Spousal Support or Alimony

When contemplating divorce consider the possibility that not only will marital assets be divided, but along with child support you may be required to pay spousal support. 

Even if you hate your spouse and feel that he or she is the reason the marriage is being dissolved - this doesn't mean you'll get off free and clear without paying spousal support.  Spousal support or alimony laws have a lot of what if’s - before your day in court, find out if you will owe spousal support.

The judge determines spousal support on a variety of issues, but not limited to the length of the marriage, the age of the children, the spouse’s capability to earn an income and if he or  she has been dependent on their spouse economically. 

To read a thorough review explaining the ins and out of spousal support go to http://www.findlaw.com/ and search for alimony or spousal support.

Divorce may be one of the most contentious anger laden events in your lifetime - when it is time to divide marital assets, make decisions on child support and alimony  family law judges have stringent guidelines that must be followed.  

Don't go to court under the assumption that the divorce judge will make a decision in your favor. There are a pot full of divorce variables that may in fact limit your normal lifestyle and change your future plans. It's a good idea to talk with an attorney and tax consultant before filing for divorce. What you don't know may hurt you for years to come.  

As Always,

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Pro Se Litigant & Divorce Attorney

www.caseboss.com

The face off between your spouse’s legal counsel and yourself (Pro se) isn’t a pretty picture. One is experienced in courtroom procedure, knows family law like the back of their hand and the other is in between a rock and a hard place.

So what would be the best approach for a pro se litigant when he’s going into the game with two strikes against him?

Many remember the story about the shepherd boy and Goliath – a young boy had come to the table to do a man’s job.  You can go to divorce court prepared to wear the hat of an attorney if you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, sweat and do the hard work. 

Don’t depend on a bunch of glorified advertisement about how easy it is to represent yourself in a court of law – it’s not easy.  It takes determination, resilience and the ability to acquire the tools that will allow you to present a strong case in court. 

The government site in your state will get you off to a good start, find out exactly what divorce forms are required, how to serve your spouse, what the Statute of Limitations are and determine which court in your area will hear your divorce.

The government sites usually offer support by addressing the laws on divorce with or without children, alimony, child custody, division of marital assets and most states have workshops, self help venues that are easily accessed. 

If you’re going to whip it on Goliath, then learn everything you can about family law and courtroom protocol. Don’t ever assume that the divorce judge will give you a favorable decision because you’re a good person, have been responsible and faithful to your soon to be ex. 

You need to go back several years document everything concerning the marital relationship, make three copies of the information and have hard evidence to present to the family law judge. 

Here’s an example of the “he said, she said” testimony that won’t hold up in court.  If you go to your banker and say I deposited $700 in my account last week and it wasn’t credited to my account. The banker will say, “Mr. Jones show me evidence, a receipt or proof that you made this deposit.

This is exactly what the divorce judge will say in court,” show me proof that you’ve been the primary caregiver of the children, that you’ve been a responsible party. Learn how to craft and build a powerful winning case for the judge. It’s your life, your future and the divorce judge has a small window of time to review evidence and make final decisions.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce - Moose on the Loose

www.caseboss.com

The divorce case you’re carrying in your briefcase is so airtight that no divorce judge in the USA would dare cross you or give you an unfavorable decision. This is merely wishful thinking on your part!

As you’re taking that final walk into the courtroom, your demeanor and body language isn’t exactly what one would perceive as friendly, in control and calm. Instead you look like a moose on the loose looking for a fight.

Going into the courtroom with all of your hot buttons turned on will blow your day in court clear out of the water.  So you’re mad, your emotions are verging on hatred for your spouse and you don’t care if the whole world knows your feelings, so what?  Not a good philosophy in the courtroom if you’re praying for a favorable decision from the family law judge.

Believe it or not some people forget their court date – not good this is a sure way to lose your case by default.  A judge once said, “can the cheap theatrics,” he or she means watch the body language and verbal interruptions in my courtroom. 

Don’t ever use the social media as a trash bucket – don’t threaten your spouse, defame them, brag about an adulterous relationship or make libelous statements on social media because it will come back to haunt you and bite more than a little piece out of your b—t.

There are occasions when people act in such an outrageous manner in the courtroom or hallways that they’re cuffed and hauled off to a jail cell. Don’t be one of these statistics.

You have a right to be heard in court, but you don’t have a right to disrupt the judge’s courtroom. You’re in control of your destiny – don’t blow your chances for a favorable decision by the judge.  Control emotions, dress appropriately for court, speak respectfully to the judge and have a strong fact laden case to present to the judge.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.
Margaret Atwood 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce May Be the Result of a Severe Recession

Is divorce a real solution or merely a band aid in 2014?  Will dissolving a marriage be the answer to fixing the problems you’re facing?  Maybe you and your spouse have fallen victim to the ever changing DNA of our country.  

Emotions are running high due to hard times that have rocked our Nation’s citizens – fear of what the future may hold is prevalent in millions of households in 2013.   

You’re fed up with your fractured family life – everything about your married life seems

unfair and distorted. No one seems to care, especially your spouse.  Every day is a struggle to exist and keep afloat.  Millions of married men and women are contemplating divorce in 2014 and here’s where the problem begins.

Marital relationships are being tried and tested daily – possibly neither party is to blame for the discontent, anger and tension existing in the homes.  There may be outside stimulants that are gnawing and shredding what once was a nearly perfect relationship between husband and wife.  

It’s a grim picture that the US Census bureau offers on divorce – over 6,000 divorces per day equating to over 46,000 divorces per week.  Some statistics suggest that almost 50% of marriages end up in divorce.  http://www.mckinleyirvin.com/blog/divorce/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/  October 30, 2012

Divorce is like an after shock caused by the times, Government scandals make headlines and we the people take the hit left to pick up the pieces of a corrupt Government.  Starting with the housing bubble, the stimulus package, and the many changes in our Government administration America has steadily regressed. 

Not just married couples, but people from all walks of life have suffered due to a fractured economy, an ever growing National debt, steady increase in unemployment and a barrage of other things that are attacking us.

The sad thing is marriage is taking a “hit’ due to outside influences that the average human being can’t control.  The middle class which has been the Nation’s mainstay is quickly disappearing.  This class of people has truly been hit below the belt due to loss of homes, jobs, savings, retirement and hope. 

In many instance, the blame for a broken marriage has shifted from the real culprits to the spouse.  Dysfunction in the family often times comes form the loss of hope. Spouses have lost their jobs, their homes and their ability to function, not because of their marriage partner but because of the disgusting DNA that our Nation now embraces. 

Possibly the old adage that two heads are better than one should be revisited, because it’s going to be pretty darn lonely out there if you go it alone.  It’s almost impossible for either spouse to function alone when neither one has a job. Maybe understanding what is actually creating havoc in the marriage would ease the anger and uncontrolled emotions that husband and wife are experiencing daily.

 God is alive and well and times will get better.  People will once again have jobs, homes and hope – nothing wrong with putting divorce on hold for a while. 

www.caseboss.com

As Always,

Little Tboca   

How to Team Up With Your Attorney

www.caseboss.com

 

 

 

 

 

Although divorce attorneys have acquired a lot of negative publicity, the fact remains there are many great divorce attorneys who are prepared to represent you in good faith. 

Theirs is a profession just like any other and it’s their livelihood, of course there are charges for the service they offer. Like physicians they have a high overhead and must pay the monthly bills. Divorce isn't a free commodity!

Do your homework find a list of attorneys who have a good divorce track record, select one from that list and set up a preliminary consultation.  Normally there isn’t any charge to this first meeting – so go prepared with questions that need answered. Ask what the hourly charges are, how much if any deposit required and set up a feasible schedule limiting office visits, telephone calls etc. 

Take control of the attorney/client relationship – it’s not fun to be blindsided with unnecessary attorney fees. Your attorney will be the first one to emphasize the importance of working together as a team – even a good attorney can’t go it alone so be prepared to participate in the partnership.

Difficulties that arise due to a divorce litigants false expectations include; (1) Because you’ve been a good parent and good provider you expect a favorable decision by the judge, (2) Because you have been the main breadwinner, you feel that most of or a large portion of the marital assets should be yours, (3) You expect the attorney to win your case regardless of family law or the many errors you’ve made during the marriage, (4) You decide in your mind what is morally correct and expect a favorable decision from the judge based on your moral perception.

False expectations immediately create a tension between attorney and client.  The attorney needs all information regarding marital assets, child care, participation with child or children, financial obligations, pre nuptial contract if any, retirement funds or savings etc. Give the attorney all information concerning the marital relationship. Paint a detailed picture of the marriage including all documents showing paid receipts, time, date and resolution.

Don’t misrepresent or lie to your attorney - lies can be the reason for an unfavorable decision from the divorce judge.  Team work equates to this – you give your attorneys the tools that he or she needs to build a winning case in court.  An attorney needs proof, not a bunch of “he said, she said,” gibberish.

Go to caseboss.com and learn how to build a powerful divorce case - absolutely no charges and free for one year.  

As Always,

Little Tboca

Divorce - The Grass Isn't Greener

www.caseboss.com

When divorce is looming on the horizon often times it seems to be the only relieve for both parties involved in the marriage. Husband and wife wake up one day believing the grass is greener if they could just release themselves from this failing relationship.  Neither one is going to budge or change their minds.  So often only one party wants a divorce and they feel deceived and very abused. 

When abuse, adulterous relationship and addiction aren’t present the question arises – what has caused this beautiful marital relationship to fray?  It takes two to tango and it takes two people working together to make a marriage work. 

When anger and emotions dictate actions of people, the end results are at  times disastrous.  Decisions made during extreme stress can actually dictate one’s future and it’s not always positive or good.  Family law judges say most times neither party can remember what started this ugly pathway to divorce. 

If and this is a big “IF” both parties can find some common ground and start communicating again, there are several options out there that might save the marriage.  Both parties must want to save the marriage or it’s pretty much already headed too far south and beyond saving.

Court ordered legal separation is a great option for those not wanting to see their marriage dissolved.  Both parties must continue being responsible and accept the obligations that accompany a union or marriage.  The couples want marital assets, child custody and child support clarified and yet neither party wants a divorce. 

 Sometimes religion or taxes are the reasons that they agree on a legal separation, other times it gives them a cooling off period to live separately without their partner.

During this separation period some couples are considering reconciliation, counseling and some third party assistance that will help them put their marriage back together.  At other times, neither party wants to be reunited with their spouse – they just want to be legally separated without being divorced from their spouse.

Divorce is devastating when children are involved and there are other options available to husband and wife if they actually consider the “best interest” of the children. 

Remember way back when there were many valid reasons that you married this person – don’t let anger or outside elements like the recession ruin what was once a perfect marriage.  The extreme stress due to this Nation’s economic problems, Obamacare and overall a very dysfunctional Government tests a beautiful marital relationship. 

As Always,

Little Tboca

Pro Se Divorce Litigants Must Do Their Homework

www.caseboss.com

Divorce litigants are facing extreme almost insurmountable roadblocks in 2014.  Before filing for divorce it’s important to understand what lies ahead.  Judges have a backlog of divorce cases and their courtrooms are clogged due to the fact so many litigants are trying to represent themselves in the courtroom. 

Each year courts are facing financial pains – their funding continues to be slashed, staff must be reduced or furloughed and some courts are closing their doors or adjusting hours.  Along with the financial problems, courts have been clobbered with pro se litigation.  People are trying to save money via self representation and/or they believe they have the ability to master the family law divorce laws and follow courtroom etiquette and procedures. 

Clogging in the courtroom comes from a variety of errors made by pro se litigants.  Many are not taking the time to file correctly for divorce following the Statute of Limitations.  Many don’t know how to fill out or take the time to answer interrogatories, ask for temporary orders or even complete divorce forms correctly.

Signatures are missing, papers not served on spouse timely; consequently pro se litigants may have their case dismissed or walk out of the courtroom with an unfavorable judgment.   

Many pro se litigants fail to prepare their case correctly or just assume that they will sit down and have a friendly little chat with the judge and a case isn’t really necessary.  Pro se litigation is becoming an epidemic that is heading south by the day. 

By law you have a right to represent yourself, but by law you also have a responsibility to study family law and learn how to prepare a favorable case for your day in court.  Court staff can’t give you legal support, no one is standing around to pick up the pieces for you – self representation requires hours of study and homework. A low percentage of pro se divorce cases have a favorable outcome. Pro se litigants can’t keep blaming the attorneys, judges, court staff or the system for their failures.

Here is one solution for divorce litigants that might help  – www.caseboss.com  This is a company getting ready to launch that is offering free assistance for one year to a few litigants who want to build a powerful divorce case for their day in court.

Their team will respond quickly to your inquiries or questions – but the bottom line is this: (1) No one cares as much about your case as you do, (2) You have taken on the job of legal counsel, and (3) There’s no easy way to win a divorce case in court.

As Always,

Little Tboca

Flying Solo - Pro Se Divorce

www.caseboss.com

When a divorce is contested by a spouse, usually the fight is on and battle has been declared. Whether you are flying solo and representing yourself as a pro se litigant or you have legal council there are some very important things to remember.

Preparing yourself for that brief visit in the Courtroom in front of the divorce judge who is a total stranger who literally has your life in his or her hands requires time, energy and dedication.  

Just because you’ve hired legal council doesn’t insure a positive outcome in the courtroom. If you’re too busy to team up with your attorney, your day in court will probably be disastrous.

They can’t present a strong case without your assistance – they need organized data and specific information and this requires hours of input on your part.  Eliminating the “he said, she said” factor solidifies a trusting attorney/client relationship and increases the probability of having a winning divorce case. 

If you’re representing yourself as a pro se litigant you’d better plan on hours of sleepless nights as you prepare a powerful case. Ignorance of the judicial system or courtroom procedures is absolutely a non-winner; there’s no excuse for going to court with your pants down. 

Whether you have legal council or you’re a pro se litigant a winning divorce case depends on you and you alone. It’s unfair to blame your attorney if you haven’t responded timely to their requests. It’s unfair to blame  the judge if you haven’t arrived in court prepared.

In a nutshell the burden of proof rests on your shoulders. A judge makes his or her decisions based on information at hand – did you prepare your case like a good detective eliminating the hear say evidence and replacing it with hard facts that gives a judge the informational tools that he or she needs? 

A winning divorce case in the court of law isn’t an accident; it can only be attained by building a strong offense. It takes time, energy and even money sometimes to organize data and create specific reports by day, month or year. There is some great assistance out there for people who are contemplating or in the process of divorce. 

Go to www.caseboss.com and start today building a powerful divorce court for the judge. No hidden charges or unexpected surprises – it’s totally free for one year.  Although they haven’t officially launched their site yet, they’re offering a hand up to men or women. The team is anxious to assist you and will be happy to answer your questions.    

As Always,

Little Tboca

Collaborative Divorce - Good Option

If neither party can agree upon child custody, division of marital assets – the family law judge will follow the divorce guidelines of his or her State, which means both parties will have to give and take.
The divorce “pie” will be divided up between both parties.

But, when both parties are willing to work together and come to reasonable conclusions it’s a win win for them and the children.

Collaborative divorce is a positive alternative that prevents the parties from being exposed to the courtroom; it allows a couple to resolve the tough decisions together.  Both parties must be willing to follow the family laws of their State.

Collaborative divorce may be a much better option  ,because it will save them money, emotional trauma and alleviate the courtroom drama.  Both parties hire an attorney whose job is to act as referee and adviser while decisions are being made.

The attorneys will make sure everyone plays by the divorce laws in their state – in other words they not only look out for their client they insure that all decisions by both parties are legal.

One attorney can’t represent both parties – each party has their own attorney who is well versed in collaborative divorces. At times the attorneys will call on third party consultants to establish actual value of marital assets, financial experts or psychologists. The best interest off the children is a huge issue and the attorneys will serve as liaisons for the children trying to get the couple to work out child custody, who lives in the marital home etc…

The mail goal of the collaborate attorneys is to guide the couple on fair and reasonable solutions.  The attorney’s job is to make sure that decisions made are legal, fair and equitable for both parties. If at some time, the couples hit a snag and can’t agree on the main issues than the attorneys will step down.  Divorce is an extremely contentious subject and at times the couple hit a snag and refuse to collaborate. 

If this happens, divorce court is the next option on the horizon – remember the divorce judge will follow the same family laws that the collaborative attorneys did.  He or she will hand down the final decision based on the factual information given to them. 

Collaborative divorce is becoming popular saving both parties money and undue stress – many couples are finding this a great way to make the tough decisions without ending up in divorce court. 

As Always,    

www.caseboss.com

Little Tboca

Divorce Court - Dress, Demeanor & Data

www.caseboss.com

It’s your day in Court – first impression in the Courtroom is extremely important. Leave your anger, frustration and pity parties at the door – revisit them in the privacy of your home but never in front of the Judge. Remember your manners, speak softly make eye contact and put on a happy face. 

Does anyone really care what how you dress?  You can bet your bottom dollar that the Judge, your soon to be ex and his or her attorney are checking you out from head to toe. 

                                                                                         

Men should wear dress slacks or a suit. Levis and a sloppy shirt hanging over your mid section just doesn’t fly in the courtroom if you’re trying to make a good impression.  A nice hair cut adds a subtle touch and a soft pastel colored shirt makes a perfect picture. If possible cover all tattoos, remove any nose rings and for Pete’s sake leave the profanity at home.

Women should cover body parts, not having anything hanging out, over or flopping.  Dress like this is the most important day of your life, which it may well be if you come to court looking like a lady of the night. Pastels are a great choice, red is probably a little too bold and black may be a little too stern. Don’t come flaunting orange or purple hair and leave the “tiger claws” at home.

Keep your composure, don’t give way to frowns, muttering under your breath, shaking your head or pointing your fingers at anyone. If there are children, refer to them at all times saying, “our children,” not my children. Good rule of thumb until the divorce is final it’s good when being descriptive to say our home, our vehicles or our debts etc…

If your spouse has council and you’re a pro se litigant be prepared to be ripped, diced and sliced by his or her attorney. Do not act defensive or angry, smile and answer questions accurately and quietly. You’ve arrived in court with a slew of “hot buttons” turn them off and don’t fall prey to lies, accusations or threats.

Before you head to Court, learn how to create a strong powerful case that tells your story based on facts and hard evidence. Learn how to eliminate the“he said, she said” testimony.  The D's of divorce, "Dress - Demeanor - Data."  Dress appropriately, control emotions and present a powerful case, not a sob story. 

Have a Great Day

As Always,

Little Tboca

Foster Parents Special People

www.caseboss.com

Let’s talk to parents who love children, aren’t contemplating divorce and are a little curious about foster care.  Do you love to give a hand up, mentor, train and love having young ones hanging out in your home?

Most States will allow single parents or couples to care for foster children, but some states will not allow an unmarried couple to take on the job of being a foster parent. Here are a few requirements before thinking about a foster home - if you’ve had a felony then don’t even bother at this time or at least verify this information through your State.

Must be 21 or older and agree to attend parenting classes. Should have a regular income, foster parents may work a regular job, but must insure the child has proper daycare. You will be contacted and home assessed along with every family member. 

A big home isn’t of great concern and your income should be enough to care take care of your personal expenses. There are Federal funds available if you qualify, but you must have other income too, the money is for the children not one’s personal needs. 

Usually foster children do receive a Medicaid card, which helps on health care.  Bottom line is this: only volunteer to be a foster parent, because you love children and have the time and desire to welcome a little stranger into your house. 

Remember if you qualify for parenting, the children may be removed from your home in days or a few months. There is a federal law that insists States try to place that child in a permanent home if possible – maybe family members or adoption, because they feel that is in the “best interest” of the child. Can you gracefully and lovingly give up that child or children to a permanent home?

Don’t take on foster parenting if you’re doing to it for financial reasons!  A foster parent can be a very special person in a child’s life – best not to make a snap decision, study all of the laws on foster homes and parenting in your State.  

As Always,

Little Tboca

Children Pay the Dues in Divorce

www.caseboss.com 

It’s so difficult to realize that children suffer during and after divorce, because one or both parties couldn’t control their emotions. Your children love their grandparents, uncles and aunts! Children need their families and shame on you if you’re using the children as pawns in your divorce.  It makes children feel sad when ones they love so much are name calling, back biting, yelling and screaming at each other. 

Your children will always remember and thank you, if both parents can sit down and tell them they love them and it’s not their fault that daddy and mommy are getting a divorce.  Do what is best for the children always place their welfare ahead of 2 angry adults that just can’t wait to gouge and punish each other with spiteful accusations. 

Parents so often get wrapped up in their selfish little worlds that they will do anything to prove a point or punish the other person.  The little ones are the ones who suffer and pay the dues for a disastrous divorce.  

It’s a good rule of thumb if contemplating divorce to keep your divorce between the two parting ways.   

Don’t share your dirty laundry with friends, family or neighbors because one day it will come back to haunt you.In a moment of weakness you decide to hurt your soon to be ex - spouse by posting a wild party on Facebook you just attended or an extended vacation with boyfriend or girlfriend. 

Run from the social media during divorce proceedings - attorneys are pros at tracking down your most   recent new relationships or activities and it may affect the family law judge’s decisions.  After-all if you’re out enjoying a so called single life before the divorce is over, are you really a parent who should have custody of the children? 

 Here I go again, catch myself stating this one more time – a family law judge’s priority is the children & he or she will make decisions which are in the “best interest” of the children.

  

In closing, if you take off your rose colored glasses when contemplating divorce and think about the children first, everything else seems secondary.  

Your decisions will amaze you as the children are now your priority and paying back your soon to be ex isn’t nearly as important as it was two weeks ago. You become centered on the kids their future, education, sharing custody if possible etc... 

As Always,
Little Tboca