Child Custody - Children Come First

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If a couple is contemplating divorce, there is one major issue that should be their priority.  Too often one or both are so wrapped up in an emotional angry war that they neglect their most important responsibility.  The children should always be the priority when preparing to file for a divorce – not 2^nd or 3^rd down the ladder of priorities. 

A family law judge will be the first to share with the litigants that his greatest concern is the children – he or she actually acts as a liaison for the children.  The judge first and foremost will make decisions which are in the best interest of the children.  He or she will want to know who the primary caregiver has been, who feeds, clothes and mentors the children.  

Which parent takes an active part in the children’s lives such as extra - curricular activity, homework, school activities and necessary medical attention? 

Often times both parents share in raising their children and the judge will then have to make a decision, which parent gets physical custody while the other parent is granted visitation rights.  Both parents will be awarded legal custody as long as both parents are responsible and capable of making good decisions for the children. 

 

Don’t ever assume that just because the judge grants you physical custody of the children along with child support and alimony that this privilege can’t be removed if you have reneged on your responsibilities.  A friend of mine who was granted legal and visitation rights ended up having full custody of the children – he proved that his ex was doing drugs, drinking and overall neglecting the children.

Child custody is top priority for a family law judge.  In a contentious divorce, don’t expect any favors or freebies from the judge when it comes to the children.  No matter how angry you are with your spouse, it is wise to sit down and discuss quietly what choices will actually be the best for the kids.  If both parents are responsible and can show the judge they’ve worked out a parenting plan that is in the children’s favor, he or she certainly will consider this as a possibility. 

Here is a video from Findlaw that discusses briefly the different types of child custody – although rare there are times when a divorce judge deems both parents unfit to raise the children.  When this occurs the judge can’t in good faith give either parent the children. As Always, Little Tboca