Divorce - A Bed of Roses

www.caseboss.com

For those contemplating or going thru divorce, it’s a misnomer that once divorced your life will turn into a bed of roses with a beautiful fairly predictable future. Divorce is one event in life that is unpredictable and can change your lifestyle overnight. 

Divorce will terminate the marital relationship, although not necessarily eliminate the need for a civil relationship thereafter.  If children are involved issues such as child custody, alimony, visitation rights have many variables that can change dramatically depending on financial changes, illness, loss of jobs and a times devastating addictions. 

So in reality, divorce allows you to live separately not under the same room with your ex. It does not mean that marital assets will be divided equally, nor does it mean you’re relieved of financial liabilities that you and your spouse accumulated over a period of time.

Divorce isn’t a cure all solution for one wanting their freedom from marital responsibilities and emotional issues – there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to continue or maintain the standard of living that was present during the marriage.

Here’s an interesting article on “ready for divorce.”  It discusses the good, the bad and ugly of divorce.    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/13/divorce-questions-are-you_n_1341987.html

There are many reasons why divorce may be a better solution; (1) Abuse in the family, (2) Extreme addictions and (3) Adulterous relationships that have destroyed the family unit. 

If none of those reasons exit, it might be a good thought to revisit the real reasons you’re adamant about getting divorce.  Just don’t assume that divorce is an answer to all of your woes – take time to learn more about the intricate family laws that will affect your life after divorce.

Possibly visiting legal counsel and getting a free ½ hour consultation would be a good alternative before making a definite decision that divorce is the best possible solution. 

Divorce isn’t a predicable and as said earlier it is power packed with variables, consequences and determinants that will impact your future. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce - Aftershock of the Times

 

www.caseboss.com

Is divorce a real solution or merely a band aid in 2013?  Will dissolving a marriage be the answer to fixing the problems you’re facing?  Maybe you and your spouse have fallen victim to the ever changing DNA of our country.  

Emotions are running high due to hard times that have rocked our Nation’s citizens – fear of what the future may hold is prevalent in millions of households in 2013.   

You’re fed up with your fractured family life – everything about your married life seems

unfair and distorted. No one seems to care, especially your spouse.  Every day is a struggle to exist and keep afloat.  Millions of married men and women are contemplating divorce in 2013 and here’s where the problem begins.

Marital relationships are being tried and tested daily – possibly neither party is to blame for the discontent, anger and tension existing in the homes.  There may be outside stimulants that are gnawing and shredding what once was a nearly perfect relationship between husband and wife.  

It’s a grim picture that the US Census bureau offers on divorce – over 6,000 divorces per day equating to over 46,000 divorces per week.  Some statistics suggest that almost 50% of marriages end up in divorce.  http://www.mckinleyirvin.com/blog/divorce/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/  October 30, 2012

Divorce is like an after shock caused by the times, Government scandals make headlines and we the people take the hit left to pick up the pieces of a corrupt Government.  Starting with the housing bubble, the stimulus package, and the many changes in our Government administration America has steadily regressed. 

Not just married couples, but people from all walks of life have suffered due to a fractured economy, an ever growing National debt, steady increase in unemployment and a barrage of other things that are attacking us.

The sad thing is marriage is taking a “hit’ due to outside influences that the average human being can’t control.  The middle class which has been the Nation’s mainstay is quickly disappearing.  This class of people has truly been hit below the belt due to loss of homes, jobs, savings, retirement and hope. 

In many instance, the blame for a broken marriage has shifted from the real culprits to the spouse.  Dysfunction in the family often times comes form the loss of hope. Spouses have lost their jobs, their homes and their ability to function, not because of their marriage partner but because of the disgusting DNA that our Nation now embraces. 

Possibly the old adage that two heads are better than one should be revisited, because it’s going to be pretty darn lonely out there if you go it alone.  It’s almost impossible for either spouse to function alone when neither one has a job. Maybe understanding what is actually creating havoc in the marriage would ease the anger and uncontrolled emotions that husband and wife are experiencing daily.

 God is alive and well and times will get better.  People will once again have jobs, homes and hope – nothing wrong with putting divorce on hold for a while. 

As Always,

Little Tboca   

Judge Speaks to Divorce Litigants

It seems when it comes to divorce and children, everyone has two cents to add to the mix.  Some of your dearest friends may egg you on and tell you to beat up your spouse, destroy them slice and dice them until they have been diminished to a less than human person.

Many online sites have bottom line etched on their forehead - they don't really care much about you, but they surely do like your money. Divorce has become one of the bigger markets in the USA - beware though because not everything you read or see is gospel.

Yep, there's even some high powered divorce attorneys out there who take a peek at your bank account before accepting you as a client - they know how to prolong the divorce proceedings, how to fuel your fire so to speak until all you can think about is demolishing that person whom you promised to "love, honor and obey until death do you part.

But the flip side to all of the above is this, there are many many caring divorce attorneys and divorce judges out there who are compassionate, kind and want to be fair to both parties. There are many online sites who care about you and try to give you good advice. So the best thing to do is take your time when contemplating divorce and above all put your kids first on your list of priorities.

HeOctober 09, 1994|By Abigail Van Buren.re us information from the Chicago Tribune


Several decades ago, a wonderful kind judge gave some of the divorce advice of our times - it's still relevant and accurate in 2013.  His name Judge Haas of Walker, Minn., - read and think about his advice.  

 Here's what the judge wrote to Mr. Kiltinen a Minnesota Attorney - Mr. Kiltinen sent this on to Dear Abby. 

Dear Mr. Kiltinen: Many divorcing parents could learn from the wise words of Judge Haas . . . and here they are:

"Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to who you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.

"No matter what you think of the other party-or what your family thinks of the other party-those children are one half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an idiot his father is, or what a fool his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child that half of him is bad.

"That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love; it is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.

"I sincerely hope you don't do that to your children. Think more about your children and less of yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or they will suffer."

Divorce Team - is Crucial

Although divorce attorneys have acquired a lot of negative publicity, the fact remains there are many great divorce attorneys who are prepared to represent you in good faith.  

Theirs is a profession just like any other and it’s their livelihood, of course there are charges for the service they offer. Like physicians they have a high overhead and must pay the monthly bills. Divorce isn't a free commodity!

Do your homework find a list of attorneys who have a good divorce track record, select one from that list and set up a preliminary consultation.  Normally there isn’t any charge to this first meeting – so go prepared with questions that need answered. Ask what the hourly charges are, how much if any deposit required and set up a feasible schedule limiting office visits, telephone calls etc. 

Take control of the attorney/client relationship – it’s not fun to be blindsided with unnecessary attorney fees. Your attorney will be the first one to emphasize the importance of working together as a team – even a good attorney can’t go it alone so be prepared to participate in the partnership.

Difficulties that arise due to a divorce litigants false expectations include; (1) Because you’ve been a good parent and good provider you expect a favorable decision by the judge, (2) Because you have been the main breadwinner, you feel that most of or a large portion of the marital assets should be yours, (3) You expect the attorney to win your case regardless of family law or the many errors you’ve made during the marriage, (4) You decide in your mind what is morally correct and expect a favorable decision from the judge based on your moral perception.

False expectations immediately create a tension between attorney and client.  The attorney needs all information regarding marital assets, child care, participation with child or children, financial obligations, pre nuptial contract if any, retirement funds or savings etc. Give the attorney all information concerning the marital relationship. Paint a detailed picture of the marriage including all documents showing paid receipts, time, date and resolution.

Don’t misrepresent or lie to your attorney - lies can be the reason for an unfavorable decision from the divorce judge.  Team work equates to this – you give your attorneys the tools that he or she needs to build a winning case in court.  An attorney needs proof, not a bunch of “he said, she said,” gibberish.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Pro Se Litigants Can Beat the Odds

Don’t assume this old adage is true, “a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client.” A pro se divorce litigant contemplating divorce can overcome all odds by learning how to fill out divorce forms and building a fact based case for his or her day in court. So why do 70 or 80 % of pro se litigants fall on their face in court? 

Why didn’t the divorce judge listen to you?  Why did he or she hand down an unfavorable decision in your behalf?  Have family laws been compromised?  Or was the judge swamped with personal problems and having a bad hair day?

These are all of the questions that keep going thru your head as you leave the courtroom. What you experienced in court was gut wrenching – it felt like you were swimming against the rapids losing ground by the minute and finally dumped over the water falls.

First of all you decided to represent yourself (pro se) and inadvertently made some major errors. You forgot a few signatures on your divorce papers and didn’t answer or understand how to fill out interrogatories. 

When one person has legal counsel and the other party is representing themselves, the pro se litigant has two strikes against them before arriving in court. Your spouse’s attorney may chew you up and render you helpless. He or she may present a dirty laundry list against you that would turn any judge’s head. 

For the pro se litigants contemplating or going thru divorce there isn’t any easy fix or miraculous formula that will insure a favorable decisions from the judge unless you’re prepared to take the time to equip yourself with information that will empower you in court.

First and foremost before filing for divorce go back a couple of years and start building a powerful case.  “He said, she said” testimony is a waste of time in court – it takes proof, hard evidence to back up statements in the courtroom.

If children are involved, the judge will make decisions in the “best interest” of the children.  Prove that you have been the primary caregiver of the children, show bills, paid receipts, time interacting with the children and show that the children have been and are your priority.  

Not knowing family law or courtroom procedure may leave you feeling victimized by the judge, your spouse and his or her attorney. Ignorance of family law or the judicial system is a feeble excuse – excuses don’t win court cases.  Sure fired ways to irritate the judge include, (1) Divorce forms not filled out correctly, (2) Emotional outbreaks in the courtroom, and (3) Disobeying courtroom protocol.

Your day in court wasn’t a dress rehearsal allowing you a second chance to present your case to the judge. What you didn’t know and didn’t do will haunt you the rest of your life.  One day in court, one small window of time to present your divorce case – how you handle this will affect you for the rest of your life.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Before Going Pro Se - Divorce

Pro Se Divorce - A Difficult Choice



The decision to represent ones self in divorce court is a difficult choice for several reasons. For some it’s a money issue and for others it’s a personality conflict between themselves and their attorney or they feel they can do a better job on their own. The most difficult problem for a pro se litigant is knowing how to work within the judicial system.

The perfect divorce if one could refer to it as that is when both parties actually agree on division of property, assets and financial obligations. Usually when children involved, both parents want to share custody and agree upon joint custody. This is the perfect scenario for those who want to do it themselves without intervention from the courts. 

The pro se litigant who believes he or she will do a stellar job representing themselves has many obstacles to overcome. Very few of these people realize that they have just undertaken a job that will require hours of study and homework. The entire divorce process requires a certain amount of legal knowledge and the ability to control one’s emotions.

Lets assume you have filed your divorce papers timely. You know about the Statute of Limitations, how to legally serve papers on your spouse and understand how to draft and answer interrogatories. But, the big question remains – do you know how to work within the Judicial system and build a winning case. The bottom line is this – have you created a case that will insure a decision in your favor from the judge. 

There’s a reason that judges and the American Bar Association say that pro se litigants often times lose more than they should in divorce court. Most pro se litigants don’t know how to work within the Judicial system, signatures and the Statute of Limitations are forgotten, interrogatories aren’t completed properly. Pro se litigants end up in court totally unprepared because they don’t understand the intricacies of building a powerful case for their day in court. 

Remember you have one day in court and one small window of time to present your case to the Judge. Nobody cares about your case more than you do. Finding yourself in court can be a scary and frustrating experience.

www.caseboss.com is offering free assistance to people who are contemplating or going through a divorce.  Don’t go to court with your pants down – the caseboss team will show you how to build a powerful case for your day in court. 

Just one click of the mouse is all it takes. Go to www.caseboss.com

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Hot Topic in Divorce - Child Custody

Child custody is one of the most difficult problems in divorce that many parents can't seem to agree upon. When the "best interest" of the children should be the guideline for making the decision, often the children are merely the pawns in the marriage and parents think of themselves rather than their children.

Children suffer enough when divorce comes knocking at the door - parents should make the decision entirely upon what is best for the children. Why is this such a contentious problem?  Parents have an obligation to make sure the children have the best of both worlds. Unless there is abuse, addiction or other extenuating circumstances the children should not be separated from either parent.

Sometimes money is a deciding factor, because child custody payments are pretty steep these days. Other times a parent makes a poor decision about child custody because they want to punish their soon to be ex. This doesn't leave the judge much to work with in divorce court, so he or she must try to discover what is in the "best interest" of the children.

This video although created by lawyers gives some good incite into child custody. One of the best places to learn about child custody in your government website. Search for child custody and usually they offer workshops or other articles that might assist you on child custody.



The secret to getting a favorable child custody decision is to prepare yourself with a wealth of knowledge, don't go into the court room on a wing and a prayer.  Have verifiable proof for the judge about your interaction with your children - just because you're a good parent doesn't mean you'll get custody of your children.

Log the time spent with your children, activities shared etc. - if you're the primary caregiver prove it to the judge using hard evidence with dates, times and specifics.  

As Always,
Little Tboca

Will You Tube Lose Your Divorce Case

www.caseboss.com

If you want a favorable decision from a family law judge, don’t play around with fire (social media.)  Divorce is serious business, a family often times is fragmented, futures changed and lifestyles are at risk – divorce is between two people and it’s best to keep it that way. 

Although this divorce on You Tube is most definitely on the cutting edge of stupidity, it’s still a perfect example of emotions laced with temper tantrums where one party has definitely lost control.  http://www.foxnews.com/story/2008/07/22/man-wins-divorce-from-angry-wife-in-youtube-video/

The social media should not be the venues used to hang out your dirty laundry – it’s a perfect way to lose a divorce case. Sharing intimate personal information about oneself or their spouse on Facebook or You Tube has lost many divorces in family court. Sure we have freedom of speech, but when used inappropriately on the social media your spouse and his or her attorney may use it against you in a court of law. 

There are a few big don’ts when contemplating or going thru divorce that all litigants should etch on their forehead. These could be considered “divorce don’t commandments” that are guaranteed to precipitate an unfavorable divorce decision from the judge.

1. Don’t let anger or uncontrolled emotions control your actions.
2. Don’t act like a loose goose in the courtroom with devious body language, profanity and inappropriate gestures.
3. Don’t go to court to start a dog fight with the judge – you will lose!
4. Don’t miss your court date, signatures on divorce forms or neglect filling out interrogatories – you will lose!
5. Don’t use the social media to vent about your spouse or share personal information – you will lose!

Keep emotions in tact, use good manners and be respectful of the judge, your soon to be ex and his or her attorney.  The family law judge doesn’t have the time to be a referee for your theatrics and won’t tolerate having his or her courtroom turned into a three ring circus. What you do and say in divorce court will influence the judge and may be the reason you receive an unfavorable decision.

Be careful what you do on the social side - it may and probably will be held against you.  

As Always,

Little Tboca 

                                                                           

Divorce - Can Head South

Divorce is one of the most financially traumatic things you can go through. Money spent on getting mad or getting even is money wasted.

Richard Wagner  

You’ve passed the contemplating divorce stage and you’re headed for court for the showdown. You’ve been stellar in your homework, divorce forms and divorce papers are in order – you dotted ever “I” and crossed every ”T.” 

The divorce case you’re carrying in your briefcase is so airtight that no divorce judge in the USA would dare cross you or give you an unfavorable decision. This is merely wishful thinking on your part!

As you’re taking that final walk into the courtroom, your demeanor and body language isn’t exactly what one would perceive as friendly, in control and calm. Instead you look like a moose on the loose looking for a fight.

Going into the courtroom with all of your hot buttons turned on will blow your day in court clear out of the water.  So you’re mad, your emotions are verging on hatred for your spouse and you don’t care if the whole world knows your feelings, so what?  Not a good philosophy in the courtroom if you’re praying for a favorable decision from the family law judge.

Believe it or not some people forget their court date – not good this is a sure way to lose your case by default.  A judge once said, “can the cheap theatrics,” he or she means watch the body language and verbal interruptions in my courtroom. 

Don’t ever use the social media as a trash bucket – don’t threaten your spouse, defame them, brag about an adulterous relationship or make libelous statements on social media because it will come back to haunt you and bite more than a little piece out of your b—t.

There are occasions when people act in such an outrageous manner in the courtroom or hallways that they’re cuffed and hauled off to a jail cell. Don’t be one of these statistics.

You have a right to be heard in court, but you don’t have a right to disrupt the judge’s courtroom. You’re in control of your destiny – don’t blow your chances for a favorable decision by the judge.  Control emotions, dress appropriately for court, speak respectfully to the judge and have a strong fact laden case to present to the judge.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.
Margaret Atwood 

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Alternative to an Adversarial Divorce

When contemplating divorce, what are your alternatives?  Spouses can go the usual adversarial way and take their disagreements, anger and emotions to court.

They can sit down quietly and divide marital assets, agree on child custody and or alimony if applicable, which is a fairy tale divorce - no attorney fees, no filing fees and most of all both parties dissolve the relationship quietly without any interference from third parties.

If both parties want to avoid divorce court, high attorney fees they have an option that is becoming very popular in the USA. It's called collaborative divorce, meaning the couple sit down together working through problem areas until they reach a mutual agreement. There are many advantages to this type of negotiation, but can only work if both parties are prepared to put anger, emotions and the innate desire to pay back on the back burner.

This is definitely an "in charge" type of negotiation where your voice or opinion will be heard allowing both parties to arrive at a compromise on tough issues instead of suffering through divorce court and letting the judge make the final decisions.

Collaboration saves money, time and undue emotional stress because the ultimate goal is to agree upon a settlement without having to file divorce papers. If children are involved both parties will feel that they actually worked together to make life easier for their children. This is a big plus and a memory you can cherish the rest of your life.

The idea for collaborative divorce started in the 1990's by Stuart Webb (Attorney) - Stuart announced that he would no longer go to court for his clients seeking a divorce.  Instead he would encourage the couple to work together or collaborate.

It's important to realize Collaborative Divorce and divorce mediation are not the same - mediation is strictly where there is a neutral or third party that serves as mediator. Collaborative Divorce is when each party has an attorney (who serves as counsel) allowing the parties to work together under the careful guidance of legal counsel.

Although this may not be an agreeable option for either party - it might be wise to discuss it and for each party to have a free consultation with a collaborative attorney. It's sort of like "never say no," because it might be a perfect solution for you.

As Always,
Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Divorce - Spousal Support

www.caseboss.com

When contemplating divorce consider the possibility that not only will marital assets be divided, but along with child support you may be required to pay spousal support. 

Even if you hate your spouse and feel that he or she is the reason the marriage is being dissolved - this doesn't mean you'll get off free and clear without paying spousal support.  Spousal support or alimony laws have a lot of what if’s - before your day in court, find out if you will owe spousal support.

The judge determines spousal support on a variety of issues, but not limited to the length of the marriage, the age of the children, the spouse’s capability to earn an income and if he or  she has been dependent on their spouse economically. 

To read a thorough review explaining the ins and out of spousal support go to http://www.findlaw.com/ and search for alimony or spousal support.

Divorce may be one of the most contentious anger laden events in your lifetime - when it is time to divide marital assets, make decisions on child support and alimony  family law judges have stringent guidelines that must be followed.  

Don't go to court under the assumption that the divorce judge will make a decision in your favor. There are a pot full of divorce variables that may in fact limit your normal lifestyle and change your future plans. It's a good idea to talk with an attorney and tax consultant before filing for divorce. What you don't know may hurt you for years to come.  

As Always, 

Little Tboca

Roadblocks for Pro Se Litigants 2013

Divorce litigants are facing extreme almost insurmountable roadblocks in 2013.  Before filing for divorce it’s important to understand what lies ahead.  Judges have a backlog of divorce cases and their courtrooms are clogged due to the fact so many litigants are trying to represent themselves in the courtroom. 

Each year courts are facing financial pains – their funding continues to be slashed, staff must be reduced or furloughed and some courts are closing their doors or adjusting hours.  Along with the financial problems, courts have been clobbered with pro se litigation.  People are trying to save money via self representation and/or they believe they have the ability to master the family law divorce laws and follow courtroom etiquette and procedures. 

Clogging in the courtroom comes from a variety of errors made by pro se litigants.  Many are not taking the time to file correctly for divorce following the Statute of Limitations.  Many don’t know how to fill out or take the time to answer interrogatories, ask for temporary orders or even complete divorce forms correctly.

Signatures are missing, papers not served on spouse timely; consequently pro se litigants may have their case dismissed or walk out of the courtroom with an unfavorable judgment.   

Many pro se litigants fail to prepare their case correctly or just assume that they will sit down and have a friendly little chat with the judge and a case isn’t really necessary.  Pro se litigation is becoming an epidemic that is heading south by the day. 

By law you have a right to represent yourself, but by law you also have a responsibility to study family law and learn how to prepare a favorable case for your day in court.  Court staff can’t give you legal support, no one is standing around to pick up the pieces for you – self representation requires hours of study and homework. A low percentage of pro se divorce cases have a favorable outcome. Pro se litigants can’t keep blaming the attorneys, judges, court staff or the system for their failures.

Here is one solution for divorce litigants – www.caseboss.com  This is a company getting ready to launch that is offering free assistance for one year to litigants who want to build a powerful divorce case for their day in court.

Their team will respond quickly to your inquiries or questions – but the bottom line is this: (1) No one cares as much about your case as you do, (2) You have taken on the job of legal counsel, and (3) There’s no easy way to win a divorce case in court.

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com



Divorce - Infidelity

Is infidelity in a marriage taken into consideration by a family law judge?  If you’re in a no fault state, it probably isn’t going to be a deciding factor in your divorce. Infidelity will cause problems when the cheater tries to get their spouse to agree on a tentative settlement. It is only human nature to fight back when one feels betrayed or rejected; it’s the one trump card that the jilted spouse holds and it’s an extremely powerful card. 

At this point, the spouse no longer feels an inner need to be fair, whatever that may mean.  He or she turns into a banker, accountant, a strategist and what might have been a mutual divorce turns into the wreck of the century. What about the children, who’s is watching out for the children? Two outstanding attorneys always put the children first in their courtroom – neither judge approved of an intimate relationship during the divorce. 

Katherine Eisold Miller is a prominent Collaborative Lawyer and family mediator is now a public educator helping husband and wives choose the best way when divorce is eminent. 

Katherine feels the children should be the priority and encourages parents to make best choices for the children’s sake. She feels an adulteress relationship has very little impact in a no fault state. But, in those states that take fault into consideration the division of property, alimony, child support can be seriously affected.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Katherine%20Eisold%20Miller/

A family law judge (Judge Ann Kass,) from New Mexico always put the children first. She had zero tolerance for those intimately involved in a relationship before the divorce is final. 

http://www.divorcepeers.com/dating-during-divorce.htm

Although New Mexico is a no-fault state, Judge Ann Kass always put the children first. In one of her articles, she said,” But whatever the grown-ups do to themselves, they should absolutely avoid introducing any new companions to their children until the divorce is over and until there is a solid foundation for the new relationship with some reasonable degree of probability that it will last.

If married adults would put the children first, there probably wouldn’t be as many divorces or broken homes. Divorce devours the entire family; no one misses the angry fangs of divorce. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Get Organized for Your Divorce

There are so many questions and very few answers on how to build a winning case for your divorce.  Those contemplating divorce struggle because they aren't familiar with the family laws in their State and even after they file for divorce the big question remains - "how can I prepare for divorce court?" 

So what does one need to do after filing divorce papers and requesting temporary orders?  Probably learning how to prepared your divorce case should be a priority at this time. Your goal should be to eliminate the "he said, she said" evidence and replace it with actual facts that will support your testimony in divorce court.  

Nobody cares about your case more than you do. Finding yourself in court can be a scary and frustrating experience. CaseBossTM has been there before, and we can help. Stop shuffling through papers! We'll help you keep your documents and information secure and organized. Simply scan, upload, and tag your documents with keywords to help you keep track of what's important. Are you working with an attorney? Any documents you store in CaseBoss can be shared with your attorney. Do you have a question for your attorney regarding a document? Want to be sure your attorney sees the value in a particular document? Just write your attorney a note in CaseBoss to flag the document. Divorces are difficult, but they don't have to be unfair. Go to www.caseboss.com and learn how to organize and document pertinent information that refers to your divorce.  The Caseboss team is offering use of their website for one year free of charge - they have a great support team that will help you every step of the way if you have questions or need assistance.  Without a doubt Caseboss is the boss that works for you! As ALways, Little Tboca  www.caseboss.com

Prepare A Powerful Divorce Case Today

Sometimes I've mentioned a company who assists those contemplating divorce or going through divorce.   www.caseboss.com is a very unique website that is free at this time - anyone who signs up now may use it for one year without any charges.  No hidden charges or one more thing to buy - the company hasn't launched yet so now's a perfect time to actually get something for free.

You will learn how to organize documents by date, time and subject. The whole concept of this website is to show you how to eliminate the "he said, she said" testimony which is very weak and difficult for a judge to sift through your divorce story without actual proof. A strong divorce case is one that has actual proof to back up your testimony in court - judges appreciate information that will assist them in making favorable decisions.

This site is great for pro se litigants and or those who have attorneys.  It's a perfect way to team up with legal counsel and will save time, money and frustration for you and your attorney.  If you're representing yourself, it's a great place to prepare your case for court.

Go to www.caseboss.com and get started today.  They have a great team that is available to help you along the way - all you have to do is ask for some assistance.

Many of you have read my blogs and realize that judges say that over 50% if of pro se litigants go to court totally unprepared.  Attorneys are using this site too for their clients and feel it helps build a strong attorney/client relationship.

Understandably most people run when they hear something is free, because it does sound too good to be true - this is one time you'll be happy because the website is free with no hidden charges later down the road.

As Always,
Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Non Contested Divorce vs. Contested Divorce

Often times the picture perfect marriage where two people vow to love, care for and honor till death do they part falls apart at the seams. What appeared to be a perfect union between a man and women has disintegrated over the years and it seems that the marriage is fractured beyond repair.

Neither one is pointing a finger or blaming their spouse; they just wake up one morning and realize that the once powerful relationship no longer exists.  

They both agree that it’s time to go their separate ways. No need to hire legal council, after all they’re intelligent adults and both are willing to sit down and complete the necessary paperwork to end their marriage. 

They will divide up assets, retirement and financial obligations insuring that neither one will suffer needlessly. This is a fairytale divorce without hero or heroine – no villain and no magical being to come to the aid of the hero.

This type of divorce which definitely works for some is called a non-contested or mutual divorce. Both parties agree on division of property, assets and financial obligations.  If children are involved, usually both parents want to share custody so joint custody is agreed upon. 

But what happens when neither spouse can agree on division of property, assets, financial obligations and child custody. Oftentimes one spouse hires a high powered attorney to represent them while the other opts to be a pro se litigant. Unless the pro se litigant is prepared to do an extensive amount of homework and preparation odds are against them. 

Due to their lack of judicial knowledge and courtroom procedure they’re at the mercy of the spouse who has legal council. One has a case to present to the Judge and the other has a story laced with “he said, she said” testimony. Although many judges have empathy for the pro se litigant, their hands are tied and they must make determinations on information at hand.

The American Bar Association and many judges say, “Pro Se litigants often lose more then they should when representing themselves,” because the pro se litigant doesn’t know how to prepare his or her case based on hard facts. There are many workshops and self help information venues for the pro se litigants, but few take advantage of this type of support. 

An Arizona company not yet launched is extending a hand up to  pro se litigants for a year without any charges or hidden surprises.  Go to www.caseboss.com

Their team is waiting to assist you and answer your questions while you learn to prepare a powerful case for your day in court.

1. Judges have little patience with pro se litigants or legal counsel who comes to Court unprepared.

2.  Judges have a small window of time and make final decisions based on verified information presented to them.

3.  Judges are in control of your future – decisions are made on hard facts and not “he said, she said” information. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Are You Ready for Divorce Court?

Most pro se divorce litigants aren't prepared for divorce court  - statistics suggest that over 50% of pro se litigants leave the courtroom feeling beat up, rejected and lost. There are several very important things that a pro se litigant should considering doing before he or she even files for divorce. Here are a few suggestions if you're contemplating divorce.

Study your State's family laws and consider having a consult with a divorce attorney even if you're planning on representing yourself. Usually your first consult is free - sometimes a consult will save you from making major errors when filing for divorce.

Once you've decided to represent yourself in court, you've acknowledged that you're now wearing the hat of legal counsel. Check your state's Government site and learn how to file divorce papers, stay within the Statute of Limitations and follow the correct procedures when serving papers on  your spouse.

Study everything you can get your hands on about division of marital assets, child support, alimony and pre nuptials (if you or your spouse have prenuptials.) Study courtroom procedures - address the judge as "your honor" not Mr. or Mrs. Johnson. Learn how to prepare your case for court and how to eliminate the "he said, she said" testimony.

There are self help divorce venues in your State, find out how to do interrogatories correctly or how to request temporary orders until the divorce is final. Temporary orders cover child custody, alimony, who remains in the home, who pays the mortgage payments and who is responsible for health insurance etc. until the divorce is finalized. These orders are strictly temporary and may be changed by the judge when he or she makes their final decisions.

There's absolutely no good reason to go to court totally unprepared - this requires determination and diligence on your part. It's sort of like preparing to prepare - do your homework first. Go back several years gather up receipts, create a children's log showing which party has been the primary caregiver, get check stubs, credit card bills, mortgage information, retirement funds - get hard copies of anything and everything that you and your spouse have or are responsible for...

 You have a choice here - you can let your emotions and anger dictate your actions or you can methodically take time to prepare a winning divorce case.

To know what you know and what you do not know, that is true knowledge.
Confucius 

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little tboca

Parents Should Try Nesting

When divorce knocks at the door often times the father and mother are preoccupied in their individual missions that they forget the children.

One spouse is high tailing it out of Dodge because selfishly they consider “divorce” a lifeline and a pathway to freedom.  The other spouse sees no freedom in sight; they see their world as they once knew it going up in smoke.

Neither parent thought of the children first – they were too busy arming themselves and preparing for battle.  This has nothing to do with their love for their children – most parents love their children unconditionally.  It’s all about priorities sort of like which comes first the chicken or the egg. 

They both feel that they’re in a sink or swim mode and their first instinct is to save themselves and deal with the children later.  During this survival instinct one or both decide to use the children as pawns. They degrade each other in front of the children and try to get the children to take sides. 

How evil, these little angels are just left there dangling without an advocate in their corner.  Sometimes dad or mom are so infatuated with their new playmate there isn’t any time to hang out with their kids.

The other spouse is on a never ending roller coaster ride of emotions, anger - they’re obsessed with the desire to cremate their once loving soul mate.  Their initial instinct is "pay back" and no one, not even the children can stop them.

So what about the kids, who really cares about the kids?  Shouldn’t the kids be the first priority when divorce is on the horizon?  There are judges out there who are children’s advocates and they do everything in their power to protect the children.

One of these judges is a great lady (Judge Ann Kass) from New Mexico and she believes the courts should give more weight to the children’s rights than the rights of the parents.

Honorable Judge Ann Kass decided to include a “nesting” plan for some extremely out of control parents.  Nesting is when the children remain in their home and the parents with suitcase in hand take turns moving in and out of the children’s home.

This was Judge Ann Kass’s way of leveling the playing field where neither parent would have total control.  The parents experienced what the children will be going thru as they are shuffled back and forth from one parent to the other with suitcase in hand.

“Nesting” seems rather extreme, but it encourages parents to put their children at the top of their priority list.  Divorce is a home wrecker and children are pretty much at the mercy of the parents unless the judge intervenes. 

Before jumping into a divorce, take time to think about your children’s welfare physically and emotionally. There’s no cut and dried solution when there’s a divorce with children. 

A few things that will ease the pain of divorce for your children is: (1) Both parents need to communicate a message to their children that they are loved, (2) Never make the children choose sides – don’t use them as pawns, (3) Both parents should do whatever it takes to help the children thru the confusing transitions created by divorce, and (4) Sit down with the children and assure them that the divorce isn’t their fault.

It’s a proven fact that children want your time, your love and the security you can offer them, not lavish gifts or expensive toys. 

Love Can’t Be Purchased – it’s a God given commodity that your children deserve!

As Always,

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com

Time Out Before Divorce

Getting up one day and whacking your spouse with the news that you’ve filed for divorce may not be in your best interest.  If divorce looms on the horizon in the near future - here is a good rule of thumb to follow. Don’t let the egg come before the chicken!

It’s not wise to broadcast via Face Book, Twitter or other social media or share with your supposedly best friend that you hate your spouse and intend to pay him or her back. What you say out of anger or runaway emotions on a social venue may in fact affect a judge’s decision. 

It is critical to your future and the future of your children (if children involved) that you make rational well thought out decisions.  Usually it takes two to tango and both parties share responsibility for a marriage crash. If you feel all avenues have been exhausted for repairing the broken marriage, then go forward with Plan A and prepare for your day in court. 

Best idea at this time is to become a good detective – go back several years and gather up all documents that pertain to your assets. Start a journal and keep a daily log of money spent, children’s activities, medical bills, retirement funds and all paid receipts.  Now is the time to record any and all information that will be beneficial to you in court - record credit card bills, medical bills, bank statements etc. 

After doing this extensive homework it’s time to sit down and talk with your spouse.  Don’t let emotions or anger enter into this conversation – it’s a strong possibility that your spouse may want to end the marriage too and is open to a divorce by mutual agreement. This saves both parties the expense of legal counsel or arbitration. 

If on the other hand this turns into a free for all or nasty divorce you need to understand what it means to create a strong powerful case for your day in court. Your objective is to eliminate the “he said, she said” malarkey and replace it with the cold hard facts. 

There is a new company, not launched yet who has openings for those contemplating or going though divorce.  Go to www.caseboss.com   No secret charges or hidden costs involved – you’ll find a great team of people who will answer questions and assist you in your case building. 

As Always

Little Tboca

www.caseboss.com