Thursday, November 28, 2013

Judge Speaks to Divorce Litigants

It seems when it comes to divorce and children, everyone has two cents to add to the mix.  Some of your dearest friends may egg you on and tell you to beat up your spouse, destroy them slice and dice them until they have been diminished to a less than human person.

Many online sites have bottom line etched on their forehead - they don't really care much about you, but they surely do like your money. Divorce has become one of the bigger markets in the USA - beware though because not everything you read or see is gospel.

Yep, there's even some high powered divorce attorneys out there who take a peek at your bank account before accepting you as a client - they know how to prolong the divorce proceedings, how to fuel your fire so to speak until all you can think about is demolishing that person whom you promised to "love, honor and obey until death do you part.

But the flip side to all of the above is this, there are many many caring divorce attorneys and divorce judges out there who are compassionate, kind and want to be fair to both parties. There are many online sites who care about you and try to give you good advice. So the best thing to do is take your time when contemplating divorce and above all put your kids first on your list of priorities.

HeOctober 09, 1994|By Abigail Van Buren.re us information from the Chicago Tribune


Several decades ago, a wonderful kind judge gave some of the divorce advice of our times - it's still relevant and accurate in 2013.  His name Judge Haas of Walker, Minn., - read and think about his advice.  

 Here's what the judge wrote to Mr. Kiltinen a Minnesota Attorney - Mr. Kiltinen sent this on to Dear Abby. 


Dear Mr. Kiltinen: Many divorcing parents could learn from the wise words of Judge Haas . . . and here they are:
"Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to who you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.
"No matter what you think of the other party-or what your family thinks of the other party-those children are one half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an idiot his father is, or what a fool his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child that half of him is bad.
"That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love; it is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.
"I sincerely hope you don't do that to your children. Think more about your children and less of yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or they will suffer."


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