parent will have limited visitation, because of the commuting factor and he also knows that to the children this can be devastating almost like totally losing a parent. 

The judge can’t ensure that the parents will maintain a civil relationship when it comes to visitation or custody – many parents misuses and abuse the judge’s orders using them as a weapon against their ex. 

So don’t expect a bed of roses once the divorce is final – in fact you may experience a living “hell” until the children reach age of maturity.  The family law judge always hopes that both parties will consider the welfare of the children and act like adults working  together on child custody arrangements.

Contested divorces can be pretty much like playing Russian roulette with your future – one never knows until the judge passes down his or her final decision how their day in court will play out.  

The family law judge’s job is to follow the laws in their State – it isn’t their responsibility or job to punish your soon to be ex even though you feel that you’ve been mistreated during your marital relationship. 

So if you’re contemplating divorce, study the family laws in your State.  If you’re going pro se a consultation with an attorney might help you in making that tough decision or you might attend some of the workshops and divorce venues provided by your State. 

So often emotions dictate one’s actions and that in itself is pretty scary.  Treat divorce as a business transaction, get a handle on the emotions if you can and proceed with caution.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Pro Se Litigants Wear Attorney's Hat

The face off between your spouse’s legal counsel and yourself (Pro se) isn’t a pretty picture. One is experienced in courtroom procedure, knows family law like the back of their hand and the other is in between a rock and a hard place.  So what would be the best approach for a pro se litigant when he’s going into the game with two strikes against him?

Many remember the story about the shepherd boy and Goliath – a young boy had come to the table to do a man’s job.  You can go to divorce court prepared to wear the hat of an attorney if you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, sweat and do the hard work.  

Don’t depend on a bunch of glorified advertisement about how easy it is to represent yourself in a court of law – it’s not easy.  It takes determination, resilience and the ability to acquire the tools that will allow you to present a strong case in court. 

The government site in your state will get you off to a good start, find out exactly what divorce forms are required, how to serve your spouse, what the Statute of Limitations are and determine which court in your area will hear your divorce.

The government sites usually offer support by addressing the laws on divorce with or without children, alimony, child custody, division of marital assets and most states have workshops, self help venues that are easily accessed. 

If you’re going to whip it on Goliath, then learn everything you can about family law and courtroom protocol. Don’t ever assume that the divorce judge will give you a favorable decision because you’re a good person, have been responsible and faithful to your soon to be ex. 

You need to go back several years document everything concerning the marital relationship, make three copies of the information and have hard evidence to present to the family law judge. 

Here’s an example of the “he said, she said” testimony that won’t hold up in court.  If you go to your banker and say I deposited $700 in my account last week and it wasn’t credited to my account. The banker will say, “Mr. Jones show me evidence, a receipt or proof that you made this deposit.

This is exactly what the divorce judge will say in court,” show me proof that you’ve been the primary caregiver of the children, that you’ve been a responsible party. Learn how to craft and build a powerful winning case for the judge. It’s your life, your future and the divorce judge has a small window of time to review evidence and make final decisions. www.caseboss.com hasn't launched yet and offering the use of their software free for one year - learn how to organize your documents, prepare a winning case for divorce court.  

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce Not a Cure All Solution

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For those contemplating or going thru divorce, it’s a misnomer that once divorced your life will turn into a bed of roses with a beautiful fairly predictable future. Divorce is one event in life that is unpredictable and can change your lifestyle overnight. 

Divorce will terminate the marital relationship, although not necessarily eliminate the need for a civil relationship thereafter.  If children are involved issues such as child custody, alimony, visitation rights have many variables that can change dramatically depending on financial changes, illness, loss of jobs and a times devastating addictions. 

So in reality, divorce allows you to live separately not under the same room with your ex. It does not mean that marital assets will be divided equally, nor does it mean you’re relieved of financial liabilities that you and your spouse accumulated over a period of time.

Divorce isn’t a cure all solution for one wanting their freedom from marital responsibilities and emotional issues – there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to continue or maintain the standard of living that was present during the marriage.

Here’s an interesting article on “ready for divorce.”  It discusses the good, the bad and ugly of divorce.    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/13/divorce-questions-are-you_n_1341987.html

There are many reasons why divorce may be a better solution; (1) Abuse in the family, (2) Extreme addictions and (3) Adulterous relationships that have destroyed the family unit. 

If none of those reasons exit, it might be a good thought to revisit the real reasons you’re adamant about getting divorce.  Just don’t assume that divorce is an answer to all of your woes – take time to learn more about the intricate family laws that will affect your life after divorce.

Possibly visiting legal counsel and getting a free ½ hour consultation would be a good alternative before making a definite decision that divorce is the best possible solution. 

Divorce isn’t predicable and as said earlier it is power packed with variables, consequences and determinants that will impact your future. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Judges Final Order on Custody

Once a family law judge gives a final order on custody of the child or children, parents should realize that this is an order etched in stone that must be followed to the letter of the law.

When a spouse blatantly and with intent interferes with visitation rights, this should be brought to the attention of the court.

Do not take the law into your own hands and discontinue child support or alimony payments - before taking this child custody issue back to court talk with the ex. See if there are any mitigating circumstances that may be causing the problem.

If it becomes clear that the ex is misusing the child custody order as set down by the judge, its time to consider having a judge change or revisit the orders that he or she has handed down. The judge will be concerned if the ex's behavior is harming the child or children, you must have proof showing the times the ex has refused, interfered or conveniently prevented you your visitation rights.

The judge isn't going to buy into the story that you are the one being inconvenienced, but he or she will consider changing custody orders if the children are suffering. There are circumstances that may require intervention immediately if the spouse is neglecting the children or struggling with an illness or addiction.

It's always best to consult legal counsel on a child custody problem, because jurisdiction and child custody laws vary from state to state. Before meeting with counsel have a journal that shows date and time that you were refused visitation rights or your ex ignored the judge's orders. If the ex makes it a habit of not picking the children up timely or even waits until the next day without telling you or the children, log this information by time and date. The ex's actions may not be in the "best interest" of the children.

As Always,
Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce in 2014 May Not be a Good Idea

Is divorce a real solution or merely a band aid in 2014?  Will dissolving a marriage be the answer to fixing the problems you’re facing?  Maybe you and your spouse have fallen victim to the ever changing DNA of our country.  

Emotions are running high due to hard times that have rocked our Nation’s citizens – fear of what the future may hold is prevalent in millions of households in 2014.   

You’re fed up with your fractured family life – everything about your married life seems

unfair and distorted. No one seems to care, especially your spouse.  Every day is a struggle to exist and keep afloat.  Millions of married men and women are contemplating divorce in 2014 and here’s where the problem begins.

Marital relationships are being tried and tested daily – possibly neither party is to blame for the discontent, anger and tension existing in the homes.  There may be outside stimulants that are gnawing and shredding what once was a nearly perfect relationship between husband and wife.  

It’s a grim picture that the US Census bureau offers on divorce – over 6,000 divorces per day equating to over 46,000 divorces per week.  Some statistics suggest that almost 50% of marriages end up in divorce.  http://www.mckinleyirvin.com/blog/divorce/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/  October 30, 2012

Divorce is like an after shock caused by the times, Government scandals make headlines and we the people take the hit left to pick up the pieces of a corrupt Government.  Starting with the housing bubble, the stimulus package, Benghazi, NSA, IRS and the many changes in our Government administration America has steadily regressed. 

Obamacare may in fact harm many families financially with higher co-pays or deductibles along with the strong possibility since many have lost their Primary Care physician that a family member will not receive the necessary medical attention.

Not just married couples, but people from all walks of life have suffered due to a fractured economy, an ever growing National debt, steady increase in unemployment and a barrage of other things that are attacking us.

The sad thing is marriage is taking a “hit’ due to outside influences that the average human being can’t control.  The middle class which has been the Nation’s mainstay is quickly disappearing.  This class of people has truly been hit below the belt due to loss of homes, jobs, savings, retirement and hope. 

In many instance, the blame for a broken marriage has shifted from the real culprits to the spouse.  Dysfunction in the family often times comes form the loss of hope. Spouses have lost their jobs, their homes and their ability to function, not because of their marriage partner but because of the disgusting DNA that our Nation now embraces. 

Possibly the old adage that two heads are better than one should be revisited, because it’s going to be pretty darn lonely out there if you go it alone.  It’s almost impossible for either spouse to function alone when neither one has a job. Maybe understanding what is actually creating havoc in the marriage would ease the anger and uncontrolled emotions that husband and wife are experiencing daily.

 God is alive and well and times will get better.  People will once again have jobs, homes and hope – nothing wrong with putting divorce on hold for a while. 

As Always,

Little Tboca   

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Are You a Team Player With Your Attorney?

Although divorce attorneys have acquired a lot of negative publicity, the fact remains there are many great divorce attorneys who are prepared to represent you in good faith.  

Theirs is a profession just like any other and it’s their livelihood, of course there are charges for the service they offer. Like physicians they have a high overhead and must pay the monthly bills. Divorce isn't a free commodity!

Do your homework find a list of attorneys who have a good divorce track record, select one from that list and set up a preliminary consultation.  Normally there isn’t any charge to this first meeting – so go prepared with questions that need answered. Ask what the hourly charges are, how much if any deposit required and set up a feasible schedule limiting office visits, telephone calls etc. 

Take control of the attorney/client relationship – it’s not fun to be blindsided with unnecessary attorney fees. Your attorney will be the first one to emphasize the importance of working together as a team – even a good attorney can’t go it alone so be prepared to participate in the partnership.

Difficulties that arise due to a divorce litigants false expectations include; (1) Because you’ve been a good parent and good provider you expect a favorable decision by the judge, (2) Because you have been the main breadwinner, you feel that most of or a large portion of the marital assets should be yours, (3) You expect the attorney to win your case regardless of family law or the many errors you’ve made during the marriage, (4) You decide in your mind what is morally correct and expect a favorable decision from the judge based on your moral perception.

False expectations immediately create a tension between attorney and client.  The attorney needs all information regarding marital assets, child care, participation with child or children, financial obligations, pre nuptial contract if any, retirement funds or savings etc. Give the attorney all information concerning the marital relationship. Paint a detailed picture of the marriage including all documents showing paid receipts, time, date and resolution.

Don’t misrepresent or lie to your attorney - lies can be the reason for an unfavorable decision from the divorce judge.  Team work equates to this – you give your attorneys the tools that he or she needs to build a winning case in court.  An attorney needs proof, not a bunch of “he said, she said,” gibberish.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Collaborate Divorce Might be a Perfect Fit

If you jump online and study the statistics on contested divorces, it’s pretty scary and very confusing.  It’s like husband and wife have put on their armor and ready for battle, any battle just as long as they win. Its payback time and a winner take all scenario.

One of the truly terrifying thoughts about a contested divorce is this – often times one spouse is going pro se (representing themselves) while the other spouse has hired a divorce attorney with a great track record.  This is like letting a junk yard dog attack a miniature poodle – little chance of competing when the pro se litigant doesn’t understand family laws or courtroom procedure.

What about a divorce pathway that eliminates the courtroom drama, saves money, time and proves to be more equitable for both spouses when done correctly. Collaborative or cooperative law opens doors for both parties and gives them options while adhering to family law.

Each spouse gets an attorney whose credentials include collaborative law.  They meet with their attorneys and discuss division of marital assets, child support, alimony and the shared debt of the married couple. With the assistance of their attorney they know what to expect on each of these issues – anger and emotions are controlled because they understand the critical issues of divorce.

Each attorney will probably inform their clients that the children are a priority and all decisions concerning the children must be in “the best interests” of the children. Husband and wife will have a handle on what to expect when marital assets are divided and they’ll understand prenuptial contracts, retirement funds and shared savings accounts etc. 

If there is an extensive amount of marital assets the attorneys may suggest hiring a third party who is qualified to give them a fair market value of the assets. At the same time they may suggest a preliminary injunction which prevents either spouse from disposing of marital assets prior to the divorce.

Next the spouses along with their attorneys have an informal meeting focused on making the difficult divorce decisions that exist when a married couple is dissolving their marriage.  When one or both parties are in total disagreement, the collaborate attorneys will offer suggestions and legal information that will help the parties arrive at a logical decision.

Collaborate or cooperative divorce is by no way easy, because there are many legal issues that must be factored in such as length of marriage, children’s ages, health and age of spouses, if one spouse has contributed to another’s education or helped them build a business etc.  Divorce is a very contentious issue and it isn’t like a pie that can be split right down the middle – instead family law concentrates on “fair” but not necessarily “equal.”

It is a good way to save time, money, courtroom drama and a great way to do what is in the “best interests” of the children.  If spouses can look at divorce as a business plan that needs both of their input, they will approach the division of marital assets, children, custody and alimony in a different frame of mind.  Collaborate divorce is better for the children allowing them an easier transition and it saves a lot of emotional and financial stress for both parents. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Appeal or Modify Judge's final Divorce Decisions

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What can you do if after your divorce has been granted and your spouse was given physical custody of your children and you feel your children are in danger?   Let’s say you discover that your ex is neglecting your children or is having a drug or alcohol problem.   

Neighbors and family members have told you that your ex is very seldom home with the children or they say the children aren’t going to school regularly or are seldom ever seen with your ex.

There’s a strong possibility that you can ask the court to modify the custody, but remember you must have hard facts or proof that your ex is defaulting on the care of your children.  Judge’s certainly will lend an ear if they feel children are being misused or neglected, because a good divorce judge usually makes decision on behalf of the children.  In other words their decisions are based on what they perceive to be in the best interest for the children. 

There is a strong possibility due to our recession and Obamacare that you have lost your job – usually a judge will listen and try to ease your financial burden.  There again be sure you can prove that you no longer have a job and give the reasons (if you know them) that you were laid off.  2014 may prove to be a very difficult year for those contemplating divorce.

Here are some issues judges hate to revisit.  You and your spouse agreed on the division property and assets prior to the divorce.  You certainly have the right to ask a judge to modify the original agreement, but most of the time the judge will hold you accountable for your original agreement with your ex.

Then again let’s review what happens if you or your spouse totally disagrees with the judge’s final divorce decisions. You have the option of asking counsel to file a brief in your behalf that supports your request to have your divorce reviewed by a higher court.  This brief must contain reasons backed by actual laws that back up your right to challenge the family law judge’s decision. 

A large percentage of the time if a higher court reviews the divorce and divorce proceedings, they will support the judge’s original final decisions.  There are times that a judge has erred (they’re only human) - that is why you have a legal option to appeal your divorce case.

Let’s say after walking out of the courtroom, you decide the property agreement wasn’t satisfactory or the amount of alimony you agreed to pay is too high.  Remember you and your ex sat down together and worked thru the division of property, assets and child support – it’s very unlikely that an Appeals Court will even consider changing the original agreement between yourself and your ex.

It’s a good idea to at least have a consultation with legal counsel before agreeing or signing any divorce papers that are literally etched in concrete.  Family laws vary from State to State and unless you’ve spent time studying the laws in your State legal counsel might be the best plan.

Divorce seldom is both fair and equal when there are children involved – if you’re contemplating divorce, take your time before losing your shirt.  Know your rights, the family laws in your state and make use of the different venues that are offered in all States that can assist you…

As Always,

Little Tboca

Changes in Divorce Laws 2014

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In 2014 divorce laws are changing, be sure to check with an attorney or contact your Government site to see where you can review the new changes to the old antiquated laws. Although you may not agree if you've been counting on spousal support or alimony for a lifetime, it's about to come to a screeching halt in 2014.

Colorado's new laws are effective as of 2014 and the family law judge actually has a formula to figure how long alimony might last and what will be the specified amount of alimony paid by a spouse.  It appears these law may be in the grey area, because depending upon circumstance in the marital relationship, it's sort of up to the judge to make a final decision.

Colorado is restructuring their child support guidelines, so it's very important to study the new changes before you file for divorce or actually end up in divorce court.

Illinois is another State that has been restructuring their family laws in 2013 and 2014.  Here will be the major changes to the old outdated divorce laws.  

The five areas to be addressed in Illinois are:

• Change Illinois to allow for “no grounds” divorce.
• Judgments for Divorce will be issued within 90 days of filing.
• Move away from the percentage formula for child support and towards shared income approach.
• Maintenance awards will be explained in writing.
• Reallocation of parental time and responsibilities.

Another area to be concerned with is the Obamacare laws - areas that may prove very difficult to change or correct would be birth of a child, death, etc...  Adding an infant may result in higher premium payments, but there may be a possibility of getting a tax credit too!  The law is very confusing for consumers, insurers and those outsiders such as IRS who is in charge of implementing our healthcare.

Best advice, if you're contemplating divorce check with an accountant or have a consultation with an attorney before you file your divorce papers.  Many changes have occurred in our States and many couples will be absolutely shocked at the changes, so take your time and do your homework first.  

Kansas, Florida and New York are a few more States who are revising their family laws.  

No doubt these old grandfather family laws needed a face lift because both spouses work in many families and depend upon childcare services or schools to raise their children.  

As Always,

Little Tboca  

Don't Blow Your Divorce in the Courtroom

Divorce is one of the most financially traumatic things you can go through. Money spent on getting mad or getting even is money wasted.
Richard Wagner  

You’ve passed the contemplating divorce stage and you’re headed for court for the showdown. You’ve been stellar in your homework, divorce forms and divorce papers are in order – you dotted ever “I” and crossed every ”T.” 

The divorce case you’re carrying in your briefcase is so airtight that no divorce judge in the USA would dare cross you or give you an unfavorable decision. This is merely wishful thinking on your part!

As you’re taking that final walk into the courtroom, your demeanor and body language isn’t exactly what one would perceive as friendly, in control and calm. Instead you look like a moose on the loose looking for a fight.

Going into the courtroom with all of your hot buttons turned on will blow your day in court clear out of the water.  So you’re mad, your emotions are verging on hatred for your spouse and you don’t care if the whole world knows your feelings, so what?  Not a good philosophy in the courtroom if you’re praying for a favorable decision from the family law judge.

Believe it or not some people forget their court date – not good this is a sure way to lose your case by default.  A judge once said, “can the cheap theatrics,” he or she means watch the body language and verbal interruptions in my courtroom. 

Don’t ever use the social media as a trash bucket – don’t threaten your spouse, defame them, brag about an adulterous relationship or make libelous statements on social media because it will come back to haunt you and bite more than a little piece out of your b—t.

There are occasions when people act in such an outrageous manner in the courtroom or hallways that they’re cuffed and hauled off to a jail cell. Don’t be one of these statistics.

You have a right to be heard in court, but you don’t have a right to disrupt the judge’s courtroom. You’re in control of your destiny – don’t blow your chances for a favorable decision by the judge.  Control emotions, dress appropriately for court, speak respectfully to the judge and have a strong fact laden case to present to the judge.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.
Margaret Atwood 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

No One Can Predict What Will Happen in Divorce Court

Divorce forms have been completed, interrogatories answered and each spouse is anxiously waiting for their day in court assuming the judge's decision will be in their favor.

Divorce decisions by the judge at times may seem unfair. It's a balancing act for family law judges - their goal is to divide marital assets fairly. This doesn't necessarily equate to an equal dollar and cents division of marital assets.

Problems arise when spouses can't seem to agree on anything especially the division of marital assets - each one for whatever reason feels they should receive the lion's share. The one wanting the big hunk feels he or she has been the biggest contributor to the marriage and therefore should get the biggest piece of the cake. They have launched a business successfully, bought their partner very expensive gifts and pretty much been the big bread winner during the marriage.

Normally property or an inheritance belonging to one spouse prior to the marriage will not be subject to division by the court unless in a moment of weakness  title or ownership was given to the other spouse. If this happens these assets will be tossed into the big marital asset bucket to be divided by the judge.

Judges would love to just take every itemized asset and divide it equally between husband and wife, but there are other considerations that he or she must factor into the formula. The parent who is the primary caregiver of the children will probably need the marital home. Health, age, special needs of one party and length of the marriage will be factored into his or her final decision.

Most judges feel the spouse who contributed to their partner's education or helped build the family business - deserves compensation. There remains a big difference between the two words fair and equal!

The family law judge attempts to divide marital assets fairly, but that certainly doesn't always mean equally. Usually when the divorce is contested and the couple has accumulated a lot of marital assets, someone is going to walk out of court feeling the world is against them.

In fact they'll feel abused, misused and be angrier than h---. Before this happens consider talking to a financial planner, tax attorney or have a consult with a divorce attorney.

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Nothing is Free About Divorce

It's everywhere, free divorce, free divorce forms, do it yourself and fill out your own divorce papers - is an epidemic and may be knocking at your door.

Those contemplating divorce or in the process of divorce are actually victims of a defunct system gone awry.

Divorce is marketed like the latest and greatest commodity to hit the streets. Buy it you’ll like it and for a few bucks Mr.or Mrs. Jones you can do it yourself, no problem and live happily ever after. 

Internet companies promoting and advertising divorce are springing up like mushrooms daily. It’s as popular as apple pie and ice cream and you’re getting your daily dose of misinformation for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Whether you’ve hired legal counsel or you’re representing yourself there are a few things that can be done to prevent being blindsided during your divorce.  It’s a great rule of thumb to realize that divorce isn’t all that it’s advertised to be and there will be heartaches, lifestyle changes and obstacles every inch of the way.

The very basic information that may help is this – the divorce laws in each state vary and there’s no one size fits all. If you want the right divorce forms and the right information regarding family law in your State, you have a couple of options.

Usually, it’s possible to have a consult with legal counsel free of charge – this will give you a general overview of the first steps that must be taken when filing for divorce.  Another choice and this is a very good one – go to your state government website and locate the divorce information which includes forms and sometimes tutorials. There are workshops and other self help venues available if you but ask…  

Contested divorces or pro se divorces are tough anyway you slice them and getting a favorable decision from the family law judge is your end goal. 

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Marriage vs Cohabitating

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Divorce law varies from state to state and so do divorce forms. Divorce decisions depend upon the type of relationship you have with other person.

Marriage and cohabitating are two entirely different lifestyles – divorce judges try to make child custody decisions based on the “best interest” of the children.

When couples cohabitate rather than marry, the family law judge in most states grant sole custody of the child or children to the mother, if she is deemed to be a good parent. There are exceptions to this sole custody law if the father can provide evidence that the mother is unstable or unable to function or perform the duties required of a parent.

When the mother isn’t in the home, has passed away or is in an institution the father is granted sole custody over grandparents, aunts, uncles or family friends. The exception to this rule is when the father is unable to provide a home for the children or suffers from chronic addictions, in an institution or has passed away. 

When deciding custody family law judges make final decisions based on the “best interests” of the children – usually the “best interests” of the children supersedes all other laws. A parent is considered to be a fit parent unless he or she is ruled unfit due to personal lifestyle or activities. 

Child custody remains one of the most contentious, heart breaking battles in family law courts. When a good parent allows anger and emotion to dictate their actions they may lose the custody battle before their day in court.

http://www.zoefamilylaw.com/blog/2013/02/texas-father-seeks-sole-custody-of-child.shtml

If a couple is married, judges at times will make the decision to give one parent sole legal custody – this allows one parent to make all major decisions about the child or children’s physical and emotional welfare. 

Often times the judge grants a parent sole physical custody of the children, but grants the other parent visitation rights unless the court feels visitation rights at this time isn’t in the best interest of the children. A judge’s ultimate goal is to allow the children to interact with both parents if possible.

A word of caution about custody battles, if one spouse has legal counsel and one spouse has opted to themselves (pro se,) the spouse with legal counsel will probably get the custody nod from the judge. Of course if the pro se litigant has studied family law, child custody laws and knows courtroom procedures they may win the custody battle – it’s a risk when one spouse has legal counsel. 

Pro se litigants must be prepared to show evidence beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have been the primary caregiver during the marriage. This takes documentation and proof in the courtroom. Child custody battles prove to be a slippery slope that can head any direction – this might be the time to hire legal counsel. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Pathway to Freedom Not Always Pro Se Divorce

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So often pro se divorce isn’t the pathway to freedom – it isn’t a get out of jail free card.  Although pro se divorce is marketed, publicized and promoted, there isn’t any miraculous cure for pro se divorce litigants. Do it yourself divorce or pro se divorce has many hidden problems that need to be addressed. 

The Judicial system throughout the country is trying to assist the litigants by offering workshops and self help venues. There are great divorce websites on the Internet that offer free information and assistance to those contemplating divorce, but there are many Internet sites that prey on pro se litigant wanting their money. 

Don’t fall victim to the Internet sites that tout divorce as fast and easy – those sites play on emotions. Divorce that involves alimony, child custody, child support and division of property isn’t easy. Filling out divorce papers on line is a risk and it’s your life and future that is involved, what appears easy, inexpensive can cost much more than taking the time to do it right.

It’s best to control anger and emotions before jumping off the cliff into a lion’s den.  If divorce is the only option, take time studying the family laws in your State – learn what your options really are before diving into divorce.

Wearing the hat of legal counsel can be grueling and difficult. The Judicial system isn’t exactly user friendly – it takes hours of study and homework to understand how to maneuver within the divorce laws of your State.

In many ways the laws concerning self representation seem to confuse rather than assist litigants. It merely means that you are granted the right to present your divorce case in court without legal counsel – it doesn’t offer anything more than the legal right to represent yourself.

End of conversation, this law doesn’t insure a favorable decision from the judge, legal assistance from the court staff or any other options.  What you see is what you get –before going pro se remember it can be very costly by negatively affecting your future. 

Statistics show that pro se litigants are losing what is rightfully theirs in divorce court, because they fail follow the laws in their State. The pro se litigant can’t continue blaming judges or attorneys – it is their responsibility to follow family laws as established in their State. 

As Always,

Little Tboca